The Fishbowl
by Blue Arista
Summary: Despite being warned about Edward's manipulative womanizing ways by just about everybody, new student Bella will just not stay away. She believes she can actually change the tragically flawed Edward, but her quest is not without casualties. AH, OOC.
1. Prologue

**This story is rated M for adult language and future sexual content. If you have a problem with that please don't read.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters of Twilight - I just manipulate them to do my bidding.**

* * *

**BPOV**

Up until exactly 4 minutes ago, a school population of 357 seemed relatively tiny to me. I could handle being around 357 of my peers for a little over the year I am supposed to be here. After all, my previous school had roughly twice the number of students per grade. 357 was supposed to be cake.

That was 4 minutes ago; the exact time I was standing outside of the school entrance gazing up at the Forks High School sign above the two sets of glass double-doors that led to my new establishment of learning.

Knowing that 357 students is a small number is somewhat misleading when you consider that you are actually surrounded by all 357 students is such close proximity all at once. In Phoenix, even though the school population greatly surpasses the population of Forks, there are several different _buildings_, hallways and lunch hours that allow you minimal contact with the full student body. Here, in Forks-fucking-nowhere, you can't really escape.

I guess there is a different dynamic when you live in a town this small and go to an even smaller school.

When you are in a big city, you honestly don't really get the chance to make too many friends.

Big schools offer more classes; more classes means the likelihood of having the same people in multiple classes are slimmer. Finding people who share common interests or who simply don't annoy you so much that you want to punch them in the face is another factor. It's even harder considering you are basically limited to keeping friends with your fellow peers who live within a reasonable distance from you outside of school. Long distances don't really work when you aren't old enough to drive. This equation does not summate a long list of friends if you get what I mean.

So I guess the bigger the school, the fewer friends you have, but I might add that they are probably going to be more loyal.

Forks is small. Really small; too fucking small if you ask me. I guess when you live in a town this size, with parents knowing parents and kids growing up together, you take what you are given and make-do.

In Forks, it is entirely possible to be on a first name basis with every single kid you go to school with. You may not like them, but you will know them or at least know who they are.

It really is such a fucking cliché – a small town with its head up its own ass. News travels faster than the speed of light, everybody knows who sleeps around or who is still a virgin and life outside of this fishbowl doesn't really exist.

I wouldn't consider myself a big-city girl by any means, but I would certainly never willingly chose a town this small to live in, and this town is pretty low on my shit-list.

Listening to the stories from my dad, it seems that once you are a _Forksian_ you are a _Forksian for life_. This idea is completely disturbing to me. The gene pool isn't that large for one. Makes you wonder…

For all these reasons, that is why when I stepped thought the entryway doors of Forks HS just 4, well now more like 6, minutes ago, I almost had a panic attack.

There were kids everywhere. Every-fucking-where. In addition, the first thing I noticed is that I, Bella Swan, a Forks expatriate and daughter of the beloved Chief of Police, was not going to fit in at all.


	2. Observations

****

**This story is rated M for adult language and future sexual content. If you have a problem with that please don't read.**

**Stephenie Meyer owns the characters of Twilight.**

This chapter is pretty long. I promise more dialogue and interactions in future chapters, but I felt I needed to set some stuff up first. Enjoy. Review if you you like to say anything about my story!

* * *

**BPOV**

Some people might chose to describe my personality as acerbic, but I much prefer the description of cautiously pessimistic. I had a few good friends in Phoenix, but I was by no means ambitiously sociable.

I knew my moving to Forks might be a slight problem because I've never been one to make friends easily. Some people tend to avoid me, and by some people, I mean pretty much everyone my age.

It's not that I'm too good for the adolescents of America, it's just that… okay, I may think I'm too good for them. Not even that, I'm just smarter or more intellectual than the average teenager. This girl has depth. I mean when I was 12, I carried around a copy of Howl in my back pocket and quoted the first line to anybody who would listen. That tends to freak some people out.

This is probably why I am 17 and have never been kissed. Libidos tend to avoid girly parts attached to a real brain.

When I was still a girl on the verge of womanhood (whatever the hell that was considered) my mom used to encourage me to put a little effort into my appearance. Her misguided reasoning was that if you look approachable, you might actually be approached. I basically told her to fuck off and leave me alone; although, I didn't use that particular phrase. The real reason she wanted me to _dress up_ was because, even at the tender age of 11, my mother was afraid I would end up alone.

It sucks to realize your mother might actually know you better than you think… she was right.

I mean, I'm no Drew Barrymore waiting on the pitcher's mound for my sexy dream guy to realize that looks aren't everything, sweep me off my feet and give me a full-stadium applause-inducing kiss that completes me. I just want to be felt up… a little.

Fuck!

That's another thing about me that people are quick to criticize; I swear like a drunk sailor. My mother is constantly reprimanding me for my abuse of swear words which is strange because it is the only motherly instinct she seems to possess.

My mom, Renee, is probably too cool to be considered a mom. What little guy friends I had thought she was doable. Huge ego blow. They wouldn't touch me if I paid them.

She is a not-so-reformed hippy who charms people with her whimsical wit. I seem to use my wit as a weapon. I blame her for my general sour outlook on life. It's hard to be pleasant when you are jealous of your own mother. She usually eclipsed me in everything; looks, social ability, dating… you get it. Despite all of this, I love her. It's impossible not to – which is why I have resented her since the day I learned the meaning of the word.

If I ever did bring a boy home to meet my mother they would probably try to hit on her, and Renee, being the indulgent flirt she is, would probably love it.

Speaking of my mother, she just remarried to a traveling minor leaguer. I totally dig Phil. I think they are great together but they are newlyweds who need time to live out their honeymoon phase, sans me.

For this reason alone, I am sitting in my third-world-country class seat in a rickety commuter plane heading from Sea-Tac to a place called Port Angeles where my father will pick me up to bring me back to the place that started it all: Forks, Washington. My birth place, and probably my death place if things go as well as I think they will.

No, I don't plan on growing old there, but it might kill me.

It doesn't really sit well with me that we have to drive though a town called Beaver to get to Forks.

The pilot just announced that we will be landing shortly. I already can't breathe.

Most people link woodsy, rural areas with clean air and easy breathing, but as I stepped off the small plane onto the pavement at Fairchild airport in Port Angeles, I couldn't help but notice that the air seemed too thick with moisture. My lungs already hate this place, and my brain isn't too far behind.

That's when I looked up and saw him. Charlie was standing just behind the glass window to the left of the door leading into the airport. From here, he looks exactly the same. It's kind of an eerie déjà vu feeling as I walk toward him because I have made this trip so many times over the last few years. This time it's different – I won't be leaving after two weeks.

As I walk through the doors, the routine begins. "Bella," he says with a small, slightly uncomfortable smirk as he looks down on me.

"Hey Dad," I reply looking up at him.

The moment is prolonged a little too long for comfort as we continue to look at each other. It is the kind of gaze that makes you start to squirm. I call it his cop look – the kind of look that is supposed to sweat a confession out of a perpetrator or convey an aura of fatherly concern when directed at me. That's Charlie for you. He doesn't know how to turn it off. I can't really blame him though; it must be hard playing the part of parent for only a few weeks out of the year.

Just when I think I am about to start confessing to things I haven't even done, yeah the cop look is that good, he smirks. "Let's go get your stuff and head home," he says as he turns from me and heads toward the baggage claim area.

The airport is small, and it doesn't take long for us to pick up my bags and get them out to the cruiser. As the trunk is closing, Charlie once again turns and looks down to me with that same weird smirk-cop look hybrid. _What is up with that? _

"You hungry?" he asks.

Still slightly confused with his more attentive behavior I reply, "No, I had a pretty big breakfast this morning. Mom and Phil took me out to eat as sort of a going away thing."

He frowns a little, but still keeps his stoic composure. Thinking I may have upset him, I quickly add, "But if you're hungry, I wouldn't mind getting something to eat."

Charlie simply shrugs and says, "Nah, that's okay. I just wanted to make sure you weren't hungry. Besides, we should probably get home and let you get settled before you have to start school tomorrow. We can order pizza or something if you get hungry later."

I awkwardly smile up at him while deciding if I should just hug him and get this weird tension out of the way, but I don't get the chance when Charlie suddenly turns around and heads toward the driver's side. "Sounds fine," I say to the air where Charlie was just standing.

Shaking my head slightly, I turn around and head to the passenger side to settle in for the last leg of my trip.

The drive is slightly awkward; neither of us are big on the need to fill silence. The radio station softly playing old country music does that nicely. I fucking hate country, but if it keeps Charlie from asking stupid questions, I will tolerate it.

So far, he hasn't asked me why I wanted to come live with him. I'm hoping he thinks I woke up one day and had the desire to spend time with him before I was off to live on my own. That might win me brownie points with the man I can honestly say I hardly know. It doesn't seem like there is much to know about Charlie though. He's a pretty simple guy. Work during the week, fish during the weekend. A predictable cycle. No new hobbies, no new women, no new friends.

Jesus, Charlie and I may be twins.

Just as we are passing the _Welcome to Forks_ sign, I involuntarily cringe and shudder at the same time. There goes my alibi of actually wanting to be here.

I think he knows.

"Look, Bella, I'm not gonna play dumb and pretend like I don't know why you're here. You've made no attempt at hiding how much you hate this place in the past, so I don't know why you'd feel any different now. I realize you're probably here because your mom remarried…" He trailed off continuing to look emotionlessly out the front window.

Thinking he was done, I turned my attention back to the passing scenery but was startled when I felt Charlie's paw of a had roughly clap my shoulder as we approached a red light. Incredulously I turned to him to see him.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is I know you're probably not here because you want to be, but I'm glad you are." With that, he released my shoulder and turned his attention back to the road.

_Wow_. The light turned green with me still gaping at Charlie's open admission to wanting me here. What do you say to that? _Yes, daddy, I'm glad I'm here too. In fact, there is nowhere else I would rather be._ Bullshit. I kept my mouth shut the rest of the ride.

We pulled up into the driveway to a house that used to seem like a vacation house to me. Not a good vacation by the way.

Even though I knew Charlie lived here full time, it was still weird to me to think of this place as a residence. I stayed here exactly two weeks during the summer every year and a few days here and there when my school vacations permitted it.

I would now be _living_ here.

I don't know if you've ever been in a horrible situation that just doesn't seem real until one thing triggers that reality like a bitch slap, but it's not fun.

The desolation I felt pulling up to Charlie's house was kind of like that. Packing my room in Phoenix, saying goodbye to my mom and the people I called friends, boarding a plane to come here – none of those made this experience feel real. I liken it to having a pet die. It doesn't hit you until you come home one day and your dog doesn't jump on you at the door.

If I had eaten anything earlier, I probably would have thrown it up.

Charlie helps me with my bags. The room looks the same; I'm not even sure if Charlie has ever been in my room. Renee helped me decorate it when I was a kid and I've added some stuff over the years, but it is completely void of any sign otherwise. Don't most parents store shit they have no other place to fill in their kids rooms when they aren't using them? Renee probably has discarded exercise machines and wrapping paper in my room and it hasn't been 24 hours since I left.

As I'm hanging up the few clothes I brought, Charlie calls me from down stairs, "Bells, I ordered pizza for dinner, it should be here in about 15 minutes."

I walk out my door and lean over the railing so he can hear me better, "sounds good, I should be done by the time it gets here."

He grunts his response, and I go back to my room.

Fifteen minutes later I am done and downstairs pulling a slice of pizza out of the box so I can sit down and eat with my dad. He does the same and sits across from me at the table in the kitchen.

"I got my old truck up and running for you to use while you're here. It's not exactly the best looking truck, but its durable and reliable… now." He says while looking at me across the table.

I put my pizza down and shift slightly unsure how to properly thank him, "Thanks, dad. I don't really want to be a burden on you, and I know you don't want to drive me around everywhere…. so, thanks"

"Well, I didn't think you wanted to be at school at 5 in the morning. That's what time I leave for work. It's not a problem though. At least it's not just sittin' out in the yard collecting dust." _As if anything could collect dust with this much rain._

"Thanks again," I reply feeling like Charlie would be slightly agitated about changing anything in his routine to accommodate me.

We eat our pizza in silence with Charlie and I occasionally making brief eye contact.

"Well," I say as I stand up to take our plates to the sink, "thanks for ordering pizza, I'm going to call it a night so I can be ready for school tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Bells. Have a good day at school. The kids here are pretty nice so I doubt you'll have trouble fitting in. You are Renee's daughter after all." _Well shit. _He chuckles fondly and I head upstairs.

Just as I am about to enter my room he calls up to me. I go over to the railing and lean over to see him standing at the bottom of the staircase looking up to me. "I know I said this before, but I really am glad you're here. I feel like I haven't had enough time with you. This could be good for us." Before I can respond, he turns around and walks into the living room – probably to avoid a potential _Lifetime_ moment.

I know we aren't exactly close, but I am a little happy that I get to spend some time with Charlie. Maybe this move won't be that bad.

With that thought, I went to bed and set my alarm clock for 7 AM. Apparently school starts at 8:30 here – something about an extra 30 minutes allowing road conditions to get better during the winter. Whatever.

I let the light drizzle lull me to sleep.

_____________________________

The next morning I awoke to a screech that can only be described as wailing babied birthed directly from Satan. _Make it fucking stop!_ Jesus, I need to find a better alarm clock. Bad start to what is probably going to be a shitty day.

Surprise! It's also raining like a motherfucker!

I know Charlie has already left for work, so I take my time in the shower and getting dressed. By the time I'm done it's an appropriate time to head to school to get my schedule. I make it to the parking lot okay. It's still raining pretty hard so no one is in the lot.

Starting a new school is going to suck balls. To make matters worse, I am coming two weeks after the start of the spring semester, not that there is anything remotely springy about this town – ever.

Is it possible to drown in weather this humid? If it hasn't happened yet, I swear I will be the first reported case. I should have gone through some sort or acclimation process before moving here. Phoenix to Forks by way of Sea World. Shamu might drown here. It's just too fucking wet.

Which brings me to my entrance into Forks High School. I now know I will not fit in with these people.

What may you ask is the reason? Ugg boots. My first exposure to the population of FHS was met with a veritable rainbow of the selected choice of footwear of girls who spend entirely too much time in front of the mirror.

Are they even practical in this kind of weather? I would think they would soak right through and be uncomfortable, but sometimes I'm wrong about these things. I have never owned a pair of said boots and would rather go barefoot than wear them.

Don't peg me as tragically frumpy fashion victim. I've got style; it's just more eclectic than what these kids are probably used to seeing. Comparing me versus them would be like comparing Urban Outfitters to Hollister or Aeropostale or some other generic brainless store.

That's exactly one of my first thoughts too: generic. Even the guys, slightly fitted muscle tee's under a letterman jacket, or if they didn't have one, a jacket of the same look. The girls all wear slightly too tight jeans, a choice of nipple revealing thin shirts and those fucking ugly boots.

Ok, I could use this to my advantage and maybe bring a little class and style to the kids of Forks. I, obviously, look nothing like any of the girls here. I'm the kind of girl who sees no problem with pairing my chucks with a funky sundress. These girls see no problem pairing factory-faded denim miniskirts with odd colored tights and those damn boots.

I decide that people don't really know me here so can literally be anything I want. This year my goal is to make friends and be more open to… stuff. Maybe it will get my boobies touched. But I'm having a hard time psyching myself up in this generic cesspool.

I hang my head and take deep breaths. Just as I think I'm going to start crying out of frustration for my situation, a pair of tennis shoes appear in my line of sight. Looking up I see a girl with brown hair pulled up into a messy bun. She's a little taller than I am. She's wearing average looking jeans, and a blue long sleeve shirt. _Better_. She smiles a genuine smile and offers her hand to me.

"Hi, I'm Angela. You must be new. Do you want me to show you to the office?" She's still smiling as I reach for her hand.

"Bella. Thanks that would be great."

She turns around and motions for me to follow her though the sea of students waiting around in the common room. Everybody seems to be looking at me like I'm some sort of freak. I suppose I am to them. _Fucking great._

"So, when did you get here?" Angela asks.

"Yesterday, actually. I just moved in with my dad," I reply.

"Chief Swan? I kind of already know who you are," She looks at me apologetically.

We continue on in silence through the maze-like corridors. Just as we round a corner, I hear two people arguing. I turn my head and notice some tall blonde guy leaning over a short brunette against some lockers. She looks pissed. I slow down just enough to seem like I'm not _trying _to watch, but damn, I love a good fight.

He says something to the brunette girl that is too quiet for me to hear. Her head shoots up and eyes narrow. Suddenly the hall is ringing with the loud slap she delivers. I'm a little startled by the action. That must have really hurt. She ducks out from under his extended arm and huffs off down the hall in the opposite direction of me. The blonde guy remains in the exact position she left him in and exhales loudly.

By this time I notice I have stopped completely, but to be fair, so has Angela. She's looking on just as I am, but has a sad smile on her face.

The blond guy takes a deep breath, straitens up and turns toward us. He tenses when he looks up and notices that people witnessed what happened. For a moment our eyes meet, and damn, he's hot. He's wearing a fitted flannel shirt, low slung jeans and cowboy boots.

He breaks the eye connection, rubs his face where he was slapped and walks down the hall past us around a corner.

Angela turns to me and says, "That's Alice Cullen and Jasper Hale. They're having… problems."

"I can see that," I reply dryly.

"Anyway, the office is through those doors," she points to a pair of glass front doors leading into a large windowed room.

"If you need anything, you will probably see me around. I've got to get to class. It was nice meeting you Bella. Feel free to sit with us at lunch today." I like Angela already.

"Thanks. I guess I should get going" I tell her before turning for the office.

She offers me another warm smile and a wave before turning around herself and walking toward her first class I assume.

As I walk into the office, I think that this might not be such a bad year. I've already made one connection, and I could see myself getting to know Angela a lot better.

My false high is quickly punched in the face as the rather large redheaded woman behind the desk shrieks. "Oh my god, Isabella Swan returns home! I haven't seen you since you were a baby, but I would recognize those eyes anywhere! Here hon, let me get your schedule for you."

Fucking kill me now, I don't want to be here anymore.


	3. It's Cold in Here

Ch 3 - It's Cold in Here

**Wow, thanks for none of the reviews ;). Eh, it's okay, I'm still going to write this story.**

**I would appreciate reviews if you have anything to comment - like if I'm heading in the wrong direction… or if you just want to say **_**good job.**_** Your call. I'm not twisting your arm. I won't treat the first 5 reviewers to an ice cream and pizza party… READ ON!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all characters of Twilight. I own a shitty blue couch.**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV**

The lady behind the desk handed me my schedule along with a map. I thanked her while looking over what kind of hell I would be in for. Not bad. Most of the same classes I had in Phoenix. Notably absent from my schedule was gym. _Score! _I guess it is not a requirement after sophomore year.

"I just know your dad must be thrilled to have you home. He's always talking about you and keeping us updated with what's going on in your life," the woman behind the desk said. _Huh? Is this the same Charlie that I know?_ _What kind of shit is he telling people?_ Now I feel kind of bad; I know he loves me but we haven't exactly been close over the years, and I've done nothing to remedy that. Hearing that he actually _talks_ about me to other people like a proud father – makes me feel like I should make some sort of effort while I'm here.

The name plate sitting on the counter in front of the woman says Ms. Cope. I'm assuming they are the same. I smile back to the best of my ability and let out a little white lie, "I'm glad to be here." It couldn't hurt for her to think that.

I'm slightly uncomfortable being in the presence of this over enthusiastic lady. "I should probably try to find my first class. I wouldn't want to be late on my first day."

"Well, still you have about 5 minutes to get to class so I wouldn't worry." I nod slightly. She continues, "Everything is pretty easy to follow. As you can see, there is only one floor so you don't have to worry about that." She lets out a boisterous laugh followed by a few snorts. Jesus, if I stay here any longer I'm afraid she might pull out pictures of her 'children' fluffy and snowball.

"Thanks again, Ms. Cope. I should get going," I saw with the sweetest voice I could muster. Although, I'm sure it doesn't actually sound that sweet.

"Okay, sweetheart. Just remember to have your teachers sign that slip and bring it right back here after class."

"Got it," I nod again.

"Have a great first day as an official Forks High School student!" She accompanies this sentiment with a… thumbs up. A motherfucking thumbs up.

_Fuck off._

I turn around without acknowledging her well-wishes and exit the office. Who does that anymore? Oh, well.

I look down at my schedule to see where I'm heading first. Homeroom – English, Mason, Rm. 103. I check the map. _Perfect_… it's on the other side of the building… where I started. I can't contain a major eye roll.

Kids are still talking in the halls as I make my way to homeroom, and just like before, they are still staring at me. I hear a few giggles – probably directed at me, and one bold girl whispering rather loudly, "What is she wearing?"

I look down at what I _am_ wearing. Nothing uncommon for someone from Phoenix. Dark grey jeans, my chucks, a plain long-sleeved, fitted white shirt, light blue hoodie with a black fitted bomber jacket. How is this weird? At my shirt doesn't give a clear depiction of my areolas. _Skanks_.

Somehow, I end up standing right outside of my desired destination. It's one of those moments that causes you to be thankful that your brain still works even if you aren't paying attention. If I were, I probably wouldn't have found it. _Mental fist-pump!_

_Deep breath, deep fucking breath. This will not suck. I will fit in here. People will love me. Classes will be easy. My boobies will be touched eventually. What if the first guy that will touch my boobies is on the other side of that door? What if my boobies are too small for anyone to want to touch them? Shit, I should have checked into that. Can you Google average boob size and likelihood of being touched? They're guys; I'm pretty sure boobs are boobs. Shut up brain! Deep breath._

I cross the hall and enter my first class of the day a little more nervous than I thought I would be and slightly queasy.

The teacher is an older man with a slightly balding head fully of wild, wiry grey hair. He's talking to another student but I approach anyway.

"Excuse me," I interrupt causing both teacher and student to look up at me with eyes full of wonder. I think it's wonder.

"I'm a new student; I need to get this signed by you," I hand him my slip.

Recognition flashed in his eyes. "Right! Isabella Swan is it? Right." He bends down and picks up a few books out of a stack behind his desk. "Here are your books; I probably don't need to fill you in on anything that we aren't already going over in class today. We will be starting a new assignment soon, so you aren't going to be behind. Let me sing that slip. Take a seat anywhere that's open – we don't have assigned seating." He rushes out as I'm standing there nodding along to what he is saying. New student protocol I guess.

He hands me back my slip and small stack of books. I thank him and turn around to try to find a seat while he goes back to talking to the other student. When I turn, who do I see grinning back at me? Angela. ANGELA! A friendly face!

She flags me over, almost wildly waving her hands and squeals, "Bella! Come sit here," gesturing to the open seat available right next to her.

"Hey Bella!" She turns to me still smiling. Maybe it's just me, but Angela seems a little too excited about seeing me. Maybe she needs more girlfriends. I shrug off the thought.

"Angela, thank god I know someone," I say as I drop the stack of books on my desk.

"Have you gotten lost yet; I know these hallways are kind of screwy." She sounds genuinely concerned.

"Map." I show her the object still clutched in one of my hands.

"Right. Well, this is my boyfriend, Ben. Ben this is Bella Swan, the Chief's daughter." She pats the back of the guy sitting in the desk in front of her. He turns to me and extends a hand to shake.

"Hello Bella, nice to meet you."

"You too Ben." For someone who has had so much trouble making friends in the past, I seem to be doing okay now. Were my mother issues really that bad? I'll ponder that thought later.

Ben drops his hand after I shake it, turns more in his seat toward me and knits his eyebrows together like he is seriously thinking. "So, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Ben!" Angela admonishes him while playfully slapping his back.

I'm confused. Angela just introduced him as her boyfriend and he's asking me if I have one? Is this one of those open relationships? Oh man, is this how the people of Forks swing?

"What, I'm just trying to gauge the kind of reaction the girls here will give you. So do you?" He looks apologetic but truly curious. At least he's not trying to feel me out for a kinky three-way staring me and the girl behind him.

"Uh, no I don't," I answered cautiously.

"Too bad, the girls will probably be nicer if you did." He shrugs.

"Oh..." I say kid of deflated.

Angela notices and pipes in, "Don't worry about it. He's probably right, but you shouldn't have too much trouble. Although… the guys will all probably be nice to you, either trying to make a good impression on the new girl or to try to get in good with the Chief's daughter."

_That's a comforting thought._ I notice she didn't say anything about them wanting to feel me up. A girl's gotta have priorities.

As I am musing quietly to myself, a shortish brunette with a head full of crazy curls walks up and sits on the other side of Angela.

Angela turns to her and says, "Hey Jessica, this is Bella; she's new here"

Jessica leans forward and give me a small wave. She seems genuinely nice too. "Hi Bella."

I am about to say hi back when another girl walks though the door. I've never been into any of that psychic, new-age, people-reading stuff but this girl has a bad aura. She exudes bitchiness. She's got short, straight, bleach-blonde hair, is wearing a tight red shirt with a denim mini, tights and _those damn boots_. Unlike most people I have met today, she is _not_ smiling.

Jessica breathed under her breath just loud enough for the people around her to hear, "Bitch."

I think the blonde girl heard her because she sharply turned her head and glared at the Jessica girl before taking her seat toward the front of the class.

I leaned over to Angela and whispered, "I take it those two don't like each other."

Angela giggled slightly and whispered back, "I'll tell you all about it at lunch if you sit with us."

How can I say no to that offer? "Sure thing. How do you know we will have the same lunch period?"

She actually laughed this time before composing herself and replying, "There is only one lunch period here." I not my acknowledgement.

Like I said, too fucking small.

We both straitened back up as the teacher called attention to the class.

* * *

After English, Angela and I discovered we had the next class together as well. Spanish with Señora Cramer. _That's totally not a Spanish name._

We talked some more walking to the next classroom. Angela seems like she would be an awesome friend and I am beyond glad that she is the first person I met. She also seems to know the low-down on the local drama, which I think I need to know if I am going to survive here. Now, if only lunch would get here sooner so I can hear what the hell is up with those Jessica and Lauren chicks.

Spanish is nothing new. I did the whole new student protocol with the teacher and found a seat near the back next to Angela again.

Two more class before lunch. Algebra II with Clapp and Art with Wilder. Math… ehh, not my strongest class but I'm looking forward to art! Phoenix had an excellent art program and last year we were in charge of painting a massive mural on the side of a record store downtown. It was one of the coolest things I've ever been a part of.

Let's just say, Algebra isn't even worth mentioning… but I will. Not only did I not know anyone in this class, but I was also two weeks behind in homework that the teacher seems to think I should catch up on. I was too busy going over missed assignments that I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone before class started.

Art was better; much better.

I walk into the room and can already see that this isn't just a glorified arts and crafts class. The teacher looks like an aged hippie; I find those kinds of people usually make the best art teachers. She wants us to call her Anastasia; Mrs. Wilder is too formal – it messes with her Chi. To each their own.

Anastasia engages me in a rousing conversation about the importance of art in shaping the minds of the leaders of tomorrow. All of the other students have already been seated and the class was supposed to have started but I don't want to interrupt her.

She finally realizes the time and dismisses me to my station.

I look up to see if I know anyone; some people seem familiar but then I see her. The girl from the hallway earlier. The girl who slapped that hot guy. Like I am mentally calling out to her, she looks up at me and smiles broadly. I'm unsure if she is nice or not based on what I saw earlier but I have decided I don't care and smile back.

The class goes on much like the others. Anastasia talks about upcoming projects and has us go through some of the supplies to see if we find any inspiration.

I pack up my stuff after class and make my way out of the room in hopes of finding Angela for lunch.

I stop dead in my tracks when I feel a dainty tap on my shoulder. I turn around and look down to see Alice Cullen smiling up at me. "Hi, Bella! I'm Alice! Wow, um, knowing your name may sound creepy it's just that everybody probably knows your name by now – being new and all. Not that it's any excuse. Let me start over. I'm Alice… and you are?"

I had to laugh at her chipper attitude. I want to tell her I know her name too because I saw her slap who I presumed to be her boyfriend in the hall before school, but her mood seems to have drastically improved so she's probably not still upset over… whatever _that_ was.

"It's cool. I know people know who I am without asking. I think the lady in the front office knows more about me than my own father, and I am Bella."

She threw her head back and laughed lightly. "Yeah, that's Ms. Cope. She makes up in gossip what she lacks between the sheets if you know what I mean. The crazy old spinster's got to have something to get off to."

I'm starting to love Alice. She just must have been having a bad morning.

"Let me walk you to lunch," she says as the walks beside me.

"So, how are you liking school so far?"

"Nothing too bad so far. Art has definitely been my favorite class so far. Algebra II is definitely my least favorite."

"Yeah, Dr. Clapp is sort of strict. He used to be a college professor. Sometimes he likes to pretend we are smarter that we actually are."

"He's going to fucking kill me. I already have to make up the last two weeks of work." I grimace at remembering all of the work I have to do. This weekend will be spent trying to catch up.

"It will be okay. My brother is an ace in math and I'm sure I can get him to help you if you need it," she offers.

More points to Alice. "I will probably have to take you – your brother, up on that offer if it gets to be too much."

By now we have reached the lunch room and Alice motions me to follow her.

"Hey, let me introduce me to some of my friends." Alice noticeable brightens at the mention of her friends.

I agree to go because I haven't met too many people yet, but I can't help but thinking, _I wonder how much more of this I can take._ No, brain, it's a good thing. I'm… networking.

She leads me over to a table where three other people are sitting with their lunch.

The first person I notice is a guy that looks like he just finished competing in a Mr. World completion. He's _huge!_ Cuddling up next to his is a very beautiful blonde girl. She giggles and playfully slaps him arm before kissing the place she hit.

The big guy is looking down on her lovingly and whispering things to her. They seem like the perfect couple.

Sitting across from these two is the blonde guy from this morning. His back is to me so I can't tell what kind of mood he is in.

Alice and I stop in front of the table and she clears her throat a few times to get their attention.

"This is, if you can believe it, my twin brother Emmett and his _lovely_ girlfriend Rosalie Hale." She channels her inner Vanna White and points to the perfect couple. I got a "Sup" from Emmett and a simple "Hi" and a small wave from Rosalie. They both seem nice; although, it is really hard to believe that Emmett and Alice could possibly be twins.

Alice pauses for our greetings. Her voice loses some of the pep when she turned to the blonde boy sitting across from the other couple. "And this is my boyfriend Jasper."

I looked at Jasper; he was looking at me as well. Anyone could easily tell he didn't look happy – tense even. He must recognize me from this morning. I turned to the others, "Hi everyone. I'm Bella"

Jasper didn't say anything.

Alice turns to me and says, "Will you sit with us today, Bella?"

Behind her I can see Jasper tense even more. Of course he doesn't want me to sit with them. He knows I saw them.

To ease him and answer the question I say, "Thanks for asking, but I already promised Angela I would sit with her today." I don't add that I'm all too eager to sit with Angela because she will be filling me in on the bad blood of Fork High's catty bitches. _Hmm, maybe I can get Angela to tell me about the thing between Alice and Jasper while I'm at it._

Alice's face falls a little but she quickly recovers. "That's cool. Maybe some other time, right?"

"Definitely!" I try to answer enthusiastically. Jasper relaxes some – probably relieved.

I turn back to the table. "Well, it was nice meeting all of you. I'm sure I'll see you around." I wave.

They all smile back at me and wish me well; all except for Jasper. He just watches me turn and walk away.

I spot Angela across the room and she waves me over.

"Hey girl, I'm glad you found us. I was beginning to think you would be sitting at the Cullen's table," she says with a slight edge.

I shrug as if it's nothing and say, "Alice and I have art together right before lunch; she just wanted to introduce me to her friends."

Angela nods and offers me a seat next to her. Ben is sitting on the other side of her and two other boys I don't know are sitting across from her.

Angela speaks up, "Guys, this is Bella. Bella, this is Mike and Eric. You already know Ben of course."

I shyly wave at the two boys. Besides Ben, they are the first boys I have formally been introduced to here.

Mike gives a lazy "hey" as he is shoving fries in his mouth. Eric offers me his hand.

They are both pretty cute. Mike has short sandy blonde hair with incredible blue eyes. He also has these adorable dimples when he smiles. I want to pinch his cheeks and add W's to the beginning of every word I speak to him. Eric has slightly longer dark hair with dark brown eyes.

They both look pretty harmless.

Mike speaks up, "So Bella, do you think you could get your dad to help a brotha out and dismiss one of my speeding tickets?"

_Ugh._

Angela rolls her eyes, "No, Mike, I don't think so." She turns to me and grabs my arm. "Come on Bella, let's go get some lunch."

We go through the line and Angela turns excitedly to me right before we are about to sit back down at our table. "Okay, I know I promised you the dirt on Jessica and that girl you saw earlier."

_Jackpot!_

All three boys look up at us and Eric says, "Uh oh! Be prepared to hear some messy shit."

Ben and Mike snort and agree.

I smile while turning my attention back to Angela and nod eagerly for her to continue. "Yeah, what's up with that?"

Angela looks around the lunch room before continuing. "Jessica usually sits with us but today she and Edward seem to be doing their own thing so I think we're safe to talk about it."

"Who's Edward?" I question. I haven't heard anything about an Edward yet.

"Ugh, he's the problem." Angela replies while looking like she wants to vomit. "You know that girl that Jessica called a bitch earlier?"

"Yeah" I reply quickly wanting her to get on with the story.

_Ugh, when did I turn into such a gossip whore? It hasn't even been a day yet!_

She continues, "That's Lauren Mallory. Those two hate each other for one reason and one reason _only_… Edward Cullen." She says his name dramatically and full of malice.

How many Cullens are there in this school? "Cullen? Like the girl from the hallway this morning?"

Everybody turned to look curiously at me. Angela seemed to tense up while turning more towards me and whispered, "yeah, Edwards her brother. Well really he's her cousin, dad's brother's kid, but when Edwards real parents passed away Dr. Cullen took him in, but that was a long time ago. Most people think of them as siblings now anyway."

"So, why do they hate each other because of Edward?" I ask to the table but more directly to Angela.

"Because they are both… _doing_ him." She somewhat whispers the word doing as if it's the dirtiest word she's ever heard.

"He's fucking both of them?" I blurt out, which caused the occupants of our table to look at me and start to laugh hysterically.

"Yeah," Mike said with a snort, "they're not the only two."

"You mean he's fucking _more_ than two girls at a time?" I asked incredulously.

They all seemed to agree in some way with a not or a shoulder shrug.

"Don't they care that he's with others?" What self-respecting girl would be with a guy who is fucking multiple girls?

"That's why Lauren and Jessica hate each other. They actually used to be best friends… before," Angela says sadly.

I somewhat confused at this point. "Do they hate all of the other girls he is sleeping with just as much?" I ask.

Angela shakes her head vehemently. "No, most of the other girls are pretty good friends with Lauren. Lauren and Jessica hate each other so much because they are probably each other's main competition for Edward. He seems to stick with the two of them the most. Jessica does hate the other girls though. She's just more focused on hating Lauren."

"Wow!" I say stunned. What the hell kind of girls go to school here. I'm not even sure this kind of stuff happened back in Phoenix - of course I wouldn't know; I wasn't exactly _in_ with the gossip.

Angela is quick to add, "Jessica is actually a really sweet girl though. She's just… slightly delusional when it comes to Edward. He's the rebel brooding type and Jess thinks she is going to be the one to break him."

This is a lot to think about. I let out a big breath and shake my head.

I look up when I hear Mike say, "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear."

I follow Mike's eyes to the entrance of the cafeteria.

In walks the most beautiful fucking guy I have ever seen. He puts Jasper to shame no doubt about it. Oh fuck; he's got the sexiest dark reddish brown hair I've ever seen. He's wearing a dark grey button up with the sleeves rolled up with black jeans and black cowboy boots that I'm sure have never been in the presence of any sort of farm animal.

He walks in with his head turned down and his hands shoved in his pockets. A few steps behind him is… none other than Jessica. She is smirking and looking at the back of Edward's head like he is the reincarnation of James Dean himself.

I know what they've been doing.

They walk a few more paces before Edward turns to Alice's table and Jessica turns the other way toward us.

For a moment I am still caught up in my thoughts of just how beautiful Edward is until I remember that this is the same guy Angela just told me about; the same guy who is shamelessly fucking multiple girls without offering anything in return.

I cringe. Jessica waves at our table as she sits across from me.

"Hey Bella!" She chirps – obviously in a great fucking mood. _Hah, fucking mood – yes she is._"How has your day been so far?"

"Definitely interesting," I reply dryly remember everything I've just learned about her little activities.

She just nods and starts talking to Angela none the wiser that we were just talking about her.

I can't really pay attention to anything they are saying. I turn my attention back to Alice's table. Edward strolls up, Alice gives him a hug and pats the seat next to her. He sinks into the chair and puts his head down on the table. Emmett laughs and something Alice says and Edward just shakes his head like he wants them to leave him alone.

By now, there are a few minutes of lunch left and I try to add myself into the conversation going on at my table.

Angela is right, Jessica does seems to be a really nice girl. The other guys at our table aren't bad either. Mike and Eric are playfully funny.

* * *

The lunch bell just rang and I'm off to my next Class – Biology with Banner. Mike is in the same class and offers to walk me so I don't get lost.

We make small talk along the way until I have to go up to the teacher and begin the new student protocol all over again.

_Shit, I'm ready for this day to be over!_

I get my books and slip taken care of while students are entering the classroom behind me. Mr. Banner seems really nice and offers to help me find someone who can help me if I get too behind in the class.

Mr. Banner seems really nice and offers to help me find someone who can help me if I get too behind in the class.

"Ok, Bella. That should be everything you need to get started. Go ahead and take a seat at the only open lab table and we can begin." Mr. Banner points to an area behind me. I turn to look for the open seat. Right fucking next to Edward 'fucks for fun' Cullen.

_I wonder if I can get my schedule rearranged._

I slowly make my way over to my new lab table, glaring at Edward along the way. I pass Mike and he notices my glare before snickering and shaking his head. He gives me a slight nod as if to say 'you'll be okay'. I nod back and take my seat. Edward is hunched over the desk looking at some book.

_Okay, Edward doesn't know me and certainly doesn't know I've heard about his reputation. Try to be nice to him. That's what new Bella would do._

I swallow, plaster a fake-ass smile on my face and turn to him. "Hi, I'm Bella"

Without changing positions, he looks up at me with a tight smile and slightly nods his head before looking back down at the book he is reading.

_What the fuck?_

I thought Edward was supposed to be this torrential womanizer? I know I'm not the prettiest girl, but I saw some of his conquests when Angela pointed out a half dozen other girls that Edward keeps on the side. Shouldn't he be appraising me and trying to figure out the best way into my pants? Isn't that how these things work?

_Why do I even care? It's a good thing he's not looking at me like I'm something to eat. He's disgusting._

Still, it would be nice if he at least looked at me.

Mr. Banner starts his lecture and Edward doesn't acknowledge me for the rest of class.

I spend my time alternating between feeling disgust for the boy next to me and being slightly offended that he doesn't at least acknowledge me. Oh well, Angela did say he was the quiet brooding type – or something like that.

Class ends, Edward is quick to the door to leave and Mike waves at me as he exits.

I make my way to the last class of the day really just wanting to go home.

I have History with Whitlock.

The first person I see when I walk into the room is Jasper Hale.

_Shit, I forgot to ask Angela about Jasper and Alice. He looks like he hates me already._

This is probably a stupid thought. He doesn't know me. He's just reacting to the fact that I saw something I was obviously not supposed to see.

I go to the teacher for the last of my duties and turn around to find a seat.

That's when Jasper does something I never would have expected. He smiles and gestures to the seat next to him.

I cautiously walk toward the seat as his eyes never leave me.

After I'm seated, he leans over to me and quietly says, "I should apologize. I never introduced myself at lunch. Jasper Hale."

He extends his hand and I'm so shocked at this turn of events that I can't help but stare at it like it's the key to all of life's secrets. He clears his throat seemingly amused by my reaction and I look up at him sheepishly while offering him an apologetic smile.

I reach for his hand. "Nice to meet you Jasper. Bella Swan."

He smiles back at me before turning his head to the side slightly looking like he's pondering something, "Do you mind if we talk for a few after class?"

"Sure." I wonder if he's just playing nice right now before he corners me after class and yells at me to mind my own damn business. I probably deserve that. I was staring at that little scene this morning.

He nods and turns back to the front.

This day has been strange.

All too soon class is over and people are getting up to leave. I stand up with my stuff and notice Jasper is already standing waiting for me.

"I have to drop this slip off at the office then we can talk on the way out," I say looking up to him unsure of what he wants.

"That's fine. I'll walk with you."

This is a little awkward.

We make our way side-by-side to the front office.

Jasper tries to make small talk by asking me the same questions I've heard all day… 'How do you like Forks,' 'How was your first day,' – the usual crap.

Thankfully, Ms, Cope isn't in the office but some other old woman. She takes my slip and tells me I'm free to leave.

Now it's time for Jasper to start talking.

I think he realizes this because he suddenly straitens up and takes a deep breath.

In a tight voice he says, "I'm really sorry you had to see that this morning."

There is no use in playing dumb in this situation; he clearly saw me in that hallway. "I'm sorry I was staring; it was really rude."

He shakes his head and chuckles, "I'm pretty sure anybody would have watched. Don't feel bad."

I'm quiet as I look up at him occasionally.

He opens the front door for me and gestures for me to go through. _Such a gentleman._

I wait for him on the other side of the door in front of the school to continue walking.

He takes another deep breath and begins again, "It's just that… I don't want you to think poorly of Alice. Believe me, I probably deserved to be slapped. It wasn't her fault."

I'm a little shocked. "No, I really like Alice. She's been really nice to me."

He nods in approval. "Good, I just didn't want you thinking she was a bad person or anything."

"I understand," I offer lamely. The truth is, I don't really understand. He hasn't offered me anything to explain why he got slapped but I can't ask him because its none of my business.

We reach my truck and Jasper turns to me. "You really should sit with us someday at lunch; Alice seems really excited about having another girlfriend."

"I would like that. Alice seems great!"

He sadly looks down to his shoes, "She is really great." With another deep breath, he shakes his head and looks back up to me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

I wave as he turns around to head to his car somewhere.

Before I turn around, Edward passes me without turning his head or slowing down. He looks up at me through his eyelashes before looking back down and passing. I can't help but stare at him with slight disgust. I don't care if he is hot. There is no excuse for the way he behaves.

I turn around, climb in my truck and head home. It seems like it's been days since I've been there.

All in all, it's been an okay day. I was filled in on so much gossip and history that I feel like I've grown up with these people, which is actually a nice change. Not everyone is what they seem when you first see them. The girls aren't so bad; they seem to hate each other too much to direct any of it toward me. I just have to remember to stay away from Edward Cullen – not a problem. He seems to want nothing to do with me anyway.

* * *

**Wow, what a day for our naïve little Bella.**


	4. Play With Me

**Chapter 4 – Play with me**

**Stephenie Meyer created Twilight. I created Stephenie Meyer – shouldn't I own it by default?**

* * *

**BPOV**

Over the past few days Angela and I have become pretty close. She is a lot like me in so many ways.

I've realized she really is enjoying having another close girl friend seeing as how Jess spends half of her time disappearing with or following Edward. Don't get me wrong, Ben, Mike and Eric are all really cool, but they are... 17 year old boys. I appreciate her as much as she appreciates me.

Every day at lunch, Edward walks in late with either Jessica or Lauren trailing a few steps behind him only to part go to their respective tables.

The second day, it was Lauren's turn. I guessed before I even saw them enter because Jessica was already seated when Angela and I got there.

Like Jessica, Lauren seems to be completely infatuated with Edward. When they parted to go sit at their own tables, Lauren actually skipped to hers. As soon as she sat down, her crony friends, including a few of Edward's other skanks, descended upon her – all giggles and smiles. I could see Lauren making exaggerated hand gestures and talking animatedly to her friends. They were probably trading stories.

I noticed that Jessica watched the entire entrance and glared at Lauren's table for a good five minutes before joining our discussion.

Mike seemed a bit put off by this – he obviously has a thing for Jess.

On Tuesday, I discovered both Rosalie and Eric are in my Algebra class.

Rosalie scares me a bit.

One of Edward's 'girls' – or 'ladies of the night' if you want to class it up a bit - took her seat before she got to class and refused to give it up. Rosalie walks up to her, smiles sweetly down at unsuspecting skank, leans over to her ear and whispers, I shit you not, _two words_. TWO WORDS and the bitch looks terrified. Rosalie straightens back up and patiently waits while the skank frantically gathers her books and stumbles to another seat.

After she is comfortably seated in her designated desk, she looks up and catches my eye a few seats away. She shrugs with a little giggle before settling with a satisfied smirk and a wink.

_And I would have guessed Emmett to be the scary one in that relationship._

Speaking of Emmett, I don't have any classes with him, so I haven't really had to the chance to talk to him, but the kid is always laughing. I mean _always._ It's not a normal laugh either. It's the kind of laugh I would expect to come bellowing from the likes of Zeus himself. I swear you can hear Emmett laugh from anywhere in the building – even if you are in two separate classrooms on opposite sides of campus.

Let's see… math is definitely kicking my ass. I'm not caught up on the past two weeks worth of work yet, so I don't fully understand what _Dr. _Clapp is teaching us in class. I just keep getting farther and farther behind. I have to spend a good amount of time this weekend playing catch-up if I want to have a chance at passing the damn class.

Alice and I sit together in Art. She's a talker.

I really like her though. She keeps talking about going to Seattle almost every weekend for shopping or other reasons. I don't know what those _other reasons_ are, but Seattle is huge and I'm sure it would take her too long to list all of the activities the city has to offer other than shopping.

Style wise, Alice is the closest to the people back in Phoenix – if Phoenix weather was cold and rainy.

Every day she asks me to sit with her at lunch, but I would feel bad leaving Angela with the boys, so every day I politely decline.

Sometimes, she seems a little desperate when asking me.

When I look over at her table during lunch, I notice she looks a little uncomfortable until Edward arrives. Once he does, she talks non-stop – to him and only him. Emmett and Rosalie are usually wrapped up in their own conversation, which leaves Jasper occasionally talking to his sister and Emmett but hardly speaking to Alice.

I don't really get it. He has vehemently defended her to me yet they barely speak. I guess it really is complicated.

On to Jasper. He is a pretty quiet guy. I like Jasper though. We still sit by each other every day in History, and we walk and chat together to our lockers after class is over. Our lockers just happen to be pretty close to each other, so most of the time we never really break our conversation.

Jasper seems to have great taste in music, which I admit, is pretty impressive for a Forks resident.

We usually walk to the parking lot together too. After our goodbyes, he heads to his car while I head to mine.

And every day, Edward walks by with his head down, hands in pockets ignoring me. One time he ever so slightly looked up to see me like he did the first day of class, but most of the time he doesn't. He is the same way in Biology. If we aren't doing a lab that requires us to work together, I don't exist to him.

He makes it too easy for me.

* * *

Today is finally Friday! I believe the devil-clock from hell has a conspiracy to ruin my mornings. Instead of being awoken by howling banshee-babies, I was awoken by a large clap of thunder. I look over to the clock that usually has no qualms about waking the dead only to discover that it didn't go off this morning and I have 20 minutes to get ready. Stupid clock trying to ruin me!

_Either that or I forgot to set it. I'm sticking with the conspiracy theory though._

I have to rush through my shower. I don't have enough time to dry my hair so I decide to let it dry naturally. Without that huge chunk of time being taken up, I have plenty of time to make the biggest pot of coffee possible.

After downing two cups, I fill a large travel mug and am out the door to my last school day for the week!

The worst day of my life started off with the usual routine: Morning classes with Angela and Jessica and math sucking balls.

I blame my problems on having consumed too much coffee that morning. Which, if you think about it, leads back to my alarm clock because I wouldn't have been so sleepy if it woke me up like it was supposed to. _Fucking clock – messing with my sleep schedule._

So I make it to Art, as usual, but have the sudden urge to pee right after class starts.

Anastasia leaves us to work on our own time, so I figure now is a good time to go to the restroom before I settle down. It is pretty hard to concentrate on creating a masterpiece when you have to pee this bad.

I literally feel like I'm about to explode with as much coffee as I had this morning. _Hmm, I still feel like I'm only half awake. Maybe Charlie only drinks decaff. What's the point in drinking coffee if you aren't going to get the benefits of caffeine? I'll have to investigate the container later._

I get the okay from the teacher and make my way into the corridor.

After a few turns, I see the girls bathroom a few feet ahead. _Almost there, Bella. You can make it._

Edward Cullen walks out of the boy's room a few doors away from the girl's restroom and turns in my direction with his head down and hands shoved in his pocket.

_Does he ever look up?_

Because he is looking down, he obviously doesn't see me. I keep walking down my path determined to make it to the restroom without having to acknowledge Edward. I thought my footsteps would alert him to my presence, but he doesn't seem to notice and is now heading straight for me. I keep walking my path not wanting to be the first to move. It's a game of hallway chicken that he doesn't even know he's playing.

_Why should I have to accommodate him? He's the one not paying attention._

He's now a few feet away and still not looking up. By the looks of it, we are going to collide if one of us doesn't move. With an eye roll, I take a step to the right to let him pass. What I don't notice, because if I'm being honest with myself I've been rather openly staring at him, is that there is a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign in the middle of the hall. I realize this a fraction of a second too late, and of course… slip.

My right foot gives out and I go tumbling forward… right into Edward's crotch. To make matters worse, I instinctively put my hands up to grab onto something to stabilize myself. What may you ask did I grab? His ass. Yep. Face in crotch; hands on ass.

I'm sure this would look lovely to a lucky passerby.

I am beyond mortified. What do you do in a situation like this? My brain is literally overloading with a million thoughts on how to get out of this situation or what to say to make it more bearable, but I come up with nothing.

I'm sure my face is completely red by now. This is by far the most embarrassing thing that has _ever_ happened to me.

I decide it's best not to say anything and to just try to get back on my feet. My mistake was looking up at him.

With raised eyebrows, he looks down at me and says, "Wow, I've never been able to use the excuse 'she tripped and landed on my penis' before and actually mean it."

Of course he says this right as I'm pushing myself up, and his disgusting comment catches me by surprise and causes me to lose focus on my very important task.

What happens? I slip again, and like a compass being drawn by magnetic North, my head goes right back to his crotch.

He roughly grabs my shoulder pushing me back slightly and hisses, "Bella… this is not my idea of getting head."

By this time I've managed to make it to my knees.

His comment beyond infuriates me. I've just had my most embarrassing moment lived through TWICE, and he has the fucking gall to make fun of me.

Still, I did head-butt him in the fucking crotch. I've heard from some of my old guy friends that that area is _particularly_ sensitive, so I decide to swallow my pride. I look up to him again, still on my knees.

"I'm so fucking sorry. The floor was wet and I wasn't looking where I was going and then I looked up and slipped and… fuck," I say exasperatedly.

He's still looking down with his eyes shut tight slightly in pain with his fist pressed against his mouth. He's just been delivered a blow to his man junk… by _my freaking head! _I guess this isn't the kind of blow he's used to.

I can't help but giggle a little at my thoughts. He's right. The innuendos are pretty priceless for this situation.

"I really am sorry," I say again. "I swear it was an accident."

He takes a deep breath, seemingly recovered a bit, and nods. "I know."

I look down, suddenly feeling bad about hurting him.

He reaches down and grabs my upper arm to help me up.

I don't want a three-peat of the accident, so I dutifully accept his offer.

We share an awkward moment with both of us not knowing what to say or do until he reaches up and runs a hand through is hair while motioning beyond me with the other.

I get it. We should just move on. I nod and carefully step around him. Without words, we both walk on to our destinations.

As I push open the door to the restroom, the situation hits me again. I honestly can't believe what has just transpired.

_Ugh, I hope I don't catch anything from such close contact. What if he has crabs? Great, I'm going to have to check for lice when I get home. Only I would get lice from the dirtiest guy in school's FUCKING CROTCH!_

Well, I'm definitely awake now.

Nothing like a fresh steaming cup of Edward's crotch to wake you up in the morning.

By now my urge to pee is slightly eclipsed by my impulse to vomit.

* * *

I make it back to class, carefully avoiding eye contact. I'm too full of shame to look at anyone.

After class is over, Alice come up to me and asks me to sit with her at lunch like she always does. I would be far too embarrassed to be around Edward, so I politely decline making up some excuse about one of the boys helping me with an assignment in math.

She tells me if I am having that much trouble, that her brother really wouldn't mind helping me out.

I could never sit with Alice and… Edward.

It's bad enough I have class with him later – even worse considering we are lab partners.

I make it to the lunch room and go straight to our table. I don't have an appetite today.

Jessica and Angela are already there so I suppose it's Laurens day to ride the Edward wagon.

Wrong.

Not only is Lauren also sitting at her table, but Edward walks in a few moments after I do and heads to his table.

I try to keep my head down and away from him but I can't help but sneak a peek.

Alice looks up at me and waves. Edward notices Alice waving and follows her line of sight to me. Now I'm really embarrassed. I look back down at the table, frustrated for being caught but peek up through my hair.

I see Edward whisper something to Alice and Alice start to whisper back animatedly.

_He better not be telling her about what happened earlier._

I notice Jasper looking furiously at Alice and Edward's chatter.

_Great, he probably is. Biology is going to be so much fun._

* * *

I'm literally hoping the school might catch on fire so I don't have to go to class, but a few minutes before the bell is supposed to ring, I find myself outside of the door leading to Biology.

_Just get it over with already!_

I walk in with my head down, really embarrassed and ready to attack if he says anything to try to humiliate me.

As I sit down, he looks over to me slightly but doesn't say anything.

_Good, he's going back to ignoring me._

I'm wishing the bell would ring so we could get this class over with.

I sneak a peek at Edward to see him leaning on his elbow farthest from me and looking directly into my eyes.

_Oh shit._

He smirks and turns in his chair so he is completely facing me. With that damn smirk firmly in place and looking like it's not going anywhere any time soon, he spread his legs while angling his crotch up. He points to his junk and says, "Does your head want to say hello again?"

"Asshole," I whisper back furiously.

_I see he is not going to take the high road._

He chuckles. Even though he is laughing at my expense, it is the first time I have seen him really smile since I've been here.

I hate how I can't ever just think bad thoughts about him.

Mr. Banner starts class and we both turn back to the front.

I'm doing a great job of tuning out the shithead beside me, until Banner speaks up again.

"Class! For the rest of today you will be working with your lab partners going over the instructions for next week's lab. I want us to start as soon as possible when you get here Monday, so be sure you know what you need to do _before_ you leave this room today!"

_Fucking perfect._

I get out our lab book and open it to the right page.

"My sister Alice seems to really like you." It's the first non-sexual, not-smartass thing he's said to me _ever_.

Remembering their gossip at lunch I reply, "She probably won't now. I'm sure you told her all about the little _incident_ from this morning."

He's back to leaning with his head propped up on his hand and looking at me. "I didn't tell her."

Shocked, I snap my head up to look at him. I don't know what to say. Why _wouldn't_ he tell her?

He looks thoughtful for a moment. "She also tells me you are having problems with Algebra. I could help you if you ever need it."

Edward was the brother she keeps volunteering? "When she mentioned her brother could help me, I just naturally assumed Emmett."

"Hmm," was his only reply.

It is quiet for a few moments before he adds, "Even so, I would hate for you to get behind."

I'm a little shocked he is being so nice, but the asshole ruins it when he mutters, "That position is reserved for me."

I go back to ignoring him and he goes back to smirking.

* * *

As per routine, Jasper and I walk to our lockers and then head to the parking lot after the last class.

He gets quiet for a minute, which is usually a good indication he has something to say but needs a moment to put the thought together.

I look up to him expectantly before he starts.

"I know you and Edward are lab partners, and you and Alice seem to get along pretty well, so it's probably impossible to avoid him completely, but…" he trails off.

"But what?" I ask in confusion.

"I think," stalling again. He regroups his thoughts and seems more sure of himself this time. "I think, if you were smart, it would be a good idea to stays away from Edward."

Remembering the moment Edward and I shared in the hallway this morning and the further embarrassment of him literally rubbing it in my face, I reply with confidence, "I really don't think you have anything to worry about, Jasper, but thanks for the warning."

He continues to look at me with a slight air of disbelief.

"Outside of the mandatory time I have to spend with him in lab, I don't foresee us willingly spending any time with each other." I try to reassure him.

He cocks his head to the side and speaks in a slightly condescending tone, "You may say that now, but I'm just warning you that Edward can be very charismatic when he wants to be. Just remember, underneath it all, he is still shithead. He _always_ has an ulterior motive."

I laugh. Even Jasper thinks Edward is an asshole? "I thought you were his friend."

"No, I tolerate him… for Alice. Rosalie is the same. If it weren't for Emmett, she would have beat the shit out of him a long time ago." And I'm sure she could.

_Alice. _Jasper is being so honest with me, I can't help but wonder… I get the courage and decide to ask – probably against my better judgment. "I don't mean to overstep my boundaries here, but… I've noticed there is some tension between you and Alice. Is everything okay?"

He sighs sadly. I shouldn't have said anything. Just as I am about to apologize and rescind my question, he looks up to me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. "Let's just say, she doesn't have a very good role-model."

Role-model? I know it probably took a lot to get him to give me any bit of information, so I let it go for now. I will find out if I am supposed to… or if I snoop around enough. _Bad Bella! Angela and Jess are rubbing off on you._

I think we both feel that this conversation is over. We wave goodbye and head to our respective vehicles.

Just like yesterday, Edward Cullen walks by with his head down and hands in pockets. _Has he practiced that look? I wouldn't put it past him._ And just like Monday, he looks up to me without actually lifting his head. _I guess I exist to him today. _Unlike all of the other days, his trademark blank stare is replaced with a sadistic and entirely oh-so-sexy smirk.

_What a bitch-ass. _I slowly shake my head with a cold stare pointed directly at his fat head and mouth, "_Motherfucker"._

He throws his head back with laughter and continues on to his car.


	5. Cullen Table of Six

**Ch. 5 – Cullen, Table of Six **

**Wow, this chapter is long. I am exhausted! ENJOY!**

**If you like it, please feel free to review!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the** **only person to blame for Bella's face ending up in Edward's crotch. She made them.**

**BPOV**

This week has been exhausting. The only thing I am looking forward to, as I make my way home, is a weekend of doing nothing. Unfortunately, I've been putting off my backed-up Algebra assignments and really need to get those done. I will start on them later tonight; I might even put them off until tomorrow.

I park my truck outside of the house and gather my crap. Charlie won't be off work for a few more hours as usual.

I can't say we've made much progress with bonding, but I think we are doing okay for who we are – two people who have a difficult time showing affection.

I _can_ say that Charlie has been trying to make the effort of acting less like a cop and more like a father around me.

Ever since I could remember, our dinner discussions have revolved around the latest news with the force, local town hall-type stuff, who's been caught speeding/drinking underage/breaking the law - general cop related things. Most of the time I'm completely bored with the material unless it involves someone I've met. I think he can tell because he's been bringing up some random stuff lately.

It's almost as if he picked up a how-to book on '_talking to your teenager'_. He even went so far as to ask me about boys yesterday. Watching him awkwardly fumble around the subject: comedic gold.

I carefully diverted the discussion away from the boy topic. I didn't want the poor man to snap and go all scary on me. Not that there is anything to mention there. _I bet Charlie is the kind of dad who cleans his guns when his daughter brings home a boy._ Scary thought seeing as how I'm his daughter.

I really think he has nothing to worry about. Still, I'm glad he's putting forth the effort.

It's seems like knowing that I will be here for longer than two weeks has caused some latent fatherly instincts to kick in._ Small steps._

He has completely given up talking about his other two go-to subjects: fishing and sports. Don't know, don't care.

I wonder how he is going to handle our first weekend together. As Chief, he has the prime days of the week off – Saturday and Sunday. From what I understand, he usually spends them with an old friend from the nearby reservation fishing. The reservation is a few miles from the coast. He even has a designated spare bedroom in his friend's house so he doesn't have to drive back and forth.

As much as I honestly enjoy spending time with him, I would hate for him to break tradition to babysit me. After all, I'm not a child anymore. Besides, I have too much work to do to get in any real trouble.

Me, trouble? _Fat fucking chance._

Charlie got home a little after six. Most people would think working days that long is absolutely crazy but I honestly believe he would go crazy if he didn't work so much. The man breathes law enforcement. Plus, he's got a sweet stache that can only be pulled off if you are a cop – otherwise he might be mistaken for a pervert or something.

I made us dinner tonight – nothing fancy, just some spaghetti. We both seemed to be exhausted from our week activities, so we called it an early night. He was turning in early so he could get a good start on his break-of-day fishing activities of the weekend and I just felt like my brain had a sensory overload or something. Having a screwed up sleep schedule with a mortifying accident involving the one person I'm trying to stay away from can do that to you.

I'm just glad Charlie won't be hovering all weekend.

Tomorrow, I _will_ start on my Algebra homework.

**

* * *

**

Saturday morning.

Ahhh, to wake up without an alarm clock – greatest feeling on earth. I'm used to waking up on the weekends to the sun shining brightly, even through heavy blinds. Here, I guess I'm just going to have to count on my biological clock to wake me up because it's only truly sunny about one day out of the month.

My clock tells me it's a little past nine in the morning, and I feel completely refreshed. It's as if these past few days have been hell and today is my reprieve.

_Shit. Homework. Two weeks' worth of catching up… shame._

Well, that was certainly a slap in the face. _Stupid brain. You couldn't give me a few more minutes of peace?_

Well, I suppose I should start my day even though I'm really digging my warm bed.

I don't even bother changing out of my pajamas before I head down stairs. What's the point? I'm not going anywhere and would prefer wearing comfortable clothes while I'm being tortured.

The house is completely silent. Sometimes I feel like I live by myself. If it weren't for our 30 minutes of quality bonding time during dinner, I would seriously think Charlie was a figment of my childhood imagination.

_Breakfast first. _You can't be productive without a nutritious balanced breakfast. Unfortunately, this is Charlie's house, and real breakfast food has probably never graced this kitchen. Wheat flakes it is! I need to go to the grocery store later. I've got to have some real food stocked up.

I can't help but reflect on my week as I'm eating my bowl of cardboard flavored cereal. When I first got here, I expected to fit in just about as well as I did in Phoenix, which is not really at all. I lived there for almost 17 years and can count the number of people I considered friends on one hand. Hell, I could also add in those who I considered acquaintances and still not need the other hand. Am I that hard to like?

I made a goal to try harder here, but I sure as shit didn't think fitting in was possible the first time I walked through the FHS threshold. The weird thing is, I really didn't have to try. I know I got lucky when Angela approached me in the hallway on Monday. Just like that – I had my first friend here. Everything else seemed to fall in after that. She, Jessica and the guys are all really easy to get along with too. Sure, they may not have the most intellectual conversations but they are teenagers – most don't. For once, it's refreshing to act my age, and that is something I never thought I would admit to.

The Cullens and Hales are a completely different story. While my usual lunch crowd is pretty straight forward, I always feel like I'm missing out on something when it comes to Alice, Jasper and _Edward_. Like they are all stars of some secret soap opera that the general Forks population is not privy to, but it's definitely there.

For example, what the hell is going on with Alice and Jasper? Separately, they are two very great people who laugh and tell great stories, but get them together and the word uncomfortable seems to be the predominate descriptor. Considering the fact that they are dating, the situation is even more fucked up. If they can't stand to be around each other that much, why don't they just break up?

I know Angela told me they were having problems, but how much torture can two people really take?

Now, Edward is something completely different. Let's just say, I don't like what I do know about him. He has the briefest moments of resembling an actual human but I honestly believe he uses those moments as a set-up for the fuckery that normally spews from his mouth.

_Ha_. He was bred from a female dog and a donkey. _A bitch-ass through and through_.

I went into a brief state of panic after thinking of Edward.

_What if he tries something with me?_ He's already started the sexual banter and winking things he does with the other girls he's screwing at school. Am I his next victim? He could never see anything really interesting in me; I'm just not that interesting. I literally have nothing to offer a guy like him – not that I would want to offer him anything, but I should feel some reassurance in that thought. Right?

If Edward could use me in that way, what's stopping Alice? They are related after all. In addition, Jasper would do anything Alice tells him to. That much I know already. It's only been a week. None of these people have any allegiance to me.

I should find comfort in the fact that Angela seems to genuinely like me, but Jessica I'm not always sure about. She seems more like a fair-weather friend. She and Angela have known each other longer. If I ever did something to set someone off, Angela would most likely side with Jess. Of course if they decide to turn on me, Ben and Mike would as well. Mike practically worships Jess, and Ben and Angela are connected at the hip. That leaves Eric, but we aren't _that_ close.

_DAMMIT! This is why I never had friends before. It's too hard. There is just too much doubt._

It's funny how the littlest thoughts can snowball into a full-blown panic attack.

_Are these people really my friends or will they just get bored with me once the novelty wears off? There is nothing special about me. I'm out of practice with making and keeping friends._

I seriously need to stop over thinking things. None of the people I have met, with the exception of Edward and maybe Jessica, have given me any indication that they would suddenly turn on me, and out of those two, Jess seems most likely.

By the time I'm done with my insane musings, I notice that it's almost 10:30. Maybe homework will actually be a nice way to get my mind off my weird paranoia and feelings of inadequacy.

My light mood from this morning has been damaged. Reluctantly, I make my way back upstairs feeling like the walls are closing in on me while I gather my things from school.

I head back down to the living room and spread my junk out on the coffee table and floor surrounding.

_Why can't I just be happy?_

Just as I've committed to start my homework, the phone rings. _Oh well, Algebra. Fate has decided we weren't meant to be. I must depart now. I hardly knew you._

I skip into the kitchen and pick up the phone, prepared to take a message for Charlie.

"Hey, Bella. This is Alice Cullen!" All of my previous negative thoughts seem to vanish instantly and my mood is back to a great place with one simple greeting. _Hmm, I guess I am more of a teenager than I thought._

"The only Alice I know." I say smirking.

"Good, I like to be one of a kind."

"So, what's up, Alice?"

"I was calling to see if you were doing anything today." Maybe she really does like me. _Of course she does, you were just being a whiny little brat before. _

Hmm, it's Saturday. I remember Alice telling me she is never in town on the weekends unless there is a party or something equally as great. "What's wrong? Not going to Seattle this weekend?"

"Uh," she drawled uncomfortably, "I thought I would just stay in town this weekend. You know, hang out with Jasper and everyone else around the house." She gave her excuse a little too fast to be convincing, but I don't know her well enough to know what's really going on.

"Sounds fun," I say unsure. Truth is, Alice doesn't sound like staying at home with Jasper is what she would like to be doing right now. Based on what I've seen at school, it seems that Alice doesn't like to even be around Jasper. That's probably why she is calling me – or she could just really like me. The evidence points more strongly to the former though. _Stop being so self-conscious, Bella!_

"To answer your question, I'm trying to catch up on my math homework so I can hopefully know what the hell is going on in class."

She giggles at my answer. "Well, Edward isn't doing anything, I can send him over to _help you_," she replies enthusiastically with a little bit too much emphasis on the help part.

_No way in hell is Edward coming here. I would rather fail._

As soon as she mentions Edward helping, I hear someone whisper Alice's name harshly followed by a string of angry sounding words. I can't tell what the person is saying – she must have covered the receiver.

More rustling sounds through the phone, she must have moved her hand again. With a clipped and slightly annoyed tone she continues, "The sooner you finish your homework, the sooner you can get your cute butt over here and hang out with me!"

There is something about Alice. She makes me laugh.

"I know. Tell you what, if I finish at a reasonable hour I will come over, but I'm not promising anything."

I have to hold the phone away from my ear because she starts screaming, "Yay!" and chanting, "Bella's coming over!"

"I said if, Alice," I warned.

"Nonsense! I'll see you later tonight, Bella!"

Before I could tell her _again_ that I would probably be here all night working on my math she hangs up.

Wow, she is easily excitable.

**

* * *

**

Two hours later and I have given up on the idea of spending any part of today with Alice.

I have no idea what I'm doing!

I run my hand though my hair for the thousandth time today when the doorbell rings.

_Who would be stopping by? Everybody knows Charlie isn't here on the weekends?_

_Shit – Alice was serious about sending Edward. I'm going to kill her._

Out of sheer panic, I froze in my position on the floor with my neck craned to the side looking at the front entry way as if the possible intruder will just go away if I ignore the situation.

I can't have Edward here. I would kill him before we got to the second problem.

The doorbell rings again followed by an impatient knock.

Well, he knows I'm here. Where else would I be? Alice told him I was doing my work all day.

Hesitantly, I get up and inch toward the front door.

The doorbell rings again and I'm the one starting to get agitated.

It's now or never. I can always just thank him and send him away.

I take a deep breath, smooth my hair down and reach for the knob.

My mouth literally drops open from what is waiting on the other side.

There stands Emmett Cullen and Rosalie Hale with the weirdest and goofiest smiles on their faces.

Rosalie reaches out and takes one of my hands in both of hers and says with a perfect southern accent, "Hello, my child. Have you been saved?"

Emmett looks on with mock concern in his eyes as if my answer is the most important and life-altering answer that will ever be given.

I can't help it. I start laughing uncontrollably.

Emmett laughs along with me, "I'll take that as a no."

As soon as I pull myself together I look back up at the two of them who are waiting anxiously on the porch.

"What are you guys doing here?"

This time Emmett is doing a cheesy and quite terrible British accent, "My sister Alice said you might need some help on your homework my dear. My lady and I are here to rescue you."

I laugh again and invite them in with a wave of my hand.

I guess it was Edward who whispering the complaints to Alice when she suggested he come over and help me. _Ass._

For a brief moment, I'm a little pissed. _I'm the one who hates Edward. Edward has no reason to hate me._ How immature of me. I shouldn't care if he has something against me. "I guess Edward is too important to help me with my homework."

Rosalie turns around to me with raised eyebrows. "Actually, Edward was half way out the door when Alice suggested he come." My mouth drops open and she turns back around to continue into the living room. "But, Jasper threw a little shit-fit about him helping you so here we are instead."

Jasper? He was the one whisper/yelling at Alice? Hmm.

"Thanks, guys. I know you would probably rather be doing anything else with your Saturday, but I appreciate it. I hope I didn't ruin any plans or anything." Suddenly I'm self-conscious again. What if Jasper made them back out of something they had planned? Worse, what if he bribed them to be here?

They both laugh. Emmett looks down to me, "In case you haven't noticed, there isn't really anything to do in Forks on the weekend unless someone is throwing a party."

Rosalie nods her head in agreement, "We were just being lazy at the Cullen's house. You didn't disturb anything."

Emmett suddenly gets a naughty look on his face as he stalks toward Rosalie. "We hadn't gotten to the _anything_ part yet." Eww.

Rosalie just rolls her eyes and pushes him away.

The two take a seat on the opposite side of the coffee table where I have set up camp.

Emmett straitens up and sticks his nose in the air in mock arrogance, "Now, what most people don't know is not only am I the hottest son of a bitch in Forks, Washington, but I am also a brilliant math tutor. Just ask Rosalie."

"I'm not an idiot; I just need help occasionally." She says with a shrug.

"Okay…" I reply.

Rosalie reaches into the bag she brought to pull out a notebook. "I know Clapp is not stupid enough to assign you the same problems he gave us, but I brought my old assignments to help you. The problems should be similar to the ones he gave you."

I offer to get them something to drink or snack on before we begin. After a few moments of arguing about how to go about teaching me the missed work, we actually start getting somewhere.

Emmett was right; he is a really good tutor. Rosalie is pretty smart too, which makes me wonder if their 'tutoring sessions' aren't really just a thinly veiled method of some sort of kinky foreplay.

Ha. I could totally see Emmett and Rosalie getting really into that fantasy. Naughty school girl meets horny high school teacher for after school tutoring. Gross, but they totally seem the type.

Sometimes they disagree on the proper way to solve certain problems and end up arguing for a few minutes before I have to reign them back in, but all-in-all, I managed to get caught up in just a few short hours.

"Wow," I say slightly exasperated. "Thank you guys so so much for helping me."

"What did I tell ya?" Emmett does his best Fonzie including enthusiastically cool thumbs up.

Rosalie and Emmett are hilarious when they are together, and after today I hope I can call them friends.

I stretch and start to stand up. "Thanks again for coming over on a Saturday. I know you said you didn't have anything better to do, but I'm sure this is not how you wanted to spend your day."

Emmett gave the most effeminate hand wave disregarding what I just said. "Whatever, we would rather help you out than sit at home all day with the dueling lovers and Edward the man whore."

So, everyone notices that Jasper and Alice are having 'issues'? They are so weird.

"Well, I guess I will see you guys in school on Monday."

They both stand up and look at me like I'm crazy.

Rosalie takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "Unfortunately, you aren't rid of us yet. We have strict orders from Alice to bring you back to the Cullen's whenever we are done with you here."

There is no way I can go. I haven't even changed out of my pajamas yet. I voice my concern.

Emmett laughs and pats me on the shoulder. "Little Bella. Pajamas aren't an excuse for you to disobey Alice's orders. Besides, I'm probably going to put mine on whenever I get home. Let my boys out of their cage." To demonstrate his point, he does this weird squat movement while readjusting himself in front of me.

I half whisper in disgust, "I don't need to know about your boys."

"I didn't really need to know that either," Rosalie says with mock horror.

Again, I find us all laughing at the stupidest thing.

Rosalie snaps out of it and pipes in, "You can change if you want but I really don't see the need. You're just wearing some sweats. No big deal. Besides, we aren't going anywhere – just hanging out at the Cullen's."

I sigh dramatically, seeing that I'm not winning. "Okay, let me call Charlie's friend and leave a message telling him where I'm going."

They both perk up at my defeat.

I call the Black's, Charlie's fishing friend, and leave a message with his daughter with the Cullen's contact information if he freaks out and wants to find me. Doubtful.

It hasn't escaped my mind that I will be going over to the Cullen's, as in Edward Cullen, and he is probably going to be there. _What if he's there with one of his call girls? Great…_

I offer to drive myself but Emmett won't let me – saying that I would probably get lost because I've never been there before.

I grab some things, lock up the house and we begin to pile into Emmett's massive Jeep. Rosalie had to get in first and actually pull me up because he had monster truck wheels on it or something. Sheesh. If Emmett weren't such a big guy, I would think he was overcompensating for something.

Turns out, Emmett was right. I would never have found the entrance to their driveway on my own. I'm not even sure I could find it again even after seeing it with my own two eyes. The road is practically invisible. Only a small, and I mean small, break in the brush on the side of the road is an indication to the driveway. Not even a mailbox in sight. They must have a P.O. Box.

We pull up the long driveway to a large, impressive, white house. I've heard from Alice that Mrs. Cullen works as in the interior design department of a large architecture firm out of Seattle. It shows. She mainly does on sight stuff or works from home, so she's hardly ever in Seattle. They do have an apartment there when she has to work out of the main office. That must be where Alice stays when she goes to Seattle on the weekends.

Rosalie helps me down from the monstrosity on wheels and we head up the front porch steps.

Emmett swings the front door open and yells at the top of his lungs, "Hey kids, I'm home!"

I'm surprised the windows didn't shatter.

I can hear a loud squeal coming from what I assume is the kitchen and then see Alice round the corner barreling full speed toward me.

I panic for a second, wondering if she is going to slow down before she collides with me.

Nope. She lunges at me and gives me a not-so-girly hug. "Bella! I'm so glad you made it!"

I laugh with what little breath she hasn't knocked out of me. "I was under the impression I didn't have a choice."

She just shrugs, "Semantics."

Emmett grabs Rosalie and drags her to the stairs, "We are going to see about my boys."

I'm grossed out, Rosalie rolls her eyes and Alice looks confused, obviously not getting the joke. _It's for the best, little Alice, trust me._

"So," I begin. "What was so important that I had to come over?"

Alice starts to drag me to the kitchen. "Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with you. We hardly get to do it in school, and _someone_ refuses to sit with me during lunch." By the time she finishes, she is pouting.

I can't help but laugh. She is adorable when she does that. I'm sure she uses that to her advantage… all the time.

Jasper is sitting on a bar stool in the kitchen and looks up to me with a smile when we walk in.

"Hey hey, Bella! Alice has been looking forward to you coming over all day."

"Hey Jasper!" I take the stool next to him while Alice flies around the kitchen grabbing drinks and various snacks.

He turns to me, "I take it you got caught up on your work?"

"Yeah, Emmett and Rosalie are a total blessing. I would still be sitting there if they didn't come over. Thanks for sending them."

Alice stops for a moment and looks at me, "I'm glad they helped you. I thought Edward would have been a better choice to send over, but Jasper thought two heads were better than one or something."

I shake my head. "I don't think I would have gotten much done if Edward came over."

Alice raises an eyebrow mischievously, "Oh, really?"

Man, it did kind of sound like I was implying that we would be preoccupied _other ways_. I guess that's what's expected when Edward is involved.

"No," I state firmly. "I meant we would probably be at each other's throats too much to get anything done.

"At each other's throats, you say?" She said in the same tone. "I've never heard it called that before." She winks and goes back to doing whatever the hell she was doing.

"Jesus Alice, you two really are related. That sound like something Edward would say."

This time, Jasper laughs and Alice looks annoyed.

"He's not that bad," she huffs.

"Yes he is," both Jasper and I say at the same time, which causes us to laugh louder.

Alice just shakes her head in annoyance. "Whatever. He can behave when he has to, and he takes school very seriously."

She finally sits down on the other side of Jasper and we all talk about random things for a while. The two of them seems to be getting on rather well. Dare I say they are actually acting like a couple? Occasionally she will put her head on his shoulder and his eyes will light up, or he will put his arm around her and she will lean in. At moments like this, it's very easy to see how much they love each other. They defiantly have a strange relationship.

After about an hour, Jasper starts to stand up, "Well, I'm going to go up to your room and finish my homework." He leans down and kisses her on her forehead.

"You two behave!" He says in a strict tone.

Alice just giggles and salutes him. "I'll be up later."

As soon as he disappears from the room, Alice grabs my arm and drags me through the house to their living room.

There are magazines piled up on the coffee table and a huge TV on the wall opposite the couch.

"I thought we could just relax, read a bit, maybe watch some TV… you know."

After the morning I had I'm down with the relaxing stuff.

She takes a seat on the comfy looking couch, but I opt for the floor. They have these huge throw pillows that are perfect for making a makeshift floor-bed.

We both take a few magazines – mostly gossip magazines – and resume our random discussions.

After about another hour, Alice gets up to go get us something to drink from the kitchen. I sit up ready to help her, but she practically forbids me to actually get up so I remain seated on the floor.

I hear the front door shut thinking Alice's parents are home. I can hear Alice chatter away in the kitchen while I continue to look through my magazine.

A few minutes have passed when something bumps into the back of my head.

I turn my head an look up to see that Edward is standing directly behind me with his feet spread and planted on either side of me. He is looking down with his hands made into fists resting on his hips looking like Superman.

"Bella," he says flirtatiously.

It takes me a moment to realize that the _something_ that bumped my head was actually his nether region of doom. How immature. I just roll my eyes, exasperated at his idea of a joke.

He chuckles slightly and winks before backing up and crossing the room to flop down in the chair directly across from where I am.

"You are never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope." Now he is smiling like a fat kid who just got the last cookie.

Despite the fact that I really don't care what Edward thinks of me, the incident is a little too fresh for me to feel comfortable. Maybe in the future I can look back on all of this and laugh my ass off like the situation really deserves, but for now, I only feel humiliation. I really can't bear to look at him. _Hanging my head in shame._

Edward leans forward and rests his arms on his knees. The goofy look is gone – replaced with his signature broody, tortured-soul pout. "I know it was an accident, Bella. Please don't feel embarrassed. It would probably help if you saw the humor in the whole situation. I do."

"Yeah," I swallow feeling a little nauseous, "I'm getting there."

The room is silent for a moment.

He looks back up to me and asks, "Was that your first time with your head in a guys lap?" and wiggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

There it is, the normal moment ruined by his fuckery. _Ass…_

There are so many things I want to scream at him, but I'm a little tired of this – like physically exhausted. My thoughts are even lazy. So I pick up the magazine I've been reading and lazily throw it at him. I'm not even sure I put in enough force for it to hit him because I collapse backward and sprawl out while the magazine is still airborne.

I lay there and look at the ceiling – trying to find patters in the plastered texture. I feel, rather than see Edward approach and flop down beside me.

No words are spoken as we both stare up, relaxing and just being.

I like this Edward. The Edward that doesn't speak. The boy seriously needs to castrate his vocal cords. We could probably get along under those circumstances.

"How was your tutoring session?"

I turn my head to look at him. His eyes are closed and he looks so peacefully like he's sleeping.

One eye opens and stares at me.

I exhale and look back up to the ceiling. "Fine. I managed to get all of my homework done with the excellent help of He-Man and She-Ra." He chuckles.

We are both quiet again. Where is Alice? She should be back by now.

I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear him whisper, "Can I kiss you?"

_WHAT THE FUCK?_

I look at him completely shocked.

"What's up my babies?"

_Thank you Alice – saver of awkward moment._

She comes strutting in with her hands full of drinks and snacks completely unaware of her brother's proposition.

Edward's eyes haven't left mine. Surprisingly, he doesn't have that smarmy smile on his face when he usually says nasty things to me. He still looks… peaceful.

How can he be all relaxed and shit at a time like this?

I look up to Alice realizing neither one of us has acknowledged her presence. She is still standing at the end of the table looking down at our interaction with a smug smile on her lips.

I choke out, "Nothing. We were just… doing nothing."

"Uh huh." Again with that smug shit. Does she want something to happen between me and Edwhore? Never!

"Well…" Alice drags. "I'm just going to head upstairs and see what Jazz is up to."

_No, don't leave me here with him._

The panic on my face must have been apparent because they both laugh a bit. Alice shakes her head and exits the room.

Now what?

How am I supposed to act around him?

I cautiously turn to look back down at him. He's asleep! Great! I don't know if I should be offended or relieved.

As quietly as possible, I start to stand up and tiptoe over to the couch.

"Where are you going?"

Busted. I peek down at him. He is still in the same position but now he's staring back at me.

"I'm just going to the couch. I've been sitting on the floor all day. The couch seems more comfortable," I offer lamely.

He chuckles again.

I make it to my destination and sit against the arm with my back toward Edward. This is awkward. I pull my feet up and close my eyes, resting my head against a pillow.

I hear Edward stand up. I know where he's going before I feel the cushions at my feet dip.

I take a chance and open my eyes slightly. It's like he was waiting for me to acknowledge him, because he leans over and grabs my legs, gently shoving them off of the couch before she scoots as close to me as possible. He then puts his arm around me and pulls me to his side effectively cutting off any chance of my escape.

I admit, I'm a little frightened of what's to come.

He looks down to me just as I look up to him.

"What's wrong, Bella?" he asks with complete sincerity. As if he doesn't know.

"You know what's wrong, _Edward_." My voice is a little more than accusatory.

Edward smiles sweetly and maintains eye contact. "Is this about me asking to kiss you?"

Words escape me at the moment so I just nod.

He leans in a little closer, and I tense up a bit. His face is literally a few inches from mine. Damn, the way he's looking at me…"Relax, I was just trying to break the ice."

"_Break the ice_?" I ask incredulously.

"Bella, you haven't spoken more than two words to me unless we are doing a lab in biology. I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. Any sort of reaction."

_What an asshole! A reaction? Is he serious? Who the hell tries to 'break the ice' by propositioning someone?_

Before I can let him have it he speaks again, "Besides, it's just a kiss – not like I was asking for sex."

To some girls, I'm sure a kiss from Edward would be life-altering material. Most girls would practically sell their soul for something like that. I'm not most girls. His approach is a little more than infuriating. Still, in the back of my mind I feel a little sad. It wouldn't just be a kiss to me – it would be my first kiss. I'm so fucking pathetic. How would he know that though? He wouldn't, and he never will.

"Bella?" He rouses me from my hateful and depreciative thoughts.

"What?" I spit back.

"Did you want me to kiss you?" He asks with something that sounded an awful lot like hope.

_Seriously? He really must think he's God's gift to women if he's asking me this._

I don't answer. I just glare up at him.

Probably thinking I'm pouting because in his delusional mind the answer to his question was, 'yes, I did want you to kiss me', he takes his hand that isn't locking me to his side and places it on my face, turning it so I'm perfectly angled toward him.

Before I can punch him, which is the only thing I want to do right now, he pulls his face down and whispers, "I'm going to kiss you now." I don't have time to do the million things I have planned for him because he gently places his lips against mine, effectively cutting off both my verbal defense and every working cell in my body. Damn, he tastes good.

I swear, every amount of willpower I had to stay away from him went out the window. After a few moments, he pulls me closer with the arm around my shoulder and takes my bottom lip between his teeth. Jesus. I see now. I see why girls practically fall all over him. He's like a magnet. He smells delicious, tastes delicious, and his hand that is now tangled in my hair and massaging my neck feels delicious. What do I do? I start to kiss him back. A little too eagerly if you ask me.

We are now officially making out on the Cullen's couch. I'm making out with Edward. _What the fuck! I'm making out with Edward!_

Yeah, the realization of what I'm doing effectively snaps me out of my Edward induced zombie state.

I immediately stop my actions altogether.

My stalling doesn't deter him. He just gets a little more aggressive. "Bella…" he whispers lustfully. His hand that was on my face travels down my arm and he starts to pepper kisses along my jaw.

I'm sure this situation must look ridiculous to an outsider. Here I am sitting completely frozen with wide eyes while Edward is now attacking my neck.

I'm not going to lie, it feels good – damn good, but it's still Edward.

He's now moaning slightly and whispering my name like it's the god damn answer to all of life's questions. I almost lose my resolve again as he alternates between using his tongue and lips to caress my neck.

Can this get any more awkward? Apparently he doesn't seem to notice or mind.

"Goddammit Edward!"

Edward jolts away from me, and both of our heads snap up to the doorway to see a furious looking Jasper. Yup, just got more awkward.

Alice is standing slightly behind Jasper, but I can see her head peeking out from around him. She looks smug.

I turn to look at Edward, he has that same smirk on his face.

_Of course._

Jasper clears his throat uncomfortably, "I think I should take you home now, Bella."

"I can take her home." Edward grabs my hand, but I promptly pull it away.

"It's okay," Jasper says like he's talking to a toddler. "I'm heading out anyway. I'll just drop her off on my way. Besides," he say accusingly looking at Edward, "didn't you _just_ get home?"

Edward looks back to me. "Are you sure you want him to take you? I wouldn't mind."

_Are you kidding me? Does he really think I _want_ to go anywhere with him._

"No, Jasper is on his way out. I'll just catch a ride with him." I say a little uncomfortably.

I stand up shaking my head at the situation and cross the room to the door.

Jasper, Alice and I walk out of the room toward the front door. She stops me and pulls me into another hug. "Thanks for coming over today Bella! I had so much fun with you. Now you have to sit with us at lunch!"

"I had fun too, Alice. Thanks for having me over… and we will see about lunch. I don't want to just abandon Angela and the guys." It's the truth, but mainly I don't want to sit with Edward. If he weren't there, I probably wouldn't have a problem.

"Nonsense, you _will_ sit with us! Now, get out of here! I'll see you on Monday. I would have you come over again tomorrow, but we promised the parents we would have some family time."

She releases me, and I wave to her as Jasper and I head out to the car. I stupidly turn around right before I open the car door and see Edward standing on the front porch looking at me. He smiles smugly, winks and waves.

I roll my eyes and wave back resisting the temptation to wave with my middle finger. That's just unlady-like.

To be honest, I'm dreading the ride home with Jasper because he's told me repeatedly to stay away from Edward. I'm afraid he's going to start scolding me like a little kid in trouble. He has that whole responsible dad vibe sometimes.

We are quiet until we get back to the road. I look up at him with worry. "Are you okay?"

He smiles. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just thought you would be mad at what you walked in on."

Instead of starting in on a tirade he just laughs. "You should have seen your face."

"My face?" I asked slightly confused. He doesn't seem mad.

"Yeah, it was great. You looked like you wanted to punch him and vomit at the same time. I can honestly say I've never seen that reaction to Edward kissing someone. Fucking priceless!"

He continues to laugh. I don't have the heart to tell him that I didn't look or feel like that the entire time he was kissing me.

I'm relieved that we got that out of the way. We chat a little on the way to my house.

He pulls into my driveway and once again turns serious.

"Just remember what I told you about Edward."

"Got it. Trust me, that was a freak accident."

We both laugh. "Good, I'll see you Monday. Bye, Bella."

"Bye, thanks for the ride."

I get out of the car and wave back to him as he pulls out of the driveway.

As soon as I shut the front door I lean back and slide to the floor.

_What is wrong with me? I let Edward kiss me, enjoyed it for a bit then hated him for it._

Well, it's official. I've had my first kiss. I wish it wasn't with Edward, but damn, he's good.

I need to go to sleep and never wake up.

Charlie will be home tomorrow evening so I have the house to myself again. Great.

I head upstairs, simultaneously exhausted and keyed up. I brush my teeth quickly before collapsing on my bed for a wonderful night of sleep with no alarm tomorrow.

**

* * *

**

Monday

I spent all of yesterday coming up with a plan for today. Avoid Edward, try to avoid Alice (probably impossible), make up an excuse for why I can't sit with them and act like nothing happened at the Cullen's.

Easy, right? _HA!_

Well, it was pretty easy until art – my class with Alice.

She talked to me the entire class and cornered me about sitting with them as soon as the bell rang for lunch.

Turns out, I didn't really need to make up an excuse today. Angela told me she needed help with Spanish. I told this to Alice. She seemed a little upset, but when it comes to Angela, everybody seems to have an understanding soft spot. _Thank you Angela!_

We parted ways at the cafeteria doors with an enthusiastic, "there's always tomorrow," from Alice. _Yes, Alice. There is always tomorrow… for me to make up another excuse._

How am I going to keep avoiding this?

Lunch went by pretty fast. Angela and I worked on Spanish. It went by so fast that I completely forgot to be nervous about spending time with Edward next period.

It didn't hit me until I walked into the lab, suddenly remembering that we were working on a dissection lab that would take all week. _Fucking great_. Now I have to talk to him.

Surprisingly, Edward behaved himself throughout class. We even laughed a little during the really disgusting parts. We would be dissecting a crawfish for two days and then a baby pig. That thought really made me want to puke.

Apart from the class material, being with Edward was actually fun today. If only he could act like this all of the time.

Shortly before the bell was supposed to ring and we were cleaning up, Edward leaned over me and said, "Alice was really upset that you couldn't sit with us today."

"I know," I replied slightly disappointed. I can handle this Edward. Sitting with him wouldn't be that bad. "I had to help Angela with some Spanish work."

"Yeah, that's what she said." He was quiet for a moment as we continues to clean our space. "You should really sit with us tomorrow though. It would make her really happy." He pouted just like Alice did the other day. Are they really only just cousins? They act like twins sometimes!

I roll my eyes at his antics causing him to laugh. Not the arrogant, smarmy laugh he usually gives, a genuine light laugh.

"I'll see what I can do," I reply like I'm super important. We both laugh again.

I've already made up my mind to give in though.

The bell rings and we say goodbye to each other.

Mike caught up to me on my way out the door. Sometimes I forget we have this class together.

"Hey, Bells. You and Cullen seem to be getting along pretty well."

"He's my lab partner. It's just easier to get stuff done if we try to get along." I say shrugging.

He nods with a tight smile. "Okay, well I'll see you later."

"Bye." That was a little weird.

The next two classes go by pretty quickly. Same boring stuff.

Jasper and I walk to the parking lot after school and part like we usually do.

Edward walks by and waves with a real smile. Maybe we can be friends.

**

* * *

**

Tuesday

The day started as usual. I'm feeling more comfortable with my place here and I'm no longer constantly doubting people's intentions.

After first period, Angela, Jessica and I walk out of the classroom talking when we are stopped by Alice in the hallway.

"Hey girls!" She chirps.

"Hi, Alice," Angela offers enthusiastically. Jessica just waves a little, slightly staring at Alice.

"So, I was wondering if I could steal Bella away from you at lunch today. I've been trying to get her to sit with us at least once."

Angela laughs a bit, "Sure, just bring her back in once piece."

Alice gets a devilish look on her face, "I may not want to give her back."

We all laugh a little – except for Jessica. She looks a little pissed for some reason.

Angela and I say goodbye to Jess and Alice and head to our second class.

It's official. Alice that sneaky little shit. I have to sit with them today. Good thing I already resolved to do so.

When I finally get to art, Alice is already waiting for me with a goofy grin.

I approach my station and set my stuff on the ground. "Nice, good move cornering me in front of Angela like that."

Her grin just gets bigger. "I know, right. I'm a genius!"

We laugh while we situate our painting supplies.

After class, Alice locks her arm through mine and excitedly drags me to the lunch room. She's practically vibrating as she drags me through the lunch line. I'm not sure she breathes. That would make sense. It takes up too much of her talking time. Ha.

She drags me to her table where her siblings and the Hales are already seated. Alice ceremoniously clears her throat and announces, "I would like everyone to officially welcome dear Bella to our table."

They all clap. This is embarrassing.

Emmett leans forward and says with a tone of mock arrogance, "You know, this is an honor. You should feel privileged to be at the Cullen-Hale table."

Everyone seems to roll their eyes. "I do. Believe me, dear Emmett, I do."

"Good. Don't take it for granted." Goofy bastard.

I take the seat in between Alice and Edward. Normally Alice sits next to Edward but I have a feeling she orchestrated this little change of seating.

"Yay! This is so exciting! Now there are six of us! It's even now!" Alice chirps happily while clapping.

It's not that big of a deal.

I'm just settling in and starting my lunch when one little thing seemed to cause a chain reaction of doom: Edward put his arm around me. As if fresh blood was being waved in front of a pool of starved sharks, the eyes of about six girls snapped to the direction of Edward's arm and then narrowed in on me. It's like they have some sort of radar that detects when he touches someone. And suddenly, all of the hate Edward's girls used to direct at each other was directed solely on me.

I could feel my skin crawl.

Lunch suddenly got a little uncomfortable.

When the bell rang, I stood up and caught the eye of Jessica who was glaring at me with pure malice.

_Fuck!_

Mike walks up to her; they turn and leave the room.

For the rest of the day, I could feel eyes following my every move. Of course when I looked up, nobody was looking at me. Except for Mike.

Edward and I walked together to Biology because we sat together at lunch and it would have been stupid for us to stagger our arrival to class just so people would quit looking. I'm not sure Edward even knew that people were looking at us. He doesn't seem to care about stuff like that.

Anyway, we are still doing our dissection labs so Edward and I have to talk, but apparently we looked like we were exceeding the necessary interactions of regular lab partners because people were definitely staring at us.

I know I'm not paranoid.

Mike is the only person who hasn't looked away when I look up.

After school my usual walk with Jasper to the parking lot was intercepted by Jessica.

She walks right up to me not even pretend to notice Jasper and asks in a falsely sweet voice, "Can I borrow Bella from you for a sec?"

Jasper looks a little confused but agrees and says his goodbyes.

She continues to stare at me without saying anything.

"Can I help you Jess?"

"It's Jessica."

Shit. She seems really pissed. I don't know why she would be.

Just before I start to apologize for something I may or may not have done she speaks up, "Mike said you and Edward seem to be getting chummy in class, but I didn't believe it, and then I see that shit at lunch? What kind of friend are you?"

She scares me when she talks like this. I really don't want to be on her bad side. For one, she looks like she could beat the shit out of me with no problem.

I offer her the same excuse I give to Jasper and Mike. "Edward and I are lab partners, of course we have to talk. It's easier to get along with him than to fight. Our grade actually depends on it. And lunch… you heard Alice ask me to sit with them. I was there for Alice. Edward was just messing around. There is nothing going on between us, I promise. I wouldn't do that to you." _Or Lauren, or Kate, Tanya, Irina… you get the point._

She softens a little but is still staring at me, "Stay away from Edward."

I just nod in acknowledgement. She backs down, turns and walks away.

_Fucking great. Jessica wants to kill me now._

On top of that, I realize that I've left a book I need in my locker.

I debate for a few seconds if I actually need it tonight. I just really want to go home and forget today, but I actually need it.

I get my book and once again head out to my car. I walk with my head down, looking out for various mud puddles and kicking rocks out of my way. My mood is not that great right now.

I look up when I am a few feet from my car to see Lauren Mallory leaning up against my door.

_Can today get any worse?_

I approach her with a little aggravation.

Unlike Jessica, Lauren is completely relaxed and doesn't seem to want to rip my head off. "I've seen you around new girl."

"My name is Bella"

"I know your name." She exhales and turns her head in mock disinterest. Or maybe it was real disinterest.

To get this out of the way I say, "Look, if you are here to warn me to stay away from Edward, let me save you some trouble. There is nothing going on between us. We are lab partners and at best, friends.

She replies with nonchalance, "Oh, I don't think Edward is attracted to you that way." I'm a little offended. "You're not worth it." That hurt. The problem is, I know I'm not worth it. This thought causes me to frown.

Lauren steps away from my car. "Let me give you a little advice." I know what's coming. She is going to tell me the same thing everyone else has told me, but I keep my mouth shut in hopes she will make it quick. I'm tired, and I just want to go home.

"I'm not usually the type of girls to lend my help when I see someone heading for trouble."

_That's right, Lauren, I'm sure you love to watch people heading for trouble._

She looks directly in my eyes and for a moment she looks vulnerable. "Stay away from Edward Cullen."

"Edward is just my friend. You have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried. I would just _hate_ to see you get your hopes up. Edward is a bit of a flirt as you have probably experienced firsthand," her eyes narrow once again, "but he doesn't really go for the naïve innocent type. They're fun to mess with but ultimately useless to him."

With her words, all of the reasons why I never tried to make friends with girls before I moved to Forks came flooding back to me. In fact, people like her were the reasons I usually kept to myself.

She pats me on the shoulder in a completely condescending way before walking away.

I'm left a little hurt. Honestly, I feel like I might cry. I never cry. I try to shake away that feeling. Everybody keeps telling me the same thing; stay away from Edward. If it's going to cause this much trouble – no fucking problem.


	6. The Crush

**Ch 6 – The Crush **

**A **_**huge**_** thanks to everybody who has read and reviewed my story. I hope you don't think it's too typical of an Edward=player story. I really don't like that word… player. I prefer the term lothario. **

**Disclaimer: SM's Edward is a virgin. My Edward loves virgins.**

* * *

The sucky thing about making a plan is the follow-through.

On, Tuesday after school I made a plan to take everyone's advice and stay the fuck away from Edward Cullen. At the time, it didn't seem like a problem. He was usually pissing me off in any way possible and making the most arrogant and disgusting comments to me. When he wasn't being such an asshat, he was at best still skating on thin ice – and usually fell through. I don't like the way he keeps several girls on the side to use whenever he pleases without giving them any sort of commitment or anything in return – besides maybe crabs or something.

On the other hand, they don't seem to mind so I guess I can't place the blame solely on Edwards's shoulders. It is still a disgusting and unhygienic habit that I'm sure will lead to more unhealthy relationship problems in the future. Even so, I knew why they wanted him so bad. The guy was fuckin' hot, no doubt. I can't even deny him that, and shit, when he kissed me – _before I came to my senses_ - I felt like I was on fire. _I wonder if that sensation is a sign of some sort of STI. Burning sensation – check. Itchiness – no. Probably not._ _Can you even get anything from kissing? _

If that was what it felt like to just kiss him… I really don't want to imagine the rest.

The biggest reason for not liking Edward: he seems completely okay with everything and shows no signs of feeling any sort of remorse, regret or wanting to change.

So, for all of those reasons coupled with my various attacks from Ho 1, Ho 2 and the rest of the greater Forks population, I see no problem with complying with everyone's wishes and keeping my interaction with Edward to the bare minimum.

Once my decision is made, I feel no sense of loss or regret for choosing to opt out of the Edward loop. That should be a sign that I'm doing the right thing. A clean break. Good thing I haven't gone far enough for the no turning back mentality.

The tricky part is Alice. I really like Alice, but she seems to have this weird idea that Edward and I would be good together or something. _Together_ together.

You can see it written all over her face whenever Edward and I are in the same vicinity of one another. It's especially apparent when something happens – like her walking in on us looking at each other in her living room, or when she saw that stupid fucking kiss. She looks smug, just like Edward.

Come to think of it, she shares a lot of similar characteristics as Edward.

And what was with her defending his whorish ways at her house the other day? Is she blind?

Jesus, that must be what Jasper meant when he said Alice has a bad role-model. So, she looks up to Edward? Maybe Alice is a bigger idiot than I thought. I hope he's not influencing her too much. That could explain the _issues_ she and Jasper have been going through. I'm sure having his girlfriend act like one of his least favorite people is killing him.

Poor Jasper.

Whatever those issues were, they seem to be over them now. Maybe they are just a hot-cold kind of couple. When it's good, it's really good; when it's bad, you feel like you are in the middle of a shit-storm.

Emmett and Rosalie don't seem to have that problem. They are a hot only couple. Hot all over the place – hot in the car before/after school, hot up against the lockers, probably all hot in some storage closets… They make me feel like a nun. Actually, anyone could probably make me feel like a nun in comparison. _Dear diary, my life is so depressing._

Anyway, with the decision to stay away from Edward made, I actually feel better. There really was nowhere to go but up after that little Jessica/Lauren showdown in the parking lot today.

Can they honestly see me as a threat?

When I got home from school, Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway.

I made my way into the house full of skepticism. Is he home early because something happened? Could he be sick? _Whoa, daughter-mode much?_

"Dad?" There is a definite undertone of worry in my voice. I can't help it. A million different horrible things are flowing through my mind as to why he's home early. _Oh god, did something happen to Renee?_

I don't hear anything, and my imagination is getting the better of me. "Dad," I say again more panicked.

"In the kitchen, Bells." He sounds fine. _Whew._ By his tone I know nothing bad could have happened.

I walk in to see him closing the fridge with a beer in hand.

"Why are you home so early? Did something happen at work?"

"Nah. I traded an afternoon shift with one of the guys. He's going out of town this weekend." He shrugs and pops open the beer before taking a long pull of the frosty beverage.

Shock is the definite emotion I feel now. "That means you are going to miss fishing this weekend. You never miss a chance to go fishing."

"I'll only be missing one day. No big deal." Leave it to Charlie to make it sound like he really doesn't care. I know he does though. He probably debated for a long time and only succumbed with substantial bribery. Nobody keeps my dad away from fishing.

"Oh."

This is another one of our infamous moments where we come face-to-face without anything to say. If there was ever any doubt about who my real father was, this moment would definitely clear that up. Neither of us are big on small talk. I think it might actually be painful if we tried to attempt it. _Yup, I am defiantly his daughter._

"Have you called your mom lately?" Perfect, an out!

"We have been emailing each other occasionally, but I probably should go call her."

I practically sprint from the room but still catch his trademark response. "Yup."

There are a lot of things that I would consider most normal teenagers to have that I don't. A cell phone is one of them. At the age of 17, when most parents insist on knowing where their children are at all time so they know they aren't getting into trouble, a cell phone is a necessity. I guess my parents never saw the point. I don't do anything. They know where I am – at home. Add one more mark to the lame column on my list.

Because of this little dilemma, I rely on the use of the most advanced kind of technology to keep in touch with my traveling mother – a calling card and a phone that has a cord that plugs into a little jack in the wall. _Blows your mind, right?_

Renee and I _have_ been emailing each other over the past week. Mainly because I have been given the luxury of dial-up internet access, but more importantly, long-distance calls and calling cards can get a little pricey. I feel like I live in 1995.

Our emails are always short. Well, mine are short. Hers usually consist of a long list of questions that she actually expects me to answer. They range from the standard, 'How is school, are you making any friends,' to the more absurd, 'Have you met any boys? Do you remember all I've taught you about safe sexual practices?'

Yes, mom. I painfully remember every detail of our safe-sex talks.

When you aren't anywhere near sexually active, they can get kind of embarrassing. I kept wanting to shout, 'Do you know who you are talking to?'

After dialing about 30 numbers plus the standard phone number, I get connected. It would be a miracle if she remembered where she put her phone, much less actually answer.

To my surprise she picks up on the second ring. "Bella!"

"Hey, mom!" Her voice triggers the worst kind of homesick feelings. We really are more like sisters – I, of course, am the older frumpy sister in this equation.

"Hey, kiddo! I'm so glad to finally hear your voice!"

"Me too, mom. How are you?"

"Oh, honey, Phil and I are just fabulous. We've been in Texas for a few days but never in the same place. Who knew the state was so big. The other day…"

I kind of tune her out. As much as I like being here with Charlie, it still hurts a little hearing how happy they are out on the road – without me.

She continues to tell me about all of the sight-seeing she gets to do in sunny Texas while I'm stuck in rainy Washington. It's not fair.

After a few more minutes of her rambling and my strategically placed 'uh huh's' she tells me she's got to go.

"Listen, Bella. I know we didn't really get to talk much about your time in Forks, but I promise I will call you later this week and we can catch up. In the meantime, I will just keep emailing you. Oh honey, I miss you so much and I love you! Phil says hi."

I can't help but get a little choked up as I reply, "I miss you and love you too. Tell Phil I say hi back."

We both hang up and the overwhelming sense of despair that I felt when I first arrived is back. My life back in Phoenix wasn't perfect, but it was comfortable. I was used to the routine, however boring it was. There is barely any sort of stability here. Maybe it will get better, but what if it doesn't?

I was wrong before, apparently my day could get worse. Charlie seemed to notice my shift in mood too. When I went back downstairs to join him for dinner he kept eyeing me with caution and sympathy. He probably knows how homesick I must feel after talking to Renee.

He didn't ask me how the phone call went. He tries not to talk about Renee much. I don't blame him, it's got to be hard.

I don't have any pressing homework to do tonight so I decide to turn in early. I've been doing that a lot lately. Forks is exhausting, and my life is depressing.

I wish Alice or Angela would spontaneously call me. I could use a friendly voice.

It's funny how my moods have become contingent upon speaking to my new friends. I kind of feels like I always need some sort of validation that I'm not alone in this – whatever this is. I don't like this feeling. I'm becoming too dependent on others to cheer me up. It was so much easier when nobody cared.

* * *

Wednesday

My mood hasn't improved from last night. I still haven't gotten a new alarm clock, so every time I wake up it's pretty much guaranteed it won't be pleasant. As always, Charlie was gone by the time I finished dressing and made my way downstairs. Two weeks ago, I would have welcomed the solitude. Today, it just seems… lonely.

I've never wanted a boyfriend so bad. At least then I would have something to look forward to during the day.

As is, I have to look forward to a lot of new dirty looks and maybe some loss of friendships that I felt fortunate to have to begin with.

Nervousness courses through me as I park my truck in the student lot at school. The rain is light but persistent – like always. Hopefully I can get through the day and rest of the week without any more setbacks.

I do have one thing to look forward to – ignoring Edward. I'll be the first to admit, the thought of not paying attention to his little antics excites me a little. From what I understand, not many girls are able to resist his charm. It doesn't hurt that by doing so, I can get some people off my back.

Who am I kidding; the damage is already done. Girls can be vicious!

_Time to face the music._ Nobody seems to be glaring at me as I walk up to the front entrance. That's a good sign.

After dropping my extra stuff at my locker, I take a moment to prepare myself for homeroom. With a deep breath and my head turned slightly down, I turn around and walk to class.

Angela is already seated, and she enthusiastically waves me over. Good, maybe Jessica hasn't started a smear campaign against me.

"Hey, girl," she offers warmly.

I let out the breath that apparently I was holding. "Hey, Angela."

We don't get to talk anymore because Jessica walks in and she still looks pissed. Angela offers me a sympathetic smile. I feel like I'm shrinking under the steadfast glare that Jessica is throwing my way. _How can she maneuver the desks without looking? I would be on my face by now if I were her._

"Hey, Angela… _Isabella."_

Angela says hi back, but I can't seem to find any words.

Lauren walks in without so much as a look at me. However, she does send a bitchy look toward Jessica, which she returns gratefully. I guess _she_ doesn't see me as a threat.

Oh, this morning is going to rock.

I'm unusually quiet this morning, even for me. I don't make an effort to speak to anybody mainly because I'm not sure who is mad at me.

Leave it to Alice to bring me out of my shell. She practically pounced on me in art class.

"So, are you going to sit with us today? Please say yes! We love having you sit at our table!"

"I don't know." Remembering my goal to stay away from Edward, I add, "I should probably sit with Angela and Jess today."

She looks sad but nods her head anyway.

Who knew Alice would be so relentless is getting me to sit with them at lunch every day. I can always hang out with her after school… when I don't have to be around her brother.

This is the only flaw in my plan. I don't want to hurt Alice's feelings but this is a minor sacrifice for the greater good.

"I'm sorry if I seem like I'm avoiding you guys. I promise I'm really not. It's just that it feels a little like I'm abandoning Angela when she's done so much to make me feel comfortable." I slump my shoulders. I realize it may seem like I'm not grateful to Alice, so I'm quick to add, "Not that you and your friends haven't been great."

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Sweet little Bella. I know what you mean, and honestly, it's totally okay. I just really like you and want to hang out with you."

I nod my head and we both go back to our paintings.

An idea pops into my head that may appease our situation.

"Hey Alice, what are you doing this weekend, cause I was reading the paper the other morning and I saw that there is going to be a local arts and music fair in Port Angeles this weekend. We could go. I think it would be so much fun. What do you think?"

She bites her lip a little and looks up at me through her eyelashes. "That does sound like fun, but… I've already got plans to be in Seattle this weekend."

I feel a little dejected even though it was a last minute idea. It's not like we had planned the excursion and she bailed on me the last minute.

I shrug my shoulders in an attempt to signify my nonchalance. "No big deal. It was just an idea."

I can tell Alice feels a little bad. She keeps looking at me like I just lost my puppy or something.

Suddenly, she gets a excitedly mischievous look in her eyes. This can't be good.

"Hey, Bella." This sounds like trouble. "I may not be able to go, but I'm sure Edward would just _love _to go with you. The whole art and music thing is right up his alley."

_For the love of all that is holy!_ That certainly won't work. My eyes are literally about to pop out of my head. I must look like one of those weird bug-eyed monkeys right now. Ha – a marmoset.

"Uh…" I drag, speaking slowly. "I really don't think that would be a good idea."

I can't tell her I'm trying to stay away from Edward. That would probably motivate her to work harder at getting us to spend time together.

In what fucked up world would Edward and I be good for each other?

She just shrugs at my admission. "We'll see what he says."

_Shit._

We go back to our work for the rest of the period, occasionally talking about random, inconsequential things.

We walk together to the lunch room, but I make my way inside as she heads to the bathroom. I bid her farewell and head to my table.

Jessica is still glaring at me as I approach.

"Hey, guys." I feel a little more than uncomfortable when she looks at me like that.

Before anyone can offer an acknowledgement of my greeting, Jessica speaks up. "Hey _Bella._ What's the matter? Not welcome at the Cullen table anymore?"

Angela offers me an apologetic smile again while the boys look like they don't know who's side they should take.

"I only sat with them one day, Jessica. It wasn't a permanent move. Besides, Alice kept asking, and I didn't want to be rude."

"Well. You wouldn't want to be rude _now_ would you. Maybe you should just go sit with your new best friends."

That is just ridiculous. Jessica is being completely unreasonable and more than a little aggravating.

"It's fine, _Jessica_. Alice understands. I'm not going anywhere."

She continued to glare at me effectively making me and everyone at the table uncomfortable.

"I don't think you understand, _Bella._"

"What don't I understand, _Jessica?"_

This was turning into a showdown worthy of a old western movie.

"Since you are _so _eager to turn you back on us, why don't you just find another place to sit."

_What?_ Eager to turn my back on them? Jesus, she is full of shit.

"Jess!" Angela chided.

"What," she replied with an innocent shrug. "She obviously would rather sit with her new best friend Alice. I'm just making it easier."

_Dumb bitch._

"You do realize that now I have no choice but to sit with the Cullen's… with Edward."

Mikes head snapped up at the realization of what I was insinuating while Jess looked pissed at both herself and me.

Obviously, I'm not really welcome at this table anymore. As I turn to walk away, Angela tries to plea. "Bella, wait."

I turn to her with understanding. "It's okay, Angela. I'm not mad."

That's all there is to say.

My pride is a little hurt as I make my way over to the Cullen-Hale table. Everybody but Alice and Edward are seated. Perfect.

I took the one empty seat next to Jasper instead of sitting in one of the two empty seats on his other side. This way Alice has no choice but to sit next to Edward instead of me. I've lost my appetite and don't really feel like going through the lunch line.

"Hey, Bells." Jasper gives me a warm welcome and a pat on the back noticing I seem a little off.

"Hey, guys." I say in a meek voice.

Alice walks up to the table with her tray looking slightly confused, but that look changes to excitement as she notices that I am indeed sitting with them at lunch. I swear, it looks like all of her dreams just came true.

"Bella! I knew you would come around!"

"I was kind of exiled from my old table." All of their heads snapped up to me with a look of worry. "I hope it's okay if I sit with you guys."

Rosalie tries to make me more comfortable. "Of course. You know you are always welcome."

Emmett looks at me strangely for a second before smirking. "So, what did ya do? It's only your second week of school. I never pegged you as a trouble maker. It's always the quiet ones."

I shrug, "Nothing, it was just a misunderstanding."

Everyone seems to get the idea that I don't really want to talk about it so the conversation is directed to more harmless subjects.

I rest my head on my hands, not feeling like being sociable.

Alice and Rosalie's heads turn when Edward strolls into the cafeteria with Lauren following him close behind like last week. _They aren't even allowed to walk next to him. How sad._

Seeing him in him usual routine only solidifies my decision to not get involved as his friend.

I looked over to Jessica and surprisingly, she seems relieved to see Edward 'with' Lauren. What did she expect? A marriage proposal from Edward when I switched tables?

As I'm glancing over, Edward pulls up the last empty seat at the table and starts to eat some fries off of Alice's tray.

"Get your own food, idiot," she says with annoyance.

"Hey, I'm hungry."

Jasper shakes his head and says under his breath, "Yeah, I'm sure you worked up quite an appetite."

Only Alice and I hear but she only shakes her head in disapproval before changing the subject.

"Hey, Edward. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Don't know, Alice." He answers with raised eyebrows. "Why don't you just go ahead and _tell me _what I will be doing this weekend?"

Oh no. Here it comes. She's meddling again.

"Oh, it's not much. There's just this really awesome art and music festival in Port Angeles this weekend that Bella _really _wants to go to, but I can't go with her because I'm going to Seattle and I thought if you weren't doing anything, you could go in my place because I would hate for her to go by herself and like I said, she _really really really_ wants to go." She topped that all too long statement off with her famous pout.

I didn't _really really really_ want to go. I just thought of it last period. _Sheesh._

"Why can't you go?" he asks incredulously.

She looks nervous and replies, "I can't. I'm going shopping this weekend in Seattle."

"Oh, is Jasper going with you?" By the way he asked, it seems as if he knew Jasper wasn't going but wanted to put Alice on the spot.

Before Jasper could reply, she curtly spat, "No. Jasper hates shopping."

Edward rolls his eyes.

Jasper looked a little hurt like he might actually want to go, but she didn't give him an option.

"Well then. Jasper, are _you_ up for it? That is if you aren't already doing anything." I ask in an attempt to save myself from a possible one-on-one outing with Edward. I take a peek out of the corner of my eye to see that Edward is frowning.

"Sure." He replies in a sad tone.

"I'll go too." Edward speaks up.

I looked to him. He shrugs. "What? I don't have anything else going on. Sounds decent enough."

I turn to Jasper and he just shrugs, probably not wanting to start a fight.

So I was going to an art festival with Jasper and Edward this weekend. How fun…

* * *

Today, in Biology, we are prepping for our second dissection, but all we really have to do is get our supplies in order and finish some worksheets. Easy enough. We both finish with plenty of time left before the bell is supposed to ring.

This is uncomfortable. Normally, we would make small talk if there were extra time, but I'm trying to stick to my guns here. Instead, I keep my head down and start to doodle of the edge of my notebook.

"Are you really looking forward to the festival this weekend or was it one of Alice's crazy ideas that she roped you into?" I look up to see Edward turned toward me with is head propped up on his hand.

He _did _ask me a question. It would be rude not to answer. I wonder how honest I should be with him. Sure, I thought of going as a way to spend time with his sister, but I really did want to go now. It didn't even cross my mind that I could go when I first saw it advertised because I didn't have anyone _to go with_.

"Actually, I am kind of looking forward to it." He hasn't started making fun of me yet, so I feel more comfortable talking about it. "My mom and I used to go to those kinds of things all the time. It was something we did together – just the two of us. I don't know, I guess I would like to do something that used to be so normal to me. There isn't much _normalcy_ for me here. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. I've never actually been to one of those."

"Then why did you agree to go?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I don't ever get to just hang out with people. I thought it might be fun."

I get what he is implying. His version of hanging out usually involves a skanky girl and part of him _actually _hanging out. I never see him with anyone besides his family though. I wonder if he actually has any _real_ friends.

"Okay, but why did you agree to go after Jasper said he would? I kind of get the impression that you two don't like each other." _Yeah, and Jasper straight up told me he didn't like your ass._

He doesn't say anything for a moment but then that stupid smirk graces his face. He leans forward, so close his lips are practically touching my ear and whispers in that velvety voice, "Despite what you may think, I can behave myself, Bella."

His hand that was previously propping his head up gently lands on my thigh. My heartbeat increases as he continues to breath in my ear – not moving an inch away. "You have nothing to worry about."

_Oh Edward, I'm afraid when it comes to you, I have plenty to worry about._

He moves back to his original position but not before playfully tugging on the end of my hair.

In a desperate attempt to compose myself and relieve this awkward tension I try to make small talk. Something I really hate doing.

"So, what is it in Seattle that keeps Alice so busy?"

He raises an eyebrow at my question. "The usual, shopping and stuff. Some of our friends from Forks who have already graduated live up there too. I don't really know."

She has friends in Seattle? That would make sense. I mean the girl goes there practically every weekend, I wouldn't expect her to hang out alone.

"Why doesn't Jasper ever go with her?"

He looks uncomfortable with the direction my questions are taking. "I guess Alice likes to pretend she is more grown up than she really is."

"What does that have to do with Jasper not going?" I ask slightly confused by what he's saying.

"I don't know. Alice will be Alice," he rushes. "So, if the three of us are going to Port Angeles this weekend, whose car should we take? I personally think I should drive. Jasper drives like a grandma, and I've seen your ride. No offense but I think we would have to leave right after school on Friday if we would want to make it in time."

His dig at my beloved truck doesn't really do a great job of dissuading my curiosity with the whole Alice and Jasper situation, but I figure I'm not going to get much out of him.

"Yeah, I guess you should drive. Just check with Jasper first."

"Maybe you should check with him."

It's my turn to smirk. "No way. If you want to show me you can behave, talking to Jasper is the first step." He glares playfully at me. "I trust you will have the accommodations taken care of by this weekend."

"Can't we just go alone?" He whines.

"No," I say sternly.

"But Bella," he says still whining, "Jasper's not really my friend, _you _are my friend. I would rather just go with you."

_Friends… shit._ I am supposed to be ignoring him and here I have having a casual conversation with the devil himself, making plans to go on a trip this weekend like _friends_ would. I really am horrible at following through with things.

I laugh nervously. "Too bad, I already invited him. Jasper is my friend. It would be rude to ditch him, so buck up and talk to him about the car situation." _Besides, you are the one who would be ditched if it came down to it. _Although, if he behaves himself like he says he will, I can honestly see this weekend as being fun.

"Whatever," he mumbles.

**

* * *

**

Jasper and I were standing by my truck in the emptying parking lot after school when Angela called out from behind me. I turn to look at her jogging up. "Bella! Wait up."

She approaches me slightly out of breath.

I think Jasper is used to people catching me after school, so he makes himself scarce.

She takes the place of where Jasper was standing and half-collapses/half-leans up against my hood."What's up Angela?"

"I just wanted to apologize." She huffs still trying to catch her breath.

"What for?" She didn't do anything wrong.

"For the way Jessica has been acting, for not sticking up for you more at lunch… for all of it."

"I'm not mad at you. I just don't know what I did to piss her off so much."

Angela rolls her eyes. "She's just jealous"

"Of what? Of me talking to Edward? For the thousandth time, we are just friends." _Friends_. There is that word again.

"I know, it's just that… and this may sound really stupid, but the Cullen-Hale table is sorta invite only, but nobody has ever actually been invited. She's jealous that you get to sit there and she doesn't."

"That's not my problem," I huff in annoyance. Jessica is the one who practically drove me to sit with them today anyway.

"No, it's not," she says gravely.

"I swear, nothing is going on." I shouldn't have to defend myself, especially to Angela, but for some reason I care what she thinks of me.

"I know that. It was kind of funny when you pointed out that she basically sent you to the place she wants you to avoid." She giggles at the memory of Jessica's face at lunch.

"I thought you would be mad at me for that," I admit. "You were one of the people who told me to stay away from Edward in the first place. I just thought that you would think I was trying to… _seduce _him as crazy as that may sound."

"Look, Bella. Everyone knows Edward's rep. We all know that Jess, Lauren and the others are basically idiots for feeding into that. That's their problem, like you said, not yours. If you want to sit there, I'm fine with it. If you want to be friends with Edward, I'm fine with that too. I think it will be good for him. He doesn't really have any _girl_ friends aside from Alice and that doesn't really count because they are family."

Wow.

"Thanks Angela." I don't really know what to say. I thought out of all people, she would keep warning me to stay away for the right reasons, and here she is telling me I would be good for him? Talk about crazy.

"Besides, it doesn't really matter what the other girls think. If they try to get to you, just say 'screw them'."

I'm completely shocked that came out of her mouth. Angela just doesn't seem the type to say that kind of stuff.

I appreciate her so much more now. I look up to her with an much sincerity as I can muster and say, "Just so you know, it's not that I would rather sit with them. I liked sitting with you guys. I just don't think I'm welcome anymore."

"You're probably right." The sympathy is clearly written in her eyes. "Thanks"

"For what?"

"For still wanting to hang out with me despite Jessica's attitude."

"You are the first and best friend I've made here, of course I still want to hang out with you."

It was the truth too, but damn, I was turning into my worst nightmare – a gushy hormonal teenage girl. Is there anything worse? Next thing you know I'm going to start throwing around the word 'girlfriend' and carrying an oversize bag in the crook of my elbow while wearing sunglasses that cover half of my face despite the fact that Forks has no sun. Ooo, maybe I can get one of those purse dogs and name it something entirely too cute like Snookie. _Getting a little carried away?_

Ugh, if I ever get like that, I'm giving Charlie my full permission to shoot me, but not before signing a DNR form.

She smiles as me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Bella… and just ignore Jessica if she keeps acting that way."

"Will do."

She says goodbye and rushes off to catch up with Ben so they can leave.

_Hmm. Angela practically just gave me her blessing to befriend Edward._

Fuck it. Decision made. I can associate with whoever I want. Angela is clearly going to be my friend, and I have the Cullens and Hales. Who needs Jessica and her bitchy attitude? Lauren doesn't care about me being friends with Edward; she basically told me she just wanted to warn me about how he could be. Big deal, I already know how he is.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward's velvety voice purrs in my ear causing me to jump slightly.

I turn my head and Edward is practically pressed up to me. My breath catches and I'm reminded of the way he talked to me in Biology today.

How did he manage to sneak up like that?

"Nothing," I stammer. "I wasn't really thinking about anything. Just lost… in thought I guess."

"You looked like you were concentrating pretty hard," he replies with that smirk.

"Did you want something?"

My question seems to amuse him for a moment. "Just wanted to tell you I officially asked Jasper if I could drive this weekend." He looks proud of himself for something so trivial.

"That's great, Edward." I give him a pat on the back playing into his pride. "Did he agree?"

"Of course he did!" He reaches up to put a strand of hair behind my ear. "I always get what I want," he says while focusing on his hand, which is now playing with the end of the same strand.

"Okay, so…" he still seems to be mesmerized by my hair and it's making me a little uncomfortable – in a not so pure way. I need to get out of here. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

He looks into my eyes this time. "Tomorrow," he whispers before leaning forward and gently kissing my forehead.

I'm left stunned as he walks around me in the direction of his car.

So, staying away from Edward was a bust.

New goal: become friends with Edward. If I become his friend, I can't do anything stupid right? And Jesus, if he keeps acting like that, I'm toast.

**

* * *

**

Jessica ignored me or did her best to intimidate me the rest of the week. On Thursday, she was the one who walked behind Edward during lunch. I guess the schedule of girls was back in full swing.

Angela talks to me but only when Jessica isn't around. I can tell she feels obligated to both me and Jessica and it seems to be a little too much for her at times. I wish Jessica would grow up and stop acting like I'm out to steal her man. Doesn't she know what this whole thing is doing to her supposed best friend?

Not to mention Mike. Poor Mike. I think he dies a little each time he has to see her take the walk of shame during lunch, which is probably why Mike found me before school on Friday to tell me he thinks Cullen and I would make a 'cute couple'. _Really?_ He was practically dripping with desperation when he said this. I'm sure if he thinks Edward and I get closer, Jessica will magically wake up and finally return the feelings Mike has been throwing at her for God knows how long.

Last week, the world was all about me staying away from Edward. This week it seems they've all changed their minds.

Even Jasper is excited about this weekend. Who knew he would be thrilled about anything involving Edward?

Maybe I'm just too new here to get the big picture.

* * *

By the time Saturday got here, I was nervous about how the day would progress.

Charlie was actually here this morning. He has to make up his shift that he missed the other day.

At breakfast I caught him eyeing his fishing pole that was propped up next to the front door. I could tell it was killing him not being out on the water like he normally is by this time.

"Got any plans this weekend?" He asks after a rather long gaze at his gear.

"Actually, I'm going to Port Angeles with a few friends to that art festival." I haven't bothered to tell him yet because it slipped my mind that he would actually be here today.

"Who are you going with?"

"Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen?" It came out as a rather meek question.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I never thought I'd see the day those two boys would be doing anything together."

Wow, even my dad knows the latest on my friends. I never would have pegged him for the gossipy type.

"Well, be careful. I haven't had any trouble out of the two of them besides Edward's occasional speeding ticket."

"Yeah, they seem like good kids." _As if I'm not a kid myself._

"It's the other Cullen kid I've had some issues with."

"Emmett?" I can't imagine Emmett being involved in anything serious. Sure, the occasional prank maybe, but he seems like a pretty straight laced guy.

"No, the girl."

"Alice?" Seriously? Alice Cullen? I know I sound completely shocked. What could she have done?

"That's the one."

"What did she do?" I know it's a long shot trying to get information out of him, but I have to ask.

"Just caught her in some _compromising_ positions in places she shouldn't have been."

I giggle at the thought. Poor Charlie. He caught Alice and Jasper in _compromising_ positions.

Charlie heads off to work a few minutes before both Jasper and Edward pull up to my house. We agreed to meet here before we leave even though it would have been just as easy for Edward to pick Jasper up on his way over. I really didn't want the two of them to be left alone.

The doorbell rings, and when I open the door to leave I am met with a smiling Edward and a less than enthusiastic Jasper.

"Hey guys! I'm ready. Let's get going."

Edward ushers the way with a wave of his hand. "After you."

Both Jasper and Edward reach for the passenger side door in an attempt to open it for me. Edward is just a little quicker and is practically gloating with the smile he's got.

Jasper just rolls his eyes and moves to get in the back.

Within five minutes of the drive, Jasper is out cold, slightly snoring in the back seat, which leaves Edward and I essentially alone.

I still don't know him that well to be able to bring up random conversation, so I settle on listing to the music on the stereo and looking out my window.

"So," Edward begins a few minutes later. "I did a little research and found out there are going to be some pretty cool jazz bands that I want to check out."

"Sounds good," I smile at him and then yawn. It is a little early to be up on a Saturday.

"You tired?" He questions.

"A little. I think my body knows it's Saturday and I should still be in bed."

He chuckles at my admission. "Why don't you take a little nap. That way you won't be dead on your feet the whole day."

"Okay. You don't mind both of us sleeping?" It's a better alternative than the awkward forced conversation I'm sure we would be attempting otherwise.

"I'll be okay. I'll just wake you when we get there."

"Thanks." I angle my body toward my window and curl up. Not two minutes pass before I'm out.

I'm woken up with a slight tug of my hair. I sit up and Edward points out the front window. "We're here."

I turn around to wake Jasper, but he's not there.

Edward can see my confusion. "He woke up a few minutes ago and had to pee. He should be on his way to the bathroom."

"Ahh." We get out and meet in front of the car. Edward puts his arm around my shoulder and points us in the direction of the public bathrooms.

While we are waiting for Jasper to _finish_, he asks me what I want to do. "Anything in particular you want to see today?"

I bite my lip and look up at him. "Unlike you, I didn't actually do any research about what's here. Just wanted to wander around a bit I guess."

"That's sounds fine." His arm is still lazily draped around my shoulder. I can't help but notice that his hand is limply dangling just a few inches in front of my right breast. _Hmm, I wonder if I arch my back a little… BAM! I could check the booby touching off my list._ NO, I'm not going there!

It's a good thing Jasper chose to make his way out of the bathroom at that moment. If not, I would have willingly used Edward's hand for a very selfish and childish goal.

Jasper takes in our appearance with a slight head shake. "So, where to?"

We decided to check out some of the art exhibits first and then make our way to food and lastly the music.

Every kind of art was on display today. There were art fair exhibits from the local elementary school kids, general art displays from armature artists and even some displays from local professional artists that were up for auction.

We 'oo'd' and 'ahh'd' over the ones we liked and pretended like we could do better than the ones we didn't.

Around noon, we made our way over to the food vendors and stuffed our faces with fried delicacies and generally unhealthy fair food.

Edward and Jasper were actually getting along great. They were laughing and slapping each other's back like they had been best friends for years.

They both tried to put their foot down when I saw one of those goofy circus-themed painted scenes with the face cutouts that you could pose behind, but I was persistent and won in the end.

We are now the proud owner of a picture of me as one of those strong-men guys, Jasper as a ballerina and Edward as a little poodle in a skirt balancing on its hind legs on a striped ball.

They made me promise to never show it to anyone. I agreed because I know they really didn't want to do it in the first place, but come on, it's fucking hilarious.

All was going well as we wandered around the small music stages. If you stood in the middle you could hear them all at once, so you have to get as close as possible to each stage in order to drown out the other musicians.

We were listing to a really great jazz band that Edward mentioned earlier when I thought of how much fun it would be if Alice were here to enjoy this with us.

"I hope Alice is having fun shopping in Seattle. Too bad she couldn't be here."

"This isn't really Alice's scene." Jasper replied with a light smile.

"Oh, I bet she is having a _great_ time in Seattle though." Edward mumbled under his breath.

Jasper looked at Edward strangely who seemed completely oblivious. He was still focused on the band.

"What's that's supposed to mean?" Jasper asked with a slight edge.

Edward's eyes widened slightly before he collected himself. "Uh, nothing. I'm sure she's just having fun shopping and getting pampered and all that shit. You know, the stuff she usually does."

Jasper continued to stare at Edward for a few more moments before he let it go and refocused his attention on the jazz band.

The atmosphere was suddenly a little heavier than before.

We were pretty much silent for the rest of the set.

After we had our fill of music, we decided to head back to Forks. It was getting late and the greasy fair food was slowing us down a bit.

Jasper passed out again almost immediately after the car started. That boy sure does love to sleep.

Edward and I were quiet. I pulled out the picture that we took earlier and giggled. This is so getting framed.

"So, was this as good as the fairs you went to with your mom?"

I looked over to Edward who seemed anxious about my response.

"Actually, it was probably better. I guess it's different when you go with friends than when you go with a parent."

His eyebrows creased slightly. "You never went with your friends before?"

This was a hard question, and it was clear I was stalling when I turned my head to look out my window.

"Well, that's the thing. I didn't have that many friends." I felt like a loser admitting that to Edward. "I mean I had a few friends, more like acquaintances, but not anybody close enough to do stuff like this."

Realizing just how lonely I was in Phoenix is depressing. I keep my head turned away from Edward so he doesn't see the frown on my face.

I feel a tug on the bottom of my hair and turn to look at him.

He brushes my hair behind my ear and rests his hand on my shoulder with a few strands still intertwined in his fingers. "Hey, don't be upset. I'm not exactly overflowing with friends either."

He frowns as his admission, removes his hand and places it back on the wheel. "I guess, outside of my family, you pretty much are my only friend."

_Wow._ This is like one of those _Lifetime_ moments when the two outcast kids find solace in each other. Still, I feel honored that he considers me his friend. As touching as the moment is, I can't handle the sentimental stuff very long. "So, does this like make us best friends or something?"

He chuckles before peeking at me with that cute smirk. "I guess it does."

I think we are both feel like the atmosphere has become too heavy, so we start to talk about the stupid and funny things that happened today. Talking to Edward is surprisingly easy. All too soon, he's pulling up in my driveway.

I turn around to reach in the back seat to wake Jasper, but Edward stops me.

He is looking at me like he has something to say but can't quite find the words. After a few moments of biting his lip he meets my eyes. "I had a great time today. Believe it or not, I even had a good time with the shithead in the backseat."

I laugh and reply honestly, "I had a great time too."

He moves closer and pulls me into a hug while running his hand lightly through my hair. "Thank you," he whispers in my ear. I hear all of what he is thanking me for by his tone. Thanks for the trip, for giving me a chance, and thanks for being my friend.

He kissed my ear and tightens his hug one last time before letting go and moving back.

I smile at him again.

We wake Jasper up who seems to be completely disoriented mumbling stuff about how he just wants to sleep.

After we make sure he gets to his car and is awake enough to drive, Edward gets back in his car, and I head to my front door. I turn around one last time to see him wave and wink at me before he backs out and drives away.

Could it be that Edward wasn't so bad after all?

**

* * *

**

School on Monday seemed a little better.

I ignored Jessica who was ignoring me in a way that really can't be considered ignoring at all.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was looking forward to sitting at the Cullen-Hale table. There was no longer anything keeping me away. Edward and I were _friends_.

Alice and Jasper seem to be back to the cold portion of their cycle. She seemed to have a short temper any time Jasper opened his mouth.

_Everything seemed fine on Friday._

What could have happened between now and then? Nothing. She was in Seattle all weekend. They didn't even see each other until this morning I assume.

But all of that didn't matter to me because Edward came directly to lunch today. Edward sat by me and tugged my hair before draping his arm around me. I didn't notice if any of his prostitutes were glaring at me.

It was as if I were seeing him in a new light. I no longer forced myself to associate bad things with Edward, because I no longer had a reason to stay away from him.

You know how they say guys are so perverted because every time they see a girl putting anything near their mouth they automatically imagine other things that mouth could be doing? Total Freud shit. Well, damn it all to hell. I must be the most perverted person. The problem is, when you kiss Edward Cullen, you are let into this sort of secret society. _Although it's not exactly exclusive_. A society that knows exactly what those lips are capable of. You start to imagine that an apple he eats at lunch could be replaced with your neck. The way his lips lazily follow the movement of his teeth – dragging across the skin – dripping wet. _Ugh_. Or the way he pursues his lips when he's thinking. Or how instead of using chapstick, he has this incredibly sexy habit of licking his lips before sucking on them. It was because of this new found friendship that I even allowed myself to thing back to the day he first kissed me. Yeah. I know what _those lips_ can do.

It was during this insane musing that I might have come to the conclusion that I have the tiniest bit of a fragment of a crush on Edward - my new best friend.

* * *


	7. Healing You, Healing Me pt1

Ch. 7 – Healing You, Healing Me

So sorry it took me this long to come out with it. Little to no motivation left when I start school, but I'm settled now, so ONWARD HO!

P.S. This is only the first half of the original Ch. 7. I decided to split it up because I haven't updated in a while and it seemed like an okay stopping point. I will try to have the rest of the chapter up by tomorrow or the next day.

Thank you, reviewers! Thank, you readers!

**Disclaimer: Thank you, Stephenie Meyer!**

**

* * *

**

BPOV

Okay, so I definitely have more than a little crush on Edward.

I don't know how the hell he does it.

One moment I'm completely repulsed by his skanky attitude and his general pompous shitheadedness and the next thing I know, I'm noticing little things about him that drive me crazy… down there.

My main thrill comes from the little touches he graces me with. I know it's only been a few weeks since I've moved here, but I feel like I've been here long enough to get the gist of who he is with and how he acts around them. And, I've _never_ seen him treat them the way he treats me. I know, I know. I haven't actually _done_ anything with Edward, besides the infamous kiss that I took for granted, but he's doesn't seem completely cold to the idea of messing around with me in that way.

His hand is usually always in my hair in one way or another – absentmindedly twisting a strand between his fingers while we sit together, running his hand through my hair while he talks to me. Come to think of it, he seems to have a little bit of an obsession with my hair. Sometimes when we are sitting close together, _and his arm is usually draped across my shoulder_, he will pull me closer and bury his face in my hair.

It's not just that though. There are other sorts of touches.

Edward has taken up the duty of driving me to and from school every morning. _If only Alice weren't always in the back seat. Doesn't she have a boyfriend to drive her?_ He says he does it because he doesn't trust my truck, but he knows damn well that while my truck may be old, it's nothing if not reliable.

I've been spending a lot of time at the Cullen house after school. Most of the time we aren't alone, but the times we are aren't uncomfortable at all. It seems to have become a tradition for us to plop down on the couch right after school with drinks and snacks while we talk about our day or days to come. The first day this happened, he sat on the couch while I debated between the seat next to him on the couch or the over-sized chair to the right. As if he were anxious for me to relax with him, he eagerly patted the space next to him, and I being the great _friend_ that I am, dutifully obliged. As soon as I got comfortable, he reached forward and grabbed my legs before swinging them over his lap.

The rest of our time on the couch was spent with me reclining on the arm of the sofa while Edward sensually rubbed my ankles. Mmmm, delicious torture.

I know these kinds of things may not seem like a big deal, but come on! This is Edward we are talking about. Besides the fact that it is completely out of character for him to show any sort of affection toward girls, I think any touch would be considered downright sinful when it comes from his magical hands.

I know I must blush like crazy when he does it. Jesus, I feel like I might burst into flames at any moment.

Alice's plan to make me her new best friend has sort of backfired. While I am spending more time with her, I'm also spending more time with her brother. Some days I can tell she's torn between pushing us together and keeping me all to herself.

She seems to get a huge kick out of my reaction to Edward.

I know he probably sees his actions as completely innocent, but I sure as hell don't, and that meddling she-devil knows it.

Alice can be downright wicked. It's small things she does to embarrass me or get a reaction out of me, and she always gets this evil smirk on her face when she does it. That's how I know it's intentional. For instance, she will ask Edward, not me, to pass her the pepper at dinner even though the pepper is on the _other_ side of me and he has to reach across me to get it. I can't really complain though; it just means we get to be closer.

Jasper, on the other hand, is completely annoyed with my new-found best-friendship. Sure, ever since our little outing to Port Angeles a few weekends ago he and Edward have been getting along much better, but he still isn't won over completely. His disapproval usually comes in the form of playful teasing. Sometimes he's as bad as Alice. If we are all together and Edward leaves the room for a moment, they both team up on me turning back to the innocent beings they pretend to be as soon as he comes back in the room.

You would think Jasper's new semi-alliance with Edward would bring him closer to Alice because that seems to be a main topic of argument between the two, but things haven't really improved. If anything, they've only gotten worse.

She hasn't been here the past few weekends either. If I were them, I would seriously do some sort of inventory check on the relationship and see if it is even worth doing anymore. Well… I think Jasper should do it. Alice seems to be perfectly content with berating him every chance she gets.

It took me a while to notice this too. I admit, for a few days after my self-discovery, I was a bit… preoccupied - in a fog, if you will, but their problems slowly crept their way into my attention.

The thing is, I can't help but hate Alice a little whenever they fight. It's pretty damn obvious to any moron that she is being less than fair. It makes _everyone_ uncomfortable. Emmett and Rosalie, who are usually tongue deep in a conversation at lunch, have actually started joining out conversations just to give Jasper a break from Alice's tirades. You know it's bad when Emmett starts to appear like the rational twin. She just snaps at him – all the damn time! The worst part is that he just takes it.

I haven't gotten the balls to talk to him about it. I really don't know if he would shut me out. He made it fucking clear when I first met him that he doesn't want other people to place the blame on his precious Alice. Who the fuck is in the wrong here then? Alice for being a torrential bitch to her boyfriend who adores her, or Jasper for being the pussywhiped little bitch who takes it all and snaps at other people for trying to help? _Fucked. Up._

Whatever. I tolerate it because nobody seems to want anything to change and my friendship with Alice and Jasper allows me to get closer to Edward. I know, I'm a pretty shitty person.

I had a renewed sense of hope for the two of them one Monday when school was abuzz about an upcoming party being thrown by a nameless junior whose only real social claim was that he has a petty sweet house and parents who loved to travel. Riley something-or-other. I had never even heard of him until Alice mentioned the party.

That's just what the two of them need. Some good old fashion carefree drinking followed by the American teenager's favorite high school activity – drunk sex. I normally wouldn't condone that kind of behavior, but I honestly think it may be the last hope for the two.

Alice has told me that she _never_ misses a Forks party as they are premier social events which means she will definitely be there as in will be in Forks and not Seattle. If she is in Forks, Jasper will be by her side, and everyone knows a drunk person is a happy person, right?

I've never actually been drunk myself; before now, I've never had anyone to get drunk with. Just one more reminder of how truly pathetic I really am underneath it all.

Anyway, everyone seemed excited about the prospect of having something to do two weekends from now. It will be my first official high school party. I hope my naivety about the inner workings of a _drunk fest, _as Emmett affectionately dubbed it, doesn't show too much. Hey, I can be cool, right? I'm a mellow yet hip person.

That right there should show you how much trouble I'm in. I just referred to myself using words I'm sure were popular when my mother was young enough to attend such things.

Why can't I just be a normal teenager?

* * *

It was this same week on Wednesday that I was sitting in Edward's room trying to muster the courage to just fucking ask him why he does the things he does.

Ever since our little friend pact, we have pretty much spent most of our free time together – with the exception of when he's off with one of his prostitutes.

That's right! He hasn't stopped seeing any of them – at all. I admit, the frequency has seemed to slow down a bit, but he is by all means still stringing them along. At first, I thought maybe our new relationship would be enough to get him to stop – you know, if he has me to keep him company then he wouldn't seek out distraction in other ways. _Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong…_

The first time he showed up late to lunch with that bitch Mallory hot on his heels almost crushed me, but he acted as if it were no big deal. When he came in with Jessica the next day – devastated. I can't believe I was actually considering being her friend in the beginning. Jess was the worst. She always smirks at me whenever she follows Edward into the cafeteria. She also goes out of her way to talk about how great of a lover he is when I'm within hearing range. _Whore._ Why can't I just be enough?

I wanted to know, but I couldn't just come out and ask him. He knows me well enough by now to see through something like that. He would probably laugh at me and send me on my way.

I was watching him play around on his computer while I flipped through a magazine on his couch not really paying attention to the content. I just wanted a cover for my shameless ogling. How to ask him… how to ask him. Maybe it would be best if I just threw a few names out there. I suddenly remembered something that happened in first period the other day that would be a great start.

"Did you hear about what happened in homeroom English the other day?"

He doesn't stop what he's doing on his computer but manages to mumble a "no."

I took it as my cue to set him up further.

"Jessica and Lauren totally got in to a full-on cat fight. Jess walks into the room right before the bell rings and must have said something to Lauren as she passed her to get to her seat because next thing you know, Lauren is fuming and shit. She gets out of her desk, walks up to Jess, whose back is still turned to her, reaches up and literally pulls out an entire fist-full of hair. Jess is wailing like an angry cat, turns around slaps Lauren before they both tackle each other and roll around in the aisles. Mason walks in breaks them up and sends them to the office, but _of course,_they get off with only two days of detention. Un-fucking-believable." I finish my tirade in hopes that it sets something off inside of him. I kind of wish he would say something like, 'man, I don't know why I put up with those two.'

He just drops his head and shakes it a little before going back to whatever he was doing. _Hmmm, well that didn't work_.

I was trying to come up with something else to bait him with when he finally spoke up. "No one ever accused them of being ladies." _That's it?_

"Yeah, they are both total skanks." I try to say nonchalantly.

Edward finally looked up expressionlessly at me through his eyelashes, probably wondering where the hell I was going with this. I was treading on thin ice with this topic and I knew it, but unfortunately, I hadn't planned ahead enough to come up with something else to say, so I just blurted out the first thing on my mind.

"Why do you mess around with all those girls?"

He freezes for a moment before collecting himself. "Why do you care?" He asked with a smirk.

In an attempt to convey nonchalance, I shrugged, but I'm pretty sure my curiosity seemed a little too eager to come from someone who wanted to be _just friends._

Edward stood up and stalked across the room until he was standing directly in front of me. I had to crane my neck upward to see him leering down. His arms were crossed and he had a pouty expression on his face as if he were deep in thought. He cocked his head to the side and continued to look at me for a moment before he held his right hand out to me.

My heartbeat increased dramatically and I'm sure my face was reddening by the second.

"What?" I asked nervously? My attention was brought to his hand that was inches in front of my face. What was he doing? What did he want from me?

He impatiently jutted his hand a little further in front of me. Slowly, because I had no fucking clue what he wanted, I brought my hand up to his.

When he deemed my attempt suitable enough, he closed the distance and tightly grasped my hand before taking a step back and tugging me to my feet.

I still had no idea what was going on. _Oh, to be able to know what goes through that boy's head._

Ever so slowly, he started backing up, pulling me along with him.

My nerves were a total wreck and I was having one of those fight-or-flight moments. My eyes kept darting from his bedroom door back to his face.

He smiled at my nervousness and lazily chuckled.

A little aggravated that he found my frazzle amusing I asked him again, "What?"

"I'm tired. I want to take a nap," he said with that delicious pout in full effect. The boy was almost a legal adult – he shouldn't still be able to pull it off, but he does. Instead of being annoying, like it would be with any other teenager, his pouting was endearing. My earlier thoughts of getting information out of him were hastily thrown aside. _Oh, he's good._

"I'm not tired," I tried to mimic his pout but I'm sure mine came off as just plain whiny and babyish.

"Will you lay down with me?" he asked while looking up at me through his eyelashes. I should have laughed at his request. It was honestly one step away from 'will you tuck me in?'

"I'm not going anywhere near your bed. I don't want to know what's gone on there." I shuddered at the thought. Who knows how often he washes his sheets, and I'm sure there are stains that a load of bleach won't even get out.

He rolled his eyes at my admonition. "Nothing." There is a clear undertone of annoyance in his voice, but I have no idea what he is talking about. _Nothing? Nothing what?_

"What?"

He pulled me closer to him until he is able to lean down next to my ear. "Nothing… has happened in that bed." He uses his free hand to point to the offending object.

"Edward," I say in my best are-you-shitting-me tone with my eyebrows pulled together in disbelief . I'm not stupid. I know about his reputation. How dumb does he think I am, or is he just trying to hide it from me because he thinks I will most likely not approve after my little attack on his two main bitches?

"I swear. I've never brought a girl to my bed." There is no dishonesty in his voice or his appearance. There is not really any kind of emotion there. Just a statement of fact.

"I'm… confused."

"What is there to be confused about?"

I continued to look blankly at him. I still don't believe him. My eyebrows rise as if to challenge his statement.

He takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. "I've," he grabs my hand tighter, "_never_," he says as he starts walking backward, gently tugging me along while steadfastly gazing into my eyes, "_had_ a girl," his knees hit the mattress and he sits on the edge with my hand still firmly in his, "in this bed." With those final words, he lets go of my hand reaches up and grabs my hips before gently guiding me down next to him. When I'm finally seated, he scoops me up, turns around and places me in the center of his warm, cushy bed. Edward stands up, reaches behind him to tug off his shirt and joins me while pulling the blanked folded at the foot of the bed up around us.

Once he is settled, he turns to me, pulling me close to him, kisses my forehead and whispers, "until now." His drawn out sentiment is finished off with a devilish smirk.

I don't really know what to say. My mouth is hanging open ever so slightly in total shock from both what he just said and the fact that we are under the covers of his bed, pressed close together and he's not wearing a shirt!

_Holy freaking fuck! I'm the first girl to be in Edward Cullen's bed!_

He continued to smirk at me as he draped one of his arms loosely across my hip before pulling me closer. Both of my arms were drawn to my chest, trapped between my body and his shirtless chest. I could literally stick my tongue out and lick him. Is it bad that _that_ was one of my first thoughts?

I still hadn't said anything, and my heartbeat was only getting more embarrassing. He must have noticed because he chuckled before saying, "Calm down. Try to get some sleep."

Because I couldn't put a sentence together and because my brain and body were at war, I lamely squeaked out, "okay."

He laughed again before burying his head further in his pillow.

_How can I fucking sleep at a time like this?_

I did manage to doze off for a few moments here and there, but I kept being jolted awake by the excited energy flowing through me. It didn't hurt at all that every time this happened, Edward would tighten his hold on me and readjust.

Occasionally, he would grind up against me slightly letting out the sexiest of moans. He was definitely turning me on, but I just didn't have the heart to wake him. _Okay, there was no way in hell I would wake him._ I may be too chicken shit to initiate anything and some may see this as taking advantage of him while he was sleeping, but hey, I'll take what I can get. If he wants to use me like a stripper pole, who am I to complain? _I wonder if he would freak out if he woke up with a bunch of $1 bills tucked into his waistband._

After maybe an hour of this, he started to mumble in his sleep. At first, it was just random nonsensical noise with a few intelligible words here and there, but then it changed. It was just after one of my recent awakenings. I was furiously trying to memorize every detail of Edwards's body. _Hey, who knew when I would get this chance again? Pathetic? Maybe._ Anyway, I had pulled back a bit to study his face and he shifted again. He pulled me as close as possible to him and buried his face in my hair. I admit, I was thrilled. It had to be a sign, and unconscious sign. That is until he inhaled deeply, exhaled and mumbled, "Victoria," with a deep sigh.

I froze. Victoria? Who _the hell_ was this Victoria that would intrude on our nap? I've never heard her mentioned before. I was angry and jealous with no real right to be.

She could just be a random girl from school, but as I said, I've never heard of her before this. That would mean that he is dreaming of her while he is cuddled up next to me. I felt sick and hurt.

I couldn't be here anymore. I couldn't chance him talking more in his sleep. What if he started talking about _her_ again? Why couldn't he have just said 'Bella?' I swear, I would have given it all up right then and there if he had. But the fact that he whispered someone else's name? The thought literally hurt me.

I made the decision to leave without trying to wake him. I slowly started to untangle myself from his firm hold. He resisted and pulled me tighter. _Okay, this isn't going to be easy._ With a deep breath and a strong desire to get the fuck out of there, I tried again with more success. This time I was able to back up slowly. The hand of the arm that was draped across my hip was dragged across my back and then slid down my hip and across my slightly exposed stomach. I couldn't help but stop for a second and relish in the feeling of his hand on my bare skin, but the moment passed and my objective came back into the forefront. As his hand hit the mattress, I saw his eyes scrunch together while he bunched the blanket up and pulled it to him – to the place where I used to be. He settled back down and continued to snooze peacefully – completely unaware of the amount of pain he caused me.

I backed up away from the bed until my back bumped into the wall. Continuing to look at him while trying not to cry, I inched my way toward his door and reached for the handle. With one last look, I turned around and crept out of his room.

I wanted to make it out of the house before I completely lost it, but was distracted when I heard someone in the kitchen. Thinking it may be a better idea for me to stick around and distract myself, I headed that way.

Rosalie and Alice were sitting at the counter talking when I walked in. They were both flipping through catalogues and pointing out things they just had to have for this season. _Perfect. Just what I need to clear my head._

I walked up to the empty seat beside Rose before sitting down with a huff. "Hey, girls."

Rose gave me a strange look while Alice peeked out from behind her with enthusiasm. "Hey, Bella! I'm so glad you decided to join us!"

Mustering every bit of energy I had left, I gave her a tight smile.

Rose wasn't convinced though. "What's up your ass?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Huh? Nothing. Just woke up… I'm a little out of it."

Alice grinned. "Just woke up, huh? Would you have been napping with one of my brothers? Hmmm?"

Deciding to tell her, "Yes. Emmett and I have been cuddling for the past hour."

Alice's mouth dropped open while Rosalie just started laughing.

"So _that's_ where my boyfriend has been!" Alice merely rolled her eyes and got up to get something to drink.

It occurred to me that the guys were in fact missing. "Hey, where _are_ your lovely boyfriends?"

Rosalie threw her head back with a dramatic sigh. "Who knows! We sent them to the store to pick up some things, but they have been gone for a while. They are probably in a jail somewhere in Mexico by now."

I had to laugh at that. Who knows what kind of trouble Emmett and Jasper could have gotten into. The jail thing wouldn't surprise me.

Alice suddenly turned around with an excited look on her face. "Oh, Bella! You have to see this! Someone filmed the cat fight between Jessica and Lauren the other day. It's up on YouTube and everything! Let me go get my laptop real quick." She danced out of the room leaving the two of us alone.

Rosalie nudged me and turned her head to look down at me. "You okay?"

I didn't want to come out and admit what I was feeling. "Yeah, totally fine." I lied.

She seemed skeptical but went back to her magazine.

I figured Rose would be the best option for finding out about Victoria. Alice would probably read too much into it. _Not that she wouldn't be right._

In a weak voice I asked, "Hey Rose?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh," I nervously played with my fingers. "Who is Victoria?"

She looked up from here magazine without looking to me. "How do you know about Victoria?"

"Edward mumbled her name while he was sleeping?" It came off as more of a pathetic question.

She exhaled and rolled her eyes. Instead of answering me, she just shook her head and grumbled, "That bitch? Ugh, I'm glad she's out of the picture."

I could see I would get nowhere with her. Alice chose that moment to dance back into the kitchen toting her laptop.

Her face fell a little as she gave a confused look. "What's going on? Why so sullen?"

Rosalie huffed in annoyance, "Victoria. Apparently your brother says her name when he sleeps."

She had a shocked look on her face for about two seconds before she composed herself and nervously laughed. Maybe I could finally get some answers. _Who am I kidding?_

Don't get me wrong, I love Alice but she wouldn't tell me something were really important if there was a chance it could stand in the way of me and Edward.

Alice noticed my hurt expression at the mention of her name before lightly brushing it off. "Oh, Bella. You have nothing to worry about. Victoria is just someone Edward used to date. Trust me. She is _way_ out of the picture."

_Yeah, so far out of the picture that Edward still calls her name in his sleep._

"I'm not worried," I say to try to cover my ass. "I was just curious."

They both give me a knowing look before Alice plops the laptop down in front of us.

"Be prepared to watch this bit of movie magic!"

We watch the video, obviously shot on a cell phone, about 20 times. It gets funnier every time. The person filming managed to capture pretty much the whole thing. You don't get to see Jessica say whatever it is she said to start the whole thing, but it's still golden.

We are all three laughing our asses off when Edward walks in rubbing his eyes looking sleepy. "What's going on? I could hear you three howling from my room."

Alice motions him over.

He walks up behind me and leans down to whisper in my ear while gripping my hips. "There you are. When I woke up and you weren't there I thought you left."

He nudges me off of the stool before taking my place and pulling me down on his lap. His arms snake around my waist and hold me in a death grip while he molds his chest to my back and places his head on my shoulder.

"What is this?" He nods toward the screen.

I turn my head slightly, "It's the girl fight I was telling you about earlier."

He tightens his hold before saying, "play it."

Alice grins uncontrollably before starting the video over.

We watch it a few more times with Edward. He is laughing just as hard as we were. _Man, it never gets old._ It doesn't hurt that every time he laughs, I bounce a little on his lap. To be honest, I'm getting a little hot and bothered. He has no idea just what he does to me.

Edward drove me home a after we got sick of watching the video. We laughed and joked about it on the way. Nobody mentioned that the fight was a direct result of Edward, but we all seemed to know it.

The Victoria issue was long forgotten. If both Rosalie and Alice say it's no big deal, then it usually isn't. I shouldn't lose sleep over it.

He kissed me on the forehead before sending me inside. _If only he knew…_

* * *

That night I thought back to my original question. Why does he do it?

I tried to justify the situation to myself. Sure, he kept doing things with them but they were just sexual. I was the one who he woke up early for just to pick me up for school. I was the one who got to sit with him at lunch while his arm was always draped across my shoulders. I was the one who went home with him most days – the only girl to ever have been in his bed. We had real conversations, knew things about each other that no one else did. That had to be worth something, right?

He could never have a real relationship with them because he wouldn't let them get close enough. It was just physical.

But I had that advantage. I had the power to help him; to heal Edward Cullen. If I could show him what he's missing by keeping things the way they were, I could possibly change him.

And I honestly believed that.


	8. Healing You, Healing Me pt2

**Ch. 7 – Healing You, Healing Me**

**This is the second half of HYHM.**

**I originally wrote this chapter with a very different ending. I really wasn't satisfied with the progression, and I thought certain aspects were moving _much_ too slow. (The reason why I only posted half.) I left it alone for a while to come up with something… anything? Sorry for the wait. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight characters!**

* * *

**BPOV**

I have a theory.

While no one will tell me who the hell Victoria is, I figure she must be someone important to Edward. Hell, I don't think he even knows some of the girls last names that he is currently messing around with.

What he needs is a good detoxing from all the vile whores he surrounds himself with.

If I've learned nothing from being around Edward, the one thing I do know for sure is that he has a routine he feels comfortable with.

Sure, some people may see him as a torrential whore capable of starting some sort of super STI, but if you take a step back and really analyze the situation, you might start to see it as I do. Sort of like a misguided means to an end. I know that doesn't help his whore image but it helps explain some of his more rancorous behavior.

It's no secret that Edward doesn't really have friends. It's also no secret to those who he does interact with, and by interacts I don't mean fucks, that there is definitely something wrong with the boy. I don't know. He just seems… empty and Victoria might have something to do with that.

So, my theory is that he is hiding whatever it is that is making him feel so lonely by filling his free time with meaningless sexual encounters. Maybe he doesn't actually like being a whore. It's probably just a distraction. I feel sorry for him and want to help him in any way I can. He just needs someone to listen to him and be there for him instead of seeking comfort inside girls' panties.

Who else does he have? Emmett, his brother for all intents, has Rosalie; Alice, the person who he is probably closest to, has Jasper and issues of her own. That leaves me.

I know when his peak hours of play are and all I need to do is intercept the activities that seem to be holding him back from making progress. There are the pre-lunchtime rendezvous… simple – I need _tutoring_ in Algebra. Alice always says he takes his schoolwork seriously and he has proven to be more than willing to help me if I need it. To be honest, that may actually be more beneficial to me anyway.

Then there are his nighttime and weekend activities. These may be more problematic. While I spend a great deal of time with him after school, I know I don't monopolize his whole evening, and I can't just move into their place to keep an eye on Edward… can I? _No, that's a little too stalkerish._

Hmm. I'm going to have to think a bit more about this area. In the meantime, I can work on him at school.

* * *

On Wednesday, I made my plan; on Thursday, I put the first phase into action – lunchtime studying.

That morning, when Edward picked me up from school, I casually mentioned that I was drowning in my schoolwork.

"What do you need help with?" Alice chirped from the back seat.

"Umm," I stumbled trying to pull something out of my ass, "well, math of course, and I'm having a bit of trouble with the biology lab stuff."

_Complete lie._ Biology was actually my best subject. Edward gave me a strange glance out of the corner of his eye.

Quickly trying to recover I added, "you know, we have that huge test coming up that covers all of the stuff we did during the dissection week, and it all kind of grossed me out, so I might have not have paid too much attention. I guess it's hard to concentrate when you're trying hard not to puke." I gave a sheepish smile and shrugged my shoulders. Alice and Edward both laughed.

I could do that lab in my sleep, but they don't need to know that… especially if my plan is going to work.

"Well, I guess I should be the one to help you with biology, you are my lab partner after all." Edward poked me in my side. "That is, if you promise not to puke all over me when we go over it."

"Oh," I assured, "it's only bad when we are actually doing the dissections. The smell of formaldehyde really gets to me." I know, I'm lame.

"What about your math work? Emmett and Rosalie helped you last time, I'm sure they would help you again?" _Shut it, Alice._

Time to pull out the big guns. "I guess they could, I mean they were really great last time, but honestly, they spent most of the time arguing about who was right. It was all so confusing. During the test I spent most of the time trying to remember who told me the right way to do the problems and who ended up being wrong."

They both laughed again, considering they knew just how much Emmet and Rosalie both think they are right – all of the time.

"Well, I offered to help you in math before. The offer still stands," Edward said with a genuine smile.

Alice giggled from the back seat.

"I would feel bad asking you, Edward. I mean, you already agreed to help me in biology." I added the last part with a flirty smirk. _When did I become such a… girl? _If I weren't so desperate to get Edward alone, I would be disgusted with myself.

He took his hand off the steering wheel just as we were pulling into the parking lot and patted my knee. "I just told you, I would help you if you needed it. All you have to do is ask, Bella."

_Bingo!_

"Edward," I said turning to him as he parked the car, "I would be forever indebted to you if you would be so kind as to be my personal tutor. And I promise I will find _some_ way to repay you." I topped it with a cheesy smile and a few bats of my eyelashes. _Gross._ Alice chose that time to get out and leave us to our discussion.

"Oh, Bella dear," he said playing along and giving me a mischievous smirk, "nothing would make me happier than to see a fellow student succeed because of something I did."

I feigned disgust. "You mean, the only reason you would help me is because it would make you look good if I succeeded?" I tisked him. "Such an ego."

He smiled genuinely and tugged my hair. "Why else would I do it? What's the point of helping people if nobody knows you did it?"

"Ass." I leaned it and stuck my tongue out in his face before opening my door and stepping out.

"Tease." He said to my back.

I threw my head back in laughter as he got out and joined me by my door.

"So, when do you want to start this whole tutoring thing?" He asked while leaning against the passenger side door.

This is the part he may say no to; the first step in putting distance between him and his skanks.

"I was thinking, maybe you could help me at lunch with my biology – you know, because it's right before the class… and then maybe we could do some math after school?"

A brief look of concentration crossed his face before he smirked and looked devilish.

"I'll help you on one condition," he leaned down so he was whispering in my ear, "you cannot call me Edward while I'm helping you. You must refer to me as master."

I gulped.

"Y..yes, m..master," I stuttered.

A soft velvety laugh sounded inches from my ear before he cooed, "good girl."

He swatted my butt before turning and strutting toward the entrance.

"See you at lunch, Bella," he called over his shoulder.

_Fuck me. I think I need to change my panties._

* * *

Just after art ended and I gathered my things, I met Edward in the hallway and we headed off to the library to study stuff I didn't actually need to study. Hey, at least I would have time alone with Edward.

We went through the basic contents from our dissection labs before Edward declared we were at a good stopping point. There was still about ten minutes left before lunch ended so we decided to grab a quick bite to eat.

I realized, as Edward was reaching for the cafeteria door, what this would look like to everybody else – me walking in with Edward, late to lunch…

This actually wasn't part of my plan, but hey, I couldn't have planned it out better.

As we took our first steps into the room – side by side – I eagerly awaited the reaction of the harem. Just as I suspected, I saw Lauren pause mid sentence to one of her friends and drop the apple that I'm sure she wasn't eating. To my right, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Jessica's jaw practically hit the table. _Score! Take a picture bitches! This is the beginning of the end of your skanky asses!_

All of the people at our table were giving us looks ranging from incredulous from Jasper to knowing from Alice.

To top it all off, Edward pulled out my chair before sitting next to me and throwing his arm over my shoulder.

And me? I couldn't wipe the satisfied smirk off my face if I tried.

* * *

It was Saturday evening, Edward and I were hanging out in his room. We have been doing the whole lunch time study sessions every day and I found that I could keep him distracted at night by hanging out for a few hours under the guise of 'unwinding' before we started our sessions again. So far, so good. He hasn't seen any of his girls since Tuesday – that I know of. It would be hard to sneak them by me though, seeing as how I'm practically by his side from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep. I'm not complaining – at all.

Alice was in town for some reason and she was just not having it. We could hear her yelling even though the door to Edward's room was securely closed. She must really be tearing into him today. Poor Jasper. I seem to be saying that a lot these days.

We did our best to ignore what I assume was a monumental argument.

Suddenly, a door slammed somewhere downstairs and was followed by heavy footsteps up the stairs.

Someone knocked on the door. We both looked up, startled by who it might be. Alice peeked her head around the door and smiled.

"Hey, Edward. Wanna come with me to pick up some Chinese?"

He looked at her with a shocked expression before collecting himself and answering that he would go.

Even though she looked as if nothing was wrong, I'm sure she wanted Edward to go with her so they could talk about some stuff. That's the only reason I could think of why she wouldn't just ask me instead.

The two of them took off with the promise of being back soon. I had a feeling it might take them a little longer than actually necessary to pick up dinner.

With nothing to do in the meantime, I wandered downstairs. I didn't hear Jasper leave, so I figured he must be somewhere in the house. All I had to do was find him.

I walked into the living room, abruptly stopping just inside the doorway, surprised to see Jasper collapsed on the couch. One arm draped across his face. He looked a little worse for the wear. If I didn't know any better, I would think he was coming down with something. But I did know better. These past few days, I have been a first-hand witness to the torment Alice puts him through. There is really no other way of describing it either. She torments him. Anyone can see how much he loves her by just looking at him when she is near.

Maybe I can help him. I mean, I have no real advice to give him about relationships, but I could just be a friend and offer my shoulder for whatever he needs and shit.

He hasn't noticed that I've entered the room and I don't want to disturb him but he just looks so… worn.

"Hey, Jasper," I whisper to let him know I was standing here without startling him.

He doesn't move or respond, but I see him bite his lower lip. His arm is still blocking most of his face. I eye the spot next to him and wonder if I can make it there without my ability to trip over air kicking in. No, this is definitely one of those moments where light footsteps are needed. With my luck, I would trip and my head would end up in his lap. _Maybe that would cheer him up or make him laugh. Hmm. That could be my thing. Something got you down? I'll throw my head on your crotch and you can tell me all about it! _

After mapping the path of least resistance, I slowly begin to approach him.

The room is eerily silent as the house seems to be completely abandoned. Not even the birds chirping outside can be heard from here. It's oppressive. He must hear me – just too wrapped up in whatever is wrong to make any effort.

I manage to make it to the couch standing in front of him. Looking to his left, I decide it would be better if I were seated instead of leering down at him. Less threatening. Just like approaching a scared animal, it's best to do it on eye-level.

The only thing I can think to offer him is a lame, "Hey." Should I try to hug him? Would he snap at me if I did? I have no idea how to handle this situation, but I hate seeing my friend in pain. Who knows if he would actually let me help him.

My shaky hand reaches out and rests on his knee. The physical contact seems to have startled him out of his trance. He slowly removes his arm from across his face and it falls limply to his side, but he doesn't turn to look at me – just stares ahead.

This isn't going to work if I can't see him. I readjust myself so I'm closer to the edge of the couch and can get a clear view of his face. My gasp causes him to flinch slightly, but I can't help it because I'm so shocked by what I see. His eyes are puffy and red like he's been crying for hours, but the worst part is the _how_ he looks. There is no emotion present. Empty… dead.

Dammit.

Blood seems to be pumping through my ears. My body is literally frozen in shock. I feel like I've just watched a terrible accident yet some sort of invisible web keeps me from moving an inch. _Fuck. What do I do? How do I make this better?_

Jasper.

I have to do something so I act on my instincts and lurch forward throwing my arms around him. He just looks so broken, and it feels like if I hold on tight enough I could hold him together a little longer. Maybe long enough for him to pull himself together a little.

Even though I don't know what happened to get him to this state, it's as if the brokenness is rolling off of him and crashing into me like temperamental waves at high tide. I feel like I might break down at any moment, but I need to hold it together for him. His sadness is my sadness. I need to know what to do.

He continued to stare at the wall in front of us for what felt like an hour before he exhaled loudly and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in tight.

Neither of us said a word, we just clung to each other for dear life.

A few more minutes passed before I pulled back slightly to look at him. This time he met my eyes.

"Are you okay?" My voice was no louder than a whisper, but I know he heard me. Instead of answering, he swallowed hard – the words seemingly stuck in this throat.

"You know, you can talk about it if you want. I will always be here to listen."

His eyes hardened slightly and I could tell he was trying to collect himself.

He opened his mouth a few times, pulling his eyebrows together before he whispered back, "I think…"

He choked on the words he was so desperately trying to push out.

With a slight shake of head, and a new determination, he tried again. "I think… Alice…" The pain I saw when I first entered the room reappeared in his eyes.

I gave him an encouraging nod to tell him he could continue all the while tightening my hold around his shoulders so he would know I wasn't going anywhere.

"I think she's cheating on me."

"Wh… What?" I practically choked on my words.

_Oh no, it's much worse than I thought._ I could handle him being upset about Alice's bitchy behavior, but him thinking Alice is cheating on him? This situation suddenly got much more heavy than even I think I could handle.

He cringed slightly, either at my reaction or the thought of the girl who he loves unconditionally throwing it all away while he sits by and just watches her.

"How… why, I mean, why do you think she's… cheating on you?"

He inhaled sharply and held his breath for a few seconds before continuing.

"Isn't it obvious?"

No, it isn't obvious. Sure, she has her suspicious moments but it could be a number of reasons. Why am I defending her? Up until a few moments ago, I was ready to beat her ass for the way she's been acting, and now all I want to do is find _any_ excuse for the way her less than stellar behavior.

"I don't know what you mean. What is so obvious?"

His arms that were holding me tightly gave a little slack as his entire body went practically limp.

"Everything. The way she's been treating me, her _trips_ to Seattle almost every weekend. She's never invited me to go with her. She doesn't even want me there. I can tell she is hiding something. It would make sense, her cheating on me. It would explain _so much_… like why she's always more distant when she gets back, and why she changes the subject whenever I ask her about Seattle. That has to be it…"

Sure, some of the things may make sense, but I feel he may be jumping to conclusions.

"But you don't have any actual proof? All of that doesn't mean she's cheating on you."

He gave me a weary incredulous look.

Maybe I could calm him down and convince him that he might be overreacting. "You guys have been together practically forever. I'm sure it's natural for you two to hit some rough patches – sure some of them may be worse than others, but do you really want to go jumping to those conclusions?"

He merely shook his head. "Are you defending her? You see the way she acts!"

"No, no. I'm not defending her. I just don't think you should condemn her without knowing what's really going on."

I could tell I hit a nerve and that he was becoming increasingly more irritable about the subject. Of course he would. I'm supposed to be his friend and here I am defending his possibly unfaithful girlfriend.

Time to do some damage control.

"I just think you should talk to her about it. Maybe she's unhappy about something but just doesn't know what to do or how to talk to _you_ about it so she just… handles it badly."

With every word I said, he moved further away from me and was no longer looking me in the eyes.

"You of all people," he muttered.

That hit a nerve with me.

"You're right. She is probably cheating on you!"

His head snapped up to me in surprise.

"But you will never know for sure unless you _talk to her!_" The fire returned to his eyes. We were making progress.

Suddenly he snapped. "What do you want me to say? Huh? _Oh, hey Alice! Nice weather, isn't it! Oh, and I was just wondering… are you_ fucking_ someone else behind my back?_ Do you really think she would tell me?"

"I don't know! I'm sorry, I don't," I pleaded with him.

He immediately withdrew to himself again. An idea occurred to me that I think might help but might also hurt him very much. I was about to do something that might ruin any sort of friendship I had built with Jasper. I was about to tell him the truth.

"Hey, Jasper…" I meekly threw out there.

"What?" he answered with a clipped yet exhausted tone.

"Maybe," I began, unsure if I should continue down this path. "Well, maybe a big problem with how she treats you is… um… you." By the time I finished I was whispering. He was still less than a foot away from me and I didn't want him to lash out.

"What _the fuck_ is that supposed to mean?" he questioned with pure venom.

Now is not the time to back down. I can't take back what I just said – I have to finish this.

"Well, I was just thinking. I mean, maybe she acts like she does because you… let her."

He knew I had him. The fury in his eyes slowly started to fade to uncertainty.

"I mean, I remember when I first met you. No, no, when I first saw you. Remember? It was my first day… in the hallway. She… _slapped_ you and instead of being angry with her, you _defended _her_._"

He looked thoughtful for a few moments before I continued.

"I mean, one of the first things you said to me was I shouldn't get the wrong idea about Alice. You didn't want me to think bad of her even though she physically _hurt you._ While I certainly like Alice and think she's nice _to me_, I have eyes and can see that she's a total bitch to you. You especially shouldn't have to put up with that kind of shit, Jasper. Maybe _that's_ why she get so angry with you – because something is wrong and you kind of just ignore it. You let her treat you like shit without questioning it. I know you probably think that if you keep loving her and supporting her that everything will turn out okay, but what if you are only making it worse?"

I was afraid that I had overstepped all of the lines with my little Dr. Phil rant but I felt it needed to be said. He looked up from his lap that he had been staring at through my entire little speech. Silent tears were furiously streaming down his face so I pulled him back into another tight hug.

"I know," was all he said in a broken whisper before he starting openly sobbing and gripping to me for dear life. I've never seen a grown man cry before, but it broke my heart.

He cried, mumbled a few barely intelligible words like, "It's all my fault," and cried some more.

"Shhh," I cooed while rubbing his back in a motherly fashion.

After the tears lightened, I pulled him back to look into his face.

"Do you see why I think you should talk to her instead of jumping to conclusions? It may not be what you think it is and wouldn't hurt to talk about it."

He nodded before giving me one last strong hug. "Thank you, Bella. I'm sorry you had to put up with me today, but… just thank you." He kissed my cheek before pulling away.

I gave him my most genuine smile before standing up.

"Let's go do something fun. I think we both need it."

I offered my hand to pull him up from the couch.

"But," I stated halting his movement. He looked up at me questioningly. "Will you promise to at least talk to Alice about what's going on?"

He hesitated for a few seconds, looking slightly uncomfortable with the idea of facing something he's been so apt so ignore up until now.

"Okay," he said looking up at me and reaching for my outstretched hand, "I promise."

_Damn! I'm good!_

We set up Rock Band in the living room and proceeded to play for a few minutes. Edward and Alice returned shortly after, and just as I suspected, it took far too long to merely pick up the food. I was thankful though. Jasper looked much better and actually smiled at Alice as she walked in. She looked confused before smiling back.

_Ahh._ _The world is right again._

* * *

The rest of the weekend and most of next week was spent much the same. Edward and I were inseparable, under false pretenses of course, but we were together nonetheless.

I thought it wasn't possible for Edward to be more appealing to me, but the boy had serious brains, and it was such a turn-on.

I could tell Edward's former hoes were getting restless and aggravated because the glares kept getting more and more murderous. I just knew they were talking shit about me behind my back, but I didn't care. I had Edward, and they didn't. _Na na na na boo boo._

With this knowledge, it really was no surprise when one day after school, Lauren _fucking_ Mallory came stomping up to me while I was waiting for Edward.

She got right in my face and tried to stare me down before opening her fat mouth.

"Listen you little bitch; I've tried being nice." _Nice? When? _"I don't know what you are doing to keep Edward away from me because God knows you and your little prudish ass aren't putting out, but if you don't back the fuck up, I'm not above messing up that ugly little face of yours."

_Ha ha ha! Jealous much?_

I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't hide my laughter. This only pissed her off more.

"What's the matter _Lauren?_ Having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that Edward would rather spend his time with little mousy old me than screwing your nasty ass?"

She seethed. "Fucking bitch!"

"Hey!" _Oh this is good._ The sweetest sound in the world – Edward's voice, filled the air as he approached us.

Lauren looked like she was just caught doing something illegal.

She instantly put on a sweet face as she turned toward his voice. "Oh, hey Edward." _Fake bitch._

Edward did not look happy. He was glaring at Lauren as he approached us. I was trying to hide my victorious smile.

Instead of acknowledging her greeting, he kept glaring, threw his arm around me and turned us around before guiding me to his car.

When we were at my door he turned to me with a look of pure concern. I wasn't bothered in the least by what Lauren said but I had to play my part convincingly so I put on my best hurt face.

"Hey," he softly said, pulling my face up so I could look into his eyes. "Are you okay?"

I was afraid if I said anything I would start smiling and that _wouldn't_ be appropriate, so I pressed my lips together and gave a meek nod instead. _And the Oscar goes to…_

He pulled his eyebrows together and brought me into a _very_ tight hug.

I pulled back slightly. "I'm fine. I just want to get out of here."

He gave me a sympathetic smile, kissed me on the head and opened my door.

On the way home, he kept looking at me with concern like he was worried I might open my door and jump out at any moment.

"So," he cut through the silence. "Do you wanna just hang out today? No studying or anything related to school?"

"Sure," I played up the sadness factor.

"Good, I've got a surprise for you." He smirked and that got a genuine smile out of me. A surprise from Edward? _Oh hell yes!_

We spent the afternoon lounging on the couch talking. I could tell Edward was trying to cheer me up. Little did he know I was secretly fucking giddy.

"Okay, Edward. I've been patient enough. When do I get my surprise?" I asked a little too eagerly.

He smirked at me before patting my leg. "Be a little more patient, dear Bella. You will find out soon enough."

"But when?" I whined. "How about you just give me a hint. One little hint and I promise I'll stop asking."

He raised his eyebrow considering my request. "Okay, just one. We have to wait until it's dark outside."

"I have to wait until it's dark to get the hint? Why can't you just tell me now?"

He chuckled. "No, that is the hint – we have to wait until it's dark."

I was thoroughly confused. Dark? So many things could happen when it's dark… _Mind out of the gutter, Bella!_

I huffed before turning my attention to the TV. He laughed but didn't say anything more.

A few hours passes and the sun was just starting to set. _How long does it take for the fucking sun to go completely down?_ I was getting impatient and Edward was loving it.

Thoughts of pretending to be sad were long gone. The only thing I could concentrate on was the surprise Edward had in store. The waiting was killing me!

I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job of containing my irritation, but apparently wasn't. With a deep sigh, Edward stood up and reached for my hand.

"Okay, I think it's time to put you out of your misery."

I grabbed his hand and enthusiastically jumped off the couch.

"Finally!"

He laughed lightly at my sudden change of mood.

"Alright, I just have to get a few things and then I can show you."

He left the room and returned a few minutes later with two blankets and a flashlight. Right. We were going outside – in the dark.

"Follow me," he smirked while leading me out the door at the back of their house.

Once outside, Edward turned on the flashlight and grabbed my hand leading me towards the woods.

The woods? _Oh hell no._

I stopped dead in my tracks but he kept walking which caused him to jerk slightly. Looking back at me, he tugged my hand. He must have seen the confused look in my eyes.

"Come on. There is a path through the woods. I promise to keep you safe," he added with a crooked smile.

If I wanted to see what he had planned, I had to trust him. It's not that easy when he expects me to go hiking through the woods when it's dark outside. The things I would be willing to do for him. Oh, this could be exciting.

With reluctance, I gave into his tugs and continued to follow close behind him, gripping his hand for dear life.

We followed the round spot of light illuminating the path for what seemed like miles before Edward suddenly stopped causing me to bump into his back.

He turned around and looked down to me. "We're here."

"We're where?" I asked, confused about where exactly we were. It looked like the middle of the woods to me.

Still facing me, he backed up pulling me along with him. After a few paces, the trees parted and suddenly, I found myself standing in what appeared to be a clearing.

Edward turned around and shined the flashlight ahead of us. Yup, we were definitely in a clearing. The light was too weak to reach the trees on the other side so I figures it must be a pretty big meadow or something.

We walked until the trees were far behind us. Edward spread out one of the blankets and sat down. He pat the space next to him and I reluctantly joined him.

"Lay down," he said while turning off the flashlight.

I did as he said. I couldn't see anything because my eyes were still adjusted to the flashlight, but after a few moments I could see why he brought me out here.

The sky.

On a few rare and precious days in Forks, Washington, the clouds part and the sky is clear. Apparently this was one of those nights. The sky was full of starts and it literally took my breath away. I haven't seen stars since I left Phoenix. I didn't even know I missed them, but looking up now, I couldn't help but feel like I was being reunited with a long lost friend.

It was… breathtaking.

I stared in awe as Edward pulled the second blanket around us and tucked my head into the crook of his arm.

"Was the surprise worth the wait?"

I turned to him and looked him in the eyes. "It was so worth the wait."

"The news said it would be a clear night. Alice, Emmett and I used to come out here and have camp outs on clear days. I thought you might like it."

"I do," I answered honestly.

Despite being a clear night, the air was very chilly and I couldn't hold in my shivers.

Edward responded by pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me.

I'm not sure what made me shiver more, the weather or his touch.

We started talking about random things, like the party coming up, if I was going. I was. Alice made me swear I would go with her. All the while, Edward and I were slowly becoming more cozy under the blanket. One of his arms was behind my head and he was gently running his hand through my hair. The other was draped loosely across my side and his other hand was massaging my hip.

With the mention of Alice, the topic of conversation switched to Alice and Jasper's relationship. It was mostly me filling him in on Jasper's side of the story, I'm sure he knew what his sister was going through. They were incredibly close.

"Did you know," I began, "when you two left to get the food the other night that I found Jasper crying in the living room?"

"He was seriously crying? Why?"

"He was really upset. He thinks Alice is cheating on him."

Edward was quiet. I angled my head that was resting on his chest so I could see his face. He was looking at me through his eyelashes.

Slowly, his hand that was resting on my hip came up to my face and he gently cupped my cheek.

My heart sped up because it almost looked and felt like he was going to…

He pulled my head closer and pressed his lips to mine.

_Ahh, heaven._

His pouty lips slowly started to caress mine while he pulled me on top of him. Unlike the last time he kissed me, I really wanted this. I wanted him and I couldn't get enough. I may have been getting a little too enthusiastic because he momentarily broke our kiss to roll us over so I was on my back and he was hovering over me. I like it when he takes control.

The moon provided just enough light for me to see the soft features of his face. He held his position and gazed into my eyes. I brought my hand up to brush the hair away. Nothing should block that perfect face.

I pulled him back down to me. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth and gently nibbled. I shivered again, but I was far from cold.

Shifting his weight to one arm, he gripped my hip and almost roughly dug his fingers into my wanting flesh.

Both of us were moaning and the sounds were only spurring us on further. I gladly let his tongue massage mine. His hands became more insistent, they were everywhere. My past experience didn't prepare me for this moments, but honestly, it was better that I could have imagined and I was just going for it.

When it felt like my lungs were on fire from lack of air, I pulled away slightly. Edward began kissing my neck, just like he did the first time he kissed me. This time, I wasn't pushing him away. I was pulling him in. He brought the weight of his hips down on me and I could easily tell he was excited. The idea that I was the one who was turning him on turned me on.

This was happening. Edward was kissing me. I've fucking _dreamed_ of this for weeks. No lie, I've literally daydreamed of Edward and I in this exact position. Not exactly in this setting, most of the time it involved his bed, a closet at school, the teacher's desk… but this was _so_ much better. This was real.

His hand palmed my stomach and ever so slowly inched its way up bringing my shirt with it in the process. If it were anybody else hovering above me, I might have some objections, but it's Edward, and this was meant to be. Why fight it?

I let out a little squeak that quickly turned into another moan when his hand grabbed my breast. It fit perfectly in his grasp. With my moans, Edward rolled his hips into mine. Instinctually, my leg came up and wrapped around his hip accepting his movements and countering them with my own. He brought his head down to my stomach and started to kiss a trail from my navel to my chest. He hesitated for a moment, gazing down at my still covered breasts before lowering his head and lightly kissing the place over my heart.

I shivered again, but this time it _was_ from the weather. With my shirt pulled up to my chin and the blanket pushed to our feet, I was getting cold.

Edward noticed. He kissed my chest one more time before leaning back and pulling my shirt down again. He reached behind him and pulled the blanket up and around us.

We lay there, limbs entwined and panting under the clear, perfect star-filled sky.

I couldn't ask for more.

I had a feeling our lunch time study sessions would not be filled with studying from now on.


	9. The Fork in Forks

**Ch. 8 - The Fork in Forks (or a chance to take the path of truth... or not)**

**Sorry for the absence. We all get a little busy.**

**I REALLY appreciate everyone who has read or read and reviewed this story. I've had the entire story planned out in my head for a long time, I'm just having a hard time motivating myself to actually translate it to real words. But, thanks so much for reading.**

**I will go work on Ch. 9 now. Enjoy!**

**SM is the new Oprah? powerful...  
**

**

* * *

**

**BPOV**

"Is it in yet?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Don't insult me Bella. I think you would know if it were in."

Ah, man-pride. I didn't mean to insult his skills, I was just incredible tense and nervous at the current situation. We had been sneaking around, and given our present location, we could easily get caught. I don't know why we just couldn't have done this at his house… like I wanted.

He must get off on the possibility of someone finding us.

The fact of the matter is, I had never done something like this and I knew there was going to be noise - and it was going to be loud. That was inevitable. It's not the type of thing you really even want to keep quiet. The louder you got, the better the experience – or so I'm told.

I've had my speculations for quite some time. I mean, Edward seemed like got his jollies from all sorts of shady and seedy things, but I didn't know just how experienced Edward was in this area until a few minutes ago when he whipped it out and went to work. The guy could teach a fucking class he was so focused.

A noticeable line of sweat started to form on his brow as he concentrated even harder on the delicate task requiring a great deal of finesse and a little maneuvering. I began to get impatient while he took his sweet fucking time making sure not to mess up. This night was going to be special no matter what, but DAMN, he could at least go a little faster.

He grunted which in turn made me shiver. I had to admit. The possibility of someone walking in on us had my adrenaline pumping out of control and I felt like I could explode at any minute.

With a sharp push, he looked me in the eye and grinned. "Now I'm in," he shot at me with a tone of pure smugness.

The door to the school's music room swung open with a slight creak and Edward put his lock-picking kit back in his pocket before waving his hand as a gesture for me to enter the dark room.

When I suggested that he play his piano for me earlier tonight, he got an evil glint in his eye and told me we had to make a journey for the proper setting. I, however, had no idea that getting to the proper setting involved breaking and entering.

When he led me to his car, I still had no idea what was up his sleeve… that is until he pulled into the high school parking lot. The school was abandoned because it was a weekend – an unwelcome place for two students to be in the middle of the night.

My protests were met with defiant scoffs and many pleas for me to 'live a little'. Funny considering if we got caught, I would surely die by the hands of my law-abiding and law-enforcing father. This entire situation had the potential to be the very thing that would bring shame upon my family and perhaps be enough for Charlie to ship me back to Renee. As much as I missed my mother, I've grown to like it here - mainly due to the delinquent accompanying me on tonight's mission of debauchery in the name of art. If Charlie really knew what he was agreeing to when he said I could stay with Alice for the weekend, I'm sure he wouldn't have allowed it.

I stopped once inside the door because there were no lights on in the room, and the unfamiliar layout would surely prove to be difficult to navigate given my history with being attacked by inanimate objects.

Edward brushed passed me, and with a click, a moment later a small light illuminated the keys of the school's only grand piano. I admit it could be considered a sexy instrument. Very sleek. Bonus points for the person now sitting on its bench.

He turned toward me and gestured for me to join him. How could I possibly resist such an offer? Simple – I can't.

I tried to maintain my cool as I walked toward the piano sex-god sitting on the bench. It was difficult though seeing as how the low cast shadows across his face in all the right places making him look more alluring and slightly dangerous. He was a predator and I was the entranced prey willingly walking toward his trap.

As soon as I was close enough, his patient and mysterious façade diminished as he excitedly grabbed my wrist and pulled me down next to him on the bench.

"Now," he said with a jovial tone while looking down on me, "what does the lady want to hear?"

He started playing old timey music that you would probably hear accompanying a silent film. This made me laugh. This was playful Edward. The Edward Alice swears was lost long ago but was resurfacing though his growing friendship with me. The Edward that actually gets along with Jasper and can keep a conversation going with Emmett and Rosalie without Rosalie threatening to "choke a bitch".

They all keep telling me that the brooding shithead Edward was decreasing in appearance and they all seemed to like it. The only thing was every time they mentioned this to Edward himself, he seemed to revert back to his old ways and close himself off – especially from me.

That's why we just don't mention it anymore. It keeps everyone happier.

Back to the joker who is currently sitting to my left. He chuckled at my amusement with his parlor performance before slowing the music down to something that can only be described as jazzy and smooth. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes while listening to the effortless tunes his skillful fingers kneaded out of the borrowed instrument.

We sat like that for a while. I don't know how long – it's easy to get lost with Edward.

The tune faded with a few well-placed notes, and I lifted my head to look at Edward. He was looking down at me with his eyebrows slightly nit together. I started to question what was wrong, but before I could, he scooped me up in his arms and kissed me.

_Divine!_

The last time Edward kissed me was in the meadow a last week. He had skillfully and somewhat awkwardly avoided physical contact with me since, and we went back to the playful friendship that had developed before that night. That leads up to tonight when he wanted to break into the school to play a fucking piano that was, might I add, of a lesser quality than the piano that is currently occupying one of the many rooms in the Cullen home.

_I will never know how the fuck this guy reasons._

Oh well, it doesn't matter. What did matter was that I was currently half sitting/ half hovering over Edward while his fuck-hot mouth attacked mine. _Romantic, right?_

His delicious tongue was massaging mine, which elicited a not-so-innocent moan from me. The sound seemed to work the same as a cold bucket of water being poured on an out of control fire. He abruptly stopped kissing me and moved his head back while keeping his eyes downturned.

_I thought moaning turned guys on? What the hell?_

"What?" I managed to ask softly after a fucking eternity of trying to catch my breath.

My insecurities were dangling by a thread. _Don't pull away, Edward. Please, please, please don't pull away._

Despite my wishing, he did exactly that.

His hands that had been on my hips moved to either side of him on the bench, and he basically refused to meet my eyes.

With a deep breath, he gently reached up and repositioned me so I was once again sitting beside him on the bench.

I wanted to cry.

This was all going so wrong. I hadn't taken my eyes off of him and he hadn't looked at me. We were having such a good time and then the kiss… the kiss was fan-fucking-tastick. Why would he pull away? What was wrong with me that he would pull away?

I started to feel worse by the second. I could tell I was close to hyperventilating – my breathing hadn't slowed since he broke the kiss.

He abruptly stood up and peered down toward but not at me with a stern expression.

"I should take you home," was all he said before clicking the light above the piano off and walking to the classroom door.

The faint light from the hallway was the only thing illuminating my pathway. I stood silently with my head bowed and walked past him into the hallway. I kept my head down but peeked up at him when his back was to me. He relocked the door from the inside and let it gently shut before turning and walking down the hall toward the exit. He still hadn't looked at me.

I followed a few feet behind him – too shocked and hurt to walk next to him. I didn't want to ask him what happened and risk him losing his temper. He didn't look like he was in the best of moods.

He made it to his car a few moments before I did, but unlike the usual of opening the passenger door for me, he merely unlocked it and slid into the driver's seat.

I paused for a moment by the door before doing the same.

The atmosphere was awkward from the moment my door shut effectively sealing us in a stifling tomb of confusion with undercurrents of anger. I still had no idea what the hell happened back there.

I chanced a glance at him from the corner of my eye and noticed his face was completely void of any type of expression making it hard to guess what was going through his head. I would give anything to go back to the jovial Edward from earlier. He was gone.

Changing my focus back to the dark road ahead, I noticed for the first time that we were going in the wrong direction.

"Where are you going?" I asked timidly.

"I'm taking you home," was all he said in a flat voice.

I swallowed hard before speaking up again. "My truck is at your house because I was supposed to stay with Alice this weekend."

"Shit," he cursed half-heartedly while quickly pulling his car onto the shoulder before making a sharp U-turn in the opposite direction.

His driving caused me to slam my shoulder into the window with elicited a low "fuck" and slight hiss from me.

Instead of saying anything, he looked at me from the corner of his eyes before continuing his drive.

_Thanks for the concern, dickhead…_

I had driven to his house early this morning to spend some time with Alice before she and Jasper made themselves scarce to have the impending _talk_ that I basically strong-armed him into. Since it was a weekend, it made no sense for Edward to come get me only to have to drive me back on Sunday. Had I foreseen the events of tonight, I would have let him drive me. There was no way I was going to

Now I was stuck in a shitty, albeit expensive, dad-car with a PMSing teenage boy who just reaffirmed the fact that he doesn't see me as anything but a _friend – _if even that now.

My hurt feelings were quickly turning to anger the more I thought about the evening.

_He didn't have to moody and broody on me. A simple apology for attacking my face would have been fine. The fucking prick doesn't even look remotely sorry. He was the one to started shit. Why should he be mad? If anybody has the right to be pissed, it is me. I was violated! _

Who the fuck was I kidding? I was mad, but I was still pretty fucking hurt.

As soon as he turned into his driveway, my left hand fingered the seatbelt release, while my right hand rested on the door handle. I was literally crawling out of my skin to get out of this car. He pulled into the driveway next to my truck, and as soon as I deemed the car to close enough to stopped, I executed my escape.

I made it to the front door before I even heard his door close.

My hands were shaking as I turned the handle; I couldn't look back because tears were starting to well in my eyes and I would lose it at any moment. All of the lights were on inside, but I didn't see anybody as I headed for the stairs to get my stuff from Alice's room. I was about two feet away from them when Jasper stepped in front of me effectively halting my mission. Because I was practically running, I crashed into him knocking my breath away.

He wrapped his arms around me to keep me from moving.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked obviously shocked by my frantic appearance.

I kept my head down and body tense. "Nothing, let me go."

"Bella?" I looked to my right to see Alice standing in the doorway of the room Jasper had popped out of. She looked at me with a confused and worried look before addressing the front door. "Edward, what happened?"

I glanced back to see _him _standing in the open door, but before he could respond, I took a step back from Jasper and tried to move around him to go upstairs.

"Where are you going?" I heard Edward ask incredulously.

_Seriously? I'm getting the fuck out of here._

"To get my shit – then I'm going home!" I replied in a huff as I stumbled my way upstairs as fast as possible.

Both Alice and Jasper turned to Edward while saying, "What did you do?"

If I weren't intent of getting out of there, I would have laughed at their equally astonished accusations. It was the first time I have _eve_r heard Alice take anyone else's side other than Edward's.

But I couldn't laugh. If I did, it would probably sound a bit hysterical right about now.

_Jesus, are these stairs getting longer?_

I was back to the borderline hyperventilation from before – probably because I hadn't caught my breath since Edward kissed me.

I rounded the top of the stair well and turned toward Alice's room. All I had to do was pack the few things I brought, get my purse and then I would be free to leave. I reached her door and flung it open with a little too much force – the door swung back and slammed against her wall making me flinch slightly. _Oh well, I can pay her for any damages later_.

My bag was carelessly thrown on the floor and the few things I packed to spend the weekend_ with Alice_ were strewn about the room from my attempts to find something to wear for my night out with Edward. How terribly wrong the whole thing went.

I frantically started to shove my shit in the small backpack I brought while trying my damndest not to cry. I can cry as soon as I get out of here, but I _will not_ let him see me cry.

A hand on my shoulder startled me. I turned abruptly and looked into the eyes of Jasper.

He looked at me for a moment before turning around and shutting the door and then crossing the room to sit on Alice's bed.

Patting the space next to him, he looked back at me. "Take a seat. Talk to me."

I stood there looking at him with my hand still shoved in my backpack. He looked pretty peaceful and offered me a small smile.

_Oh, what the hell? _I felt exhausted, so I willingly took the seat Jasper offered.

As soon as I sat down, his arm came around me and pulled me into his side.

"What's up, kiddo? What was that all about?"

I took a deep breath and exhales, utterly deflated. "Nothing."

"You know you can talk about it."

"Yeah, I know, but it's embarrassing and I would rather just let it go."

"Suite yourself. If you want to talk about it, I'm always here," he said while giving me an extra squeeze.

I just nodded my head. We were quiet for a while before Jasper started again.

"So… Alice and I had that talk."

I almost forgot. I turned to look up at him and he was trying to suppress a grin.

I gave his knee a pat. "Well… how did it go?"

His smile could have lit up a Christmas tree. He scooted back on the bed and I followed so we were both propped up against the headboard.

"It went…," he drawled for dramatics, "really fucking well."

I couldn't help but be happy for my friend. He has been through so much and all it took was for him to talk to his girlfriend for him to be happy. It made me feel a bit silly about my own issues. At least I wasn't in the kind of pain Jasper has been going through.

"So, tell me about it," I inquired.

"You were right. I just needed to talk to her."

"And…?"

"And, it was just like you thought. She was unhappy about some stuff but didn't feel like she could talk to me about it because I tend to ignore our problems. I know we still have problems that we need to work on, but at least now I know there is no one else… just me."

"See, I told you it would work out if you just talked to her about it."

"Yeah, I even asked her why she never invites me to Seattle. I let her know that it upsets me when she just leaves every weekend and doesn't want me to come with her. I mean I probably don't want to go shopping with her, but it would still be nice to know that my girlfriend wants to spend time with me."

"That makes sense. I'm proud of you Jasper. Alice seemed to be in a good mood when I got here."

"Yeah," he answered with a slightly dreamy look on his face. _Ok, so maybe I shouldn't be sitting on Alice's bed. That's definitely a just got fucked look._

The thought then occurred to me. "Why does she never ask you to go to Seattle with her?"

"She tried to explain it to me. It's like how I told you the art festival really wasn't her scene." I thought that was strange seeing as how she seemed to love art. "I don't know. She said she is just constantly surrounded by so much drama – you know, with Edward and all of the girls that follow him, small town gossip and with… me ignoring our obvious problems, that she wants to get away from it all sometimes. She tries to surround herself with stuff that _she_ likes to make her feel better."

"But why doesn't she invite you?"

"Because apparently, I'm a big part of the problem – besides, bringing your high school boyfriend to visit your college friends is kind of a huge reminder that your problems are still there."

"Is that all she said?"

"Yeah – but we are good now."

It seems like they just had a conversation about how Alice is unhappy and it's all Jasper's fault. Actually, it doesn't really seem like they settled anything.

I tried to hide the skepticism. "That's really great, Jasper. I'm glad you guys worked it out."

"Thanks, Bella," he said turning to me. "You _are_ the one who convinced me to talk to her."

We smiled at each other for a moment, but the silence was interrupted with a knock on the door. Alice stuck her head around the corner and grinned. "May I come in?"

"Yeah," both Jasper and I said at the same time.

She ran towards the bed and jumped on before settling herself between me and Jasper. "It's not like you could keep me out of my own room."

Jasper and I laughed at the goofy Alice. It was nice to see her so lighthearted. She and Edward seem to have a lot in common in the mood department.

"Look," Alice said cautiously as she took Jasper's hand and gave him a genuine loving smile, "Jasper told me you were the one who urged him to talk to me about everything. I think you should take your own advice and talk to my brother."

I held my hand up to stop her, but her tone turned to pleading. "He's not as bad as everyone thinks, he just has a bad habit of keeping all of his shit hidden from everybody. Maybe if you talk to him, he would let you in on what he is _actually_ thinking."

I looked to Jasper for a little help, but he just shrugged. _Judas!_

I would expect Jasper to stick up for me and warn me to stay away from Edward like he's been doing all along, but his little chat with Alice must have softened him up.

Alice was clearly not going to back down from this – she had a very determined look on her face. _Like she ever backs down from everything._

"Fine," I gave up. "I'll talk to him."

"Yay!" Alice trilled. "You are still staying tonight, aren't you?"

I got off the bed and made my way to the door, but paused and looked to them, "We'll see how it goes."

They both gave me encouraging smiles as I exited. Edward's door was on the other end of the hallway, but I could tell from where I stood that it was close. _Maybe I could still make a getaway without anybody noticing. Shit! I left all of my stuff in Alice's room._

I guess I was stuck talking to him.

I can't even remember the last time I was in Edward's room. _Oh yeah, the day we slept together and he practically dry humped me while calling out his ex's name. Great memory…_

Soft music was pouring out from behind his door and I almost chickened out again, but I kept thinking that if Alice and Jasper could talk it out, Edward and I could as well. We weren't even dating! No big deal.

I knocked once – no response.

I knocked again but called out his name this time. A few moments later, the door swung open and Edward stood there looking down at me expectantly.

My embarrassment and anguish from earlier came flooding back. His penetrating gaze made me feel so small.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Edward just rolled his eyes and grabbed me by the wrist to pull me into his room. "Come on," he huffed.

Once inside, he shut the door behind me and then flopped back down onto his bed. I was frozen in place looking at everything but him.

He huffed again before getting up to drag me back to his bed.

"Sit," he commanded. I did as I was told.

He resumed his previous position, but I was still sitting on the edge of the bed so I couldn't see him.

He spoke softly, "Alice thinks I should talk to you."

That got my attention. I turned to face him and he was looking at me with his head cocked to the side.

"Then talk," I croaked.

He rolled his eyes again. _I swear if he does it one more time I will slap the shit out of him._

"You need to relax, Bella." Just like Jasper, he patted the place next to him on the bed. I hesitantly obliged by stiffly moving so I was sitting against the headboard. He was, however, much more relaxed and barely propped up on a few pillows. _I'm glad he can get comfortable at a time like this – the little shit._

"So," he began with a very girly tone, "what do you want to talk about?" He finished flipping on his side and propping his head up while giving a girly giggle.

I was so tense, his sudden playfulness made me giggle. _Dammit, there he goes again. I can't ever stay mad at him!_

"I don't know what we are supposed to talk about," he confessed.

It was my turn to roll my eyes, which apparently he found funny.

I didn't really want to discuss what happened earlier; it was too fresh and my fragile ego was still delicately balancing in limbo, so I settled on a topic that I have been wondering about for a while.

"Edward," I asked shyly not meeting his eyes.

"Bella," he mimicked me.

_Now or never Bella. Take your own advice and ask the tough questions._

"Who is Victoria?" I looked over at him. He was no longer meeting my gaze, but was looking at a nondescript spot on his comforter. His eyebrows were scrunched together like he was concentrating really hard on something or like he had just eaten something bad.

**EPOV**

Who was Victoria? I know exactly why she asked me and was prepared for this question. Alice told me Bella was asking about her a few weeks ago. Apparently, I said her name when we were taking a nap.

Victoria.

My first love - the girl I would have done anything for without hesitation.

I met her when we were both five and we became best friends. I was going through a rough time even as a kid. My parent's death was still fresh, and I didn't feel like Esme and Carlisle really wanted me. They already had two kids of their own. I know now how ridiculous that thought was, but I just didn't feel like I fit in with Emmett and Alice. They were twins and had the typical strong twin bond. That's why Victoria and I got along so well. It was like I finally found that connection with someone else that Alice and Emmett had. Victoria was an only child and desperately wanted a sibling. I actually asked Esme if I could go live with Victoria's family and be her brother. Poor Esme looked like she was going to cry, which I just didn't understand. I wasn't her child, but she already thought of me as such.

So, for several years, we were like brother and sister. She actually helped me feel more welcome in the place that I still call home.

When we were in junior high, our relationship started to change; we would catch each other with longing glances when we thought the other wasn't looking and I would make any excuse to touch her. One time, I 'accidentally' tripped while sitting down at lunch just so my shoulder would brush against hers. She smelled so nice.

With the encouragement of my friends and siblings, I finally told her I liked her. We were both at a school track meet, which ended with us holding hands on the bus ride home. When it was dark enough outside so that nobody could see us, she shyly leaned over and kissed me.

I was in love.

She was my best friend, and I knew she would be my wife someday.

We started high school as a couple. Neither of us cared about impressing anyone – popularity was not an issue. It was us against the world. Every gesture was meant solely for each other.

We were beyond our years, so naturally we took the next step in our relationship. It was entirely sweet. Neither of us wanted the situation to be awkward or get out of hand, so we discussed our impending loss of virginity.

I wanted to make her feel all of the love I had toward her. I remember every moment of the actual event – the way her long red hair hung over her shoulders teasingly offering me a peek of her beautiful breasts, the way she shyly bit her lip moments before I entered her, how she drew small slow circles on my chest when we were lying together afterwards.

But the fucking bitterness I've felt for the past few years almost made me forget all of that.

I don't even remember when it all turned to shit. Well, I guess if I think about it now I do. It was toward the end of Freshman year. Her parents were moving that summer, but she hadn't told me. At the time, I still thought everything was fucking fantastic between the two of us, but there were definitely signs.

Sometimes, when I would be talking to her, she would stop paying attention. These were things I only noticed after she was gone and I did some serious reflection. Other times, she would blow me off and hang out with some random friends from school.

I mean, I was already planning our goddamned wedding in my mind like a prepubescent girl, but the only thing she was planning was an exit strategy.

Summer started two weeks before she moved, and I still didn't know she was planning on moving. I went over to her house on a Tuesday. She had blown me off again, but being Forks there was nothing to do so I went to find her anyway. We were supposed to go to the beach off of the reservation, but she said she had some stuff to do.

Anyway, I got to her house and let myself in like I always did. I made myself a sandwich in her parent's kitchen, somehow completely oblivious to the boxes containing some of their packed up shit, before heading upstairs to her room. I was so fucking blind and naïve in those days, which was funny because I had this over-inflated sense of adulthood that I prided myself on having.

Long story short, I opened her bedroom door with the fucking sandwich still hanging out of my mouth to find her fucking some random Junior.

My life fractured.

They didn't even notice me standing there, so I quietly shut the door before making my way back downstairs. I sat on the couch in the living room for a few minutes just completely numb – not wanting to really admit to myself what I just saw with my own eyes.

I left shortly after. Victoria never bothered to call me or even fucking break up with me. She just left town with her family two weeks later and I never heard from her again. Esme was the one who told me they had moved.

She came home shocked one day, asking why I didn't tell them Victoria's family was moving. That news was just more to add to my already shitty mood, so I replied, "We broke up."

That was that. Nobody asked me anything about it after that. Alice did, but I didn't tell her much. Victoria's name wasn't mentioned, and I became a sad and brooding fuck.

At school the next year, my mood was still shitty, but I guess everybody heard about my split with Victoria because girls were constantly flirting with me.

After a while, I stopped caring about anything and started flirting back. I was angry with Victoria, and wanted to get back at her. My heart was broken because I had given her the most important thing a person could give another. I gave her myself. My virginity, my heart, my future – everything that went along with it. She was love. I had that once or at least I thought I did.

It was all hers but she never wanted it, and if she didn't want it then it was no use to me, so I gave in to my more carnal instincts with anyone who fucking wanted to take advantage.

Girls are just a really fucked up way of making me feel better for a short amount of time.

And now Bella was asking me why I was so fucked up.

I guess I could consider Bella my friend. It seems like I could trust her, but I'm still not sure. She and I have been hanging out a lot lately, but it was more in response to get my sister and fucking Rosalie off my back. They think I need to learn to appreciate girls more and should try being friends with them instead of just fucking them. _That's not exactly going to plan._

I've already fucked up and kissed her three times. Each time I had to mentally fucking cockblock myself because friends aren't supposed to fuck around like that. This whole friend thing is quite new to me. Even with Victoria, it turned into something more. I'm having a hard time with the whole boundary thing.

To be honest, trying to be Bella's friend is a bit exhausting, and that saying something because I've got shit loads of stamina. She's always asking me to help her with her homework and hang out with her, but I guess it all goes with the friend territory bullshit. I can't really complain though, we do have fun sometimes and she is pretty easy to get along with.

_Fuck!_

I couldn't tell her all of the details about Victoria though. I'm not sure I could put it all into words – there are certain feelings that you just can't describe. So, I did what I do best nowadays. I fucking lied to her face without giving away the slightest of inclinations that I wasn't telling the truth.

"She's just an old girlfriend. I guess I was having a dream about my childhood."

_Way to go Cullen…_


End file.
